


Hanni Is Human; A collection of Hilarity

by stag_hag83



Series: Hanni is Human [1]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alana Bloom - Freeform, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bagels, Because I accidentally deleted the entire work, Bev Katz - Freeform, Butts, Cock blocking dogs, Daddy Kink, Dogs, Dry Humping, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Franklyn is a shit, Hilarious phone shenanigans, Hilarity Ensues, I can't even, Ill timed butt pinching, Just kidding it's not, Loud Orgasms, Love, M/M, Phone sex is the best sex, Poor Hanni, Road Head, Sofa-lingus, Will is a shit, Wine, because Hannibal, breakfast sex, gagging, just mild, misuse of closet, more poop, more to be added - Freeform, not on cock for once, obviously, poop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 18:05:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 56
Words: 62,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7064425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stag_hag83/pseuds/stag_hag83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of our favorite Hanni getting OWNED by life. </p><p>Including but not limited to:</p><p>Diarrhea<br/>Dog balls<br/>Cell phone shenanigans<br/>Sexting<br/>Morphine high</p><p>And MUCH MUCH More</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ouch

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. So....I accidentally deleted this entire collection. And to be fair-IT WAS SUPER CONFUSING. And then everything was the worst. 
> 
> So here it is! With a shiny new chapter! 
> 
> Also-a HUGE thank you to my betas, @compersian and the ever glorious Guild members!!!! Rainy, Doc, Pervums!
> 
> So-just wanted to add-I read every single comment-and you have no clue how happy they make me. When I'm feeling shitty, or frustrated or just because, I re-read and am overjoyed. I really can't thank you enough for your encouragement and support!! XO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High Hanni is Horny! Need I say more??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy...I know Hanni did

Will thought it was a bit cliche to compare him to a dancer, but there it was. Hannibal moved around his kitchen with a fluid grace he deeply admired. Will wasn’t clumsy per say, but next to Hannibal he looked like a bull in a china shop. The doctor stirred mysterious sauces, chopped exotic vegetables, and pureed god knows what with speed and accuracy. He was, thought Will, pretty much the personification of poise and control.

He was the king of his domain. Until he wasn’t.

Hannibal made a sharp, staccato sound as his feet flew out from under him. Will almost scrambled over the counter to get to him, but to no avail. There was a nauseating crack, and Will was on top of him in a moment, eyes wide.

“Hannibal! Jesus! What happened?”

Hannibal’s face had a greenish tinge, and he looked up at Will drunkenly.

“I seem to have fallen.”

Will almost laughed, and then saw Hannibal’s arm. His stomach turned.

The offending arm was bent at an unnatural angle, somehow twisting away from the elbow. The fabric of his shirt covered the obvious break. Will gulped down a mouthful of bile. Despite the crime scenes, the gore, and the buckets of blood, broken bones made Will Graham, criminal profiler for the FBI, sick as a dog.

“Your..Your arm is broken Hannibal. We need to...we need to get you to the hospital.”

Hannibal looked up at Will again, and with no expression what-so-ever, said, “Ouch”.

Will raised his eyebrows and pressed his lips together. He pretended to cough while his shoulders shook with laughter. Still trying to contain himself, Will picked up the phone.

“Jack? Hey. I could use a little help...”

 

oOo

An hour and a half later, Will sat in a brightly lit waiting room at Johns Hopkins. Hannibal had gone back immediately, triage nurses swooping in with a wheel chair and several blood pressure cuffs.

“Mr. Graham?” a feminine voice rang out through the large room.

Will raised his hand and walked towards the plump, friendly looking woman.

“Mr. Graham, Doctor Lecter is back in a room. He’s on a significant amount of pain medication, and is pretty out of it, but is asking for you quite... adamantly.”

She paused and let a little smile creep onto her face.

“He also wanted me to warn you.”

“Warn me?” Will asked, confused.

She cleared her throat.

“Warn you that...when he’s done with you tonight, you’ll be limping for a week”.

Will slapped a hand over his face, which was quickly turning an unnerving shade of maroon.

oOo

In room 151, Hannibal lay asleep in his adjustable bed. Will watched him for a moment, appreciating his serene, almost innocent expression. This was something he usually saved for Will alone.

At the sound of footsteps, Hannibal’s head snapped up comically, his eyes wide. Will was reminded of Buster, protecting his pack leader from miscreants and other foe.

“Will...y!” exclaimed Hannibal, attempting to wink. He only managed to blink both eyes unevenly.

Will walked over, and kissed Hannibal lightly on the forehead. Hannibal grinned at him crookedly.

“Hey Willy.” murmured Hannibal, attempting to sound smooth and alluring.

“Hey yourself” said Will dubiously. “Did you just call me Willy?”

Hannibal, free of all inhibitions, growled at him suggestively.

“Did the lovely nurse Reynolds warn you? I made her promise. I made her swear.”

 

Nurse Reynolds tried to look busy during this exchange, pretending to enter data into a mobile computer. Hannibal lifted a single eyebrow, and looked Will up and down. Thankfully, the older man’s eyes began to shut. The nurse decided it was safe to complete her “work” and hurried over to adjust her patient’s many IVs.

With Hannibal asleep, or at least in some sort of delightful stupor, Will turned to wander out for a heavily caffeinated beverage. He was speaking quietly to the nurse, when he felt a sharp pinch on his right butt cheek. Startled, he whipped back towards Hannibal. The disheveled patient, looking anything but sexy in a purple hospital gown, tried again to wink. He failed, shrugged, and flopped back down onto his pillows.

Will sighed. This was going to be interesting.

 

oOo

 

“Hommme...” Hannibal slurred.

Will had helped him through the front door, trying not to bump his heavily plastered arm. Hannibal’s pain had been better, but they had dosed the living Hell out of him right before the ride home.

Hannibal plopped down heavily onto his favorite leather sofa, immediately falling over onto his side. Will was sure he was asleep, when the doctor rolled over and stuck his head between 2 of the cushions. He sniffed deeply, and released a muffled sound. Did he just purr?

He stayed like that for a moment, an ostrich with its head in the sand. Will laughed and hauled him out.

“You’ll suffocate! Besides. It’s really fucking weird.”

It was Hannibal’s turn to laugh.

“You like it” he whispered, eyes crossing slightly.

It took all of Will’s strength not to take several hundred pictures of Hannibal grinning like an idiot rubbing his face against sofa cushions. Bev would eat this shit up...

He decided against it, and simply sat next to Hannibal, pulling his head into his lap. In about 3 seconds flat, snores filled the room.

Will must have fallen asleep as well, and woke with a weight on his lap. Hannibal was still breathing evenly against his thigh. Will smiled lovingly down at the unconscious man, and apologized silently as he carefully took out his phone and opened the camera. He couldn’t resist. The renowned Dr. Hannibal Lecter, talented surgeon and famed psychiatrist, curled up in his boyfriend’s lap drooling like a Golden Retriever. Will grinned sleepily, and drifted off against the cushions.


	2. Whoops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like you don't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give all the credit for this idea to the EVER LOVELY @Ina_K

“Why not just text me? It took all of 5 seconds to tell me that.” Will held the phone up to his cheek, whilst Winston rolled in what was hopefully cat shit. Far preferable to the alternative, rat carcass. 

“I don’t care to text people, William. Now did you, or did you not hear me. Dinner at 8:30.” 

“I understand. Well, actually I don’t.” Will was bating him, and highly enjoying it. Winston trotted back to the porch. It was definitely a rat carcass.

“How will I ensure you received the message?” Hannibal frowned, elbow deep in various pig parts. 

“There’s a little “read” notification. It actually tells you if I read the message.” There was currently half a rat on Will’s foot. The ass-half. 

“Fine.” At this Hannibal hung up, and left Will to brush Winston’s teeth. Always an exciting activity.

oOo

It took Hannibal all of 5 minutes to perfect the art of the text with elegance and finesse. His fingers made articulate love to the small keyboard, while Will decided to send his boyfriend as many poop emojis as humanly possible. Hannibal retaliated by texting Will approximately 300 times a day. Bev had started to become suspicious, and at one point grabbed Will’s phone from his hand. 

H: _I will see you later. Please stop for lubricant. I am out. And not from CVS._

_W: Duh._

Bev died for ten minutes, and actually handed Zeller the phone. They proceeded to play keep away until Will grabbed it and stomped off. 

oOo

“You know,” Will said to Hannibal, who was currently trying to get dog puke out of the carpet. 

“There are other ways to take advantage of texting.” Will tried to look sultry as he said this.

“Is there.” Answered Hannibal blandly, giving up on the carpet. He needed bleach. 

“There’s this thing. Sexting. I’m going to be gone next week, thought maybe we could try it out.”  
“Sexting. I assume that means texting. About sex of some kind or another.” Hannibal glared up at Will, who was apparently unconcerned with the expensive flooring. Will smirked and stealthily picked up his phone. He shot off a quick text. 

 

W: _I can feel your lips on my cock._

Hannibal, completely oblivious, rose and took his phone from the edge of the bed. He opened the text, and his eyes widened a fraction. 

“Vulgar William. Vulgar”. He continued to scrub fruitlessly at the carpet.

 

oOo

Will set off for Massachusetts, in order to lend his gift to a friend of Jack’s. Boston was far and cold, but for once the FBI had sprung for a decent hotel. More than decent in fact, simply because it was the only thing left in the city during the Christmas season. Will arrived exhausted, and didn’t argue when the concierge waved at a bellboy to carry his bag to his room. He lay down on the bed in his suite (thats right, a suite) and luxuriated in the mattress. Even Hannibal wouldn’t have been able to whine. That reminded him. He pulled out his phone. 

W: _Hi. I’m here. Great room. You’d love it. Make sure the dogs don’t die._

Will yawned and set the phone down, lowering the track lighting to a pleasant glow. He threw off his clothes haphazardly and crawled under the blankets in boxers, a t-shirt and socks. Hannibal was repulsed when Will wore socks in bed, so he had to indulge when he could. He was drifting off into a happy haze when- 

_“BING”._

He groaned and reached for his phone. Probably Bev sending him yet another link for expensive lube on Amazon.

H: _Hello._

Will frowned and looked at clock. 2:30 am. It was a Friday, which meant Bev would be out and about, but Hannibal should be long asleep.

W: _Why are you awake. Are the dogs OK?_

H: _Dogs doing well. Thank you for inquiring after my health._

W: _You said “hello”. If you were dying you wouldn’t greet me with “hello”. I’m going to bed. You should also. Don’t you have an emergency Franklyn appointment tomorrow? You need to be up early enough to drink 5 mimosas before dealing with that mess. Goodnight._

Will rolled back over, resolutely settling down into the comforter. It had been about a minute when-

_“BING”._

W: _Go to bed. Have some Valerian root tea or whatever and get some sleep. It’s 3am._

_H: Slept in. Not tired. So, what are you wearing?_

Will’s eyes about fell out of his skull, and he sat up to fully appreciate the situation. 

W: _You have got to be kidding me._

_H: I assure I am not. You didn’t answer my question._

_W: What did you do? Google “sexting?”...omg. That's exactly what you did._

_H: And? You didn’t answer my question. I just got out of the shower. My hair is still wet._

_W: Hannibal. C’mon. Do you think some cheap lines are going to-_

_H: I’m stretching myself out for you Will. Pressing my fingers into my hot, slick opening, waiting to be filled with your-_

Will sighed. It was3:47 am. He was pretty exhausted, a little annoyed, and really fucking horny. He slipped off his boxers, t-shirt, and even his socks. 

W: _OK I’ll bite. What were you saying?_

oOo

 

Both Will and Hannibal were pretty out of it the next day. Hannibal had required 3 cups of coffee to keep his eyes open during Franklyn’s ramblings and awkward compliments. Will also required a touch more caffeine, and still fell asleep in the hotel lobby waiting for Jack’s buddy to pick him up.

 

Being Saturday, Hannibal had the day to himself after Franklyn ambled off. He sat on the edge of his desk enjoying the peace of an empty office. He pulled out and checked his phone. Just a text from Jack asking him to fill in again for Will Monday. The thought of Will prompted Hannibal to continue their conversation from last. 

H: _Good morning. Who would have thought I could achieve 2 orgasms without you even present? Texting may be a worthwhile past time after all._

Hannibal forgot about the text and went about his usual Saturday business. Dry cleaner, butcher, farmer’s market. He came home, rested, read, and listened to Chopin. Before long the sun was setting, and he began to think about starting dinner. He realized at this point he had yet to hear from Will. He had one missed text, distracted by good music and fine wine. He was disappointed to see it was from Jack. 

J: _Dr. Lecter. Orgasms may all be well and good, but would you be able to cover for Will on Monday? Also, a friendly piece of advice. You may want to take a quick peek before you automatically return a text. Tell Will Graham he owes me a call :)_

Hannibal dropped the phone onto the floor with a clatter. He threw back the remainder of his glass and decided to call Will. On the actual phone. For a long, actual conversation. It went straight to voice-mail. Hannibal hung up and was trying to figure out the least humiliating way to apologize to Jack when he heard-

_“BING”._

W: _Hey. Saw I missed your call. I’m working. Just text me. ;)_


	3. Couch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe don't move that by yourself dude. But where there's a WILL there's a way. See what I did there??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He deserved it.

“Hey Doctor Lecter. Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

Will had gotten to his phone on the last ring, and propped it awkwardly between his ear and shoulder.

“Good evening Will. I must apologize. I know it’s shockingly rude, but I must cancel our dinner. I realize it’s last minute”.

“Not a problem, but is everything alright?” asked Will, sensing something behind Hannibal’s even, almost expressionless tone.

At this point, Hannibal heard a clatter and a muffled “Dammit!”

Will returned, out of breath.

“Sorry. Im sorry. I got a new dog, and he-”

Hannibal listened as the phone hit the floor once again, this time a bark echoing through the line.

“Dr. Lecter. Jesus. I apologize. My newest addition is um...well, somewhat of a challenge.”

Will murmured “And an asshole” under his breath, which Hannibal of course heard.

“Will, just a moment of your time” Hannibal said tersely, when Will gave Hannibal his full attention to the call (after many moments of fruitless struggle with the enthusiastic dog).

Will was surprised. He had never heard Hannibal speak sharply. Even when pissed off at Jack (join the club) he spoke carefully and patiently.

“Of course. Not a problem concerning dinner. But really, Doctor Lecter, you don’t sound like yourself.” Will was now focused, and confused.

Hannibal sighed, for the first finding Will’s empathetic abilities kind of annoying. Although he would never use the word annoying. At least so he told himself.

“I assure you I’m fine William. We shall reschedule”.

oOo

The line went dead. Will became officially concerned. He looked down at Titan, his new dog, now sprawled out across the bed. The sheets were soaked and covered in gigantic muddy prints. He’d deal with the bed, and the beast when he returned. Will drove to Baltimore, something nagging at his keen senses. He neared Hannibal’s home, and pulled up into the drive. The house was dark, save one dim light somewhere on the main floor. Even more disconcerted, Will knocked heavily on the front door.

There was no answer, and Will knocked again.

Only silence.

He knew something was wrong. He tried the door handle and it turned quite easily. He walked into the dark foyer.

“Hannibal? Hello?” He didn’t think about his sudden abandonment of the formal “Doctor Lecter”.

He took his shoes off, and continued through the hallway towards a faint light glowing out of an open door. He also picked up something else. Music?  
When he reached the room, he gaped at the scene before him. A large, obviously expensive couch was lodged tightly in the doorway. The frame was impressively cracked, chunks of paint leaving dust on the sofa and floor. He could hear some sort of soothing, classical tune wafting out from behind the ruined wall.

“Hannibal? It’s Will. Are you...ok?”

“Will?” Hannibal’s voice was thin, and Will heard a tell tale groan.

“I’m coming in. Just stay where you are.”

Hannibal chuckled sarcastically.

oOo

Will was able to maneuver over the arm of the couch and jump over the side with minimal damage to his balls. The room was obviously a study. A heavy wooden desk sat in one corner, identical to the one in Hannibal’s office. Books of all shapes and sizes lined the walls, covering most surfaces. In the gaps were renderings and drawings all tastefully framed, many yellowed with age. In the middle of the floor, on an ornate oriental rug, lay Hannibal Lecter.

“Hannibal! What in the...” Will began.

Will kneeled by Hannibal who was on his back, staring miserably at the ceiling. His face was uncharacteristically sweaty, which was funny, sweat typically being Will's forte.

“What on Earth?" began Will.

He then put two and two together and stared almost angrily at the prone man.

“Did you try to move that in yourself?”

Hannibal said nothing and clenched his jaw.

“Why didn’t you call me you stubborn idiot!?” Will practically yelled.

“I didn’t see the need William.”

Will actually laughed at this haughty remark, now sure the doctor hadn’t been poisoned or stabbed. Hannibal squinted subtly at Will, rage hiding his embarrassment.

“I don’t see the need for name calling” sniffed Hannibal.

Even the slight movement of his head caused a bolt of pain to shoot down his back. Hannibal grimaced and allowed a small sound of agony to escape him. Will, feeling a bad at his initial reaction to his friend’s state, softened his expression.

“I’m sorry. I just wish you’d called me. You know I like to carry around dogs and boat-motors in my spare time. I can handle a couch.”

Hannibal smiled a barely concern-able smile and relinquished the little bit of pride he was desperately grasping onto.

“Back went out did it?” It wasn’t as much as a question as a sympathetic statement.

“Indeed”. Hannibal had learned his lesson, head staying perfectly still.

“I can’t believe you called me to cancel dinner. How did you even use your phone?” asked Will incredulously.

“With difficulty” was the only answer he received.

“How’s the pain” Will asked, already knowing the answer.

“Painkillers?” continued Will.

“Down the hall, bathroom third to the right” Hannibal barely moved his lips.

Will, without a thought in his head, bent over the doctor and placed a barely-there kiss on his damp forehead. Will colored, and before either of them could process the event, Will again braved the almost impossibly wedged sofa to the bathroom. Hannibal continued to stare at the ceiling, still feeling Will’s lips on his face. There was definitely something alluring about Will Graham doting on him. If he could actually move his fucking head from side to side.


	4. Tales of the Cock Blocking K-9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'll just have to take a little look see...

Walking in the twilight of Wolf Trap was possibly one of Will’s favorite pastimes. The nights were still, the only sounds his dogs around him, and sleepy birds whistling their lullabies. He had persuaded the doctor to walk with him most evenings, dogs and all. They typically strolled across the wide field, watching the dogs play and fight. The animals also had a tendency to roll in rodent corpses. Hannibal pretended not to mind.

“Would you like to try something different today?” asked Will, as they sat on the sofa in front of the glowing fireplace.

September may have been a little premature for a blaze, but Will loved the way the orange light dimly lit the room. It was his sanctuary. Hannibal raised an eyebrow and glanced at Will.

“You know I’m always up for the unorthodox” he answered, placing his hand on Will’s khaki- clad thigh.

Will scooted closer and started nuzzling Hannibal’s light stubble. Hannibal made some sort of low pitched noise in his throat. The newest dog, Titan, was confused by the activity. He decided to investigate and leapt onto the sofa. The massive Great Dane mix attempted to wedge his impressive rear end between the two of them. When settled, he sniffed once and began licking his genitals enthusiastically.

Will laughed until he cried, and Hannibal simply looked murderously at the stupid creature pressing into his shoulder. The moment was clearly gone, and the nuzzling would have to wait. Will got up, and walked towards the door, still giggling.

“Before I was so rudely interrupted by my cradle-robbing boyfriend, I was going to suggest we try one of the lengthier trails tonight. It’s unbelievable outside.”

Will didn’t wait for an answer, and began pulling on his shabby jacket.

Hannibal had attempted to take him coat shopping on an ill-fated day several weeks ago, but it ended up...badly. There had been screaming, yelling, throwing of souffle and eventual angry refrigerator sex. Actually, thought Hannibal reflecting, all in all not so bad. Although he did had to buy a new fridge. He rose eagerly, more than happy to enjoy the evening with Will on his own. The thought of taking the young man against one of the pale birches in the thin woods already had his cock whining petulantly in his pants.

Then Titan, that cock-blocking son of a bitch, bounded off the sofa seeing Will shuffle into his jacket. The dog stood expectantly by the door, heavy tail smacking the wall. Will glanced down at him and smiled. The rest of the pack were still exhausted from their earlier outdoor escapades, and snoozed peacefully around the living room. Will looked at Hannibal with those ridiculous eyes of his, knowingly manipulating his partner. Hannibal let out a long breath, relenting, and the 3 of them walked out into the darkening evening. Hannibal turned to Will, who was happily taking in the smells and sounds of Wolf Trap. The sky was a hazy purple-blue, putting Hannibal strongly in mind of Marc Chagall and Maxfield Parrish. This wouldn’t be so bad.

Titan had behaved himself on their walk, allowing the two men some quality snuggling time on a small wooden bench sitting at the trail head. Will walked Hannibal to his car and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. The good doctor watched man and dog walk inside almost fondly, feeling more secure knowing that the gentle giant was watching over Will when he couldn’t. He smiled, turned, and stepped right into a gigantic pile of shit sitting by the driver’s side door. As the soft excrement seeped into his socks, he wondered vaguely if the dog would fit into the trunk of the car.

oOo

The bed bounced under their combined weight. Hannibal lay heavily on top of Will, who was starting to moan obscenely. Several fingers (6) of whiskey had significantly lowered his inhibitions. Every refill of the crystal glass had Hannibal smiling evilly to himself. He was a tricksy Hobbit.

Hannibal’s insistent hands were soon sliding Will’s Dockers to his knees and over his ankles. The younger man arched his back as Hannibal ran the flat of his tongue up and over the head of his cock. This elicited more moans, which echoed impressively off the walls and ceiling. Will yanked Hannibal’s hair painfully, making the Doctor’s eyes water. Hannibal was fully hard at this jolt of pain, reveling in Will’s dominant thrusting.

Hannibal grappled at Will’s hip bones, the bed dipping dramatically as Will bounced. He was about to unbuckle his own belt when a heavy, hairy weight hit his back, pinning him to the mattress. He looked back over his shoulder, grimacing in knowing expectation. As he had assumed, Titan was attached to his calf, humping vigorously and panting like a marathon runner heading towards the finish line.

Feeling nauseated and slightly used, Hannibal flipped over and kicked the dog off the bed. Titan seemed unabashed, and sneezed loudly before trotting off to the living room. Hannibal glanced up at Will. The man was deeply asleep, snoring softly. He got off the bed and covered him carefully. He tried to press into the bulge between his legs, not feeling up to masturbating. Maybe he would go for a walk in the snow without pants on. That oughta do it, right?

oOo

Hannibal had spent several days planning the evening. The Pulled Pork was on the table, falling off the bone and filling the kitchen with a thickly sweet aroma. The meat had been slowly smoking for 8 or so hours in Hannibal’s backyard, and was perfectly seasoned (of course). The table was set, his 3 favorite animal skulls decorating the center. A very drunk Will had attempted to juggle them several months before, tequila and Beverly Katz very much to blame. The heads had been hidden away since, secure in a shadowy corner of his garage.

They were out in all of their creepy elegance this evening, making the already grand table appear grander. Hannibal always sat at the head , with Will at his right hand. The crown jewel of his display were not the skulls, but the 1998 Clos d’Ambonnay chilling in a silver bucket between the plates. The champagne didn’t go well with pulled pork, but paired nicely with a small platinum object, glittering proudly in a tiny open box at Will’s spot. Hannibal eyed the box, feeling rare butterflies rise in his stomach.

It was 7:30. Hannibal passed a hand over his hair, his vest, his jacket. All was as it should be. He was slightly startled when his phone began trilling.

“William. Are you on your way?”

“Hannibal! I think Titan broke his leg. He fell off the porch chasing a hot dog he threw up earlier. I’m on my way to the vet now. He’s in so much pain!” Will sounded strained and slightly out of breath.

Hannibal could hear pathetic, robust howls in the background.

“I’m so sorry about dinner...” started Will, cut off by another ear splitting whine.

“Not to worry Will. I will meet you there”.

Hannibal took a sad glance at the champagne, and carried the now cold meal to the kitchen.


	5. It's the red button

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bev Katz will NOT be stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is actually more of Will getting owned by a Hanni fuck up. Hanni doesn't give a shit. No one is surprised.

Bev Katz was walking to her car after work, exhausted and extremely irritated. Will had scurried off again at 9 pm with some excuse under his breath. She had had several bad dates to whine about, including one with a man who was planning on legally changing his name to Gandalf. Will barely acknowledged her as he zipped away, tripped over a trash can, and recovered with unusual grace. She was Will Graham’s Lady-bro! She deserved some attention for fuck sake.

Usually she would stop by any night of the week, bring shitty pizza, and crowd him on the sofa. They would drink beer, start a fire, and watch BBC America. Bev started up her car, and her fingers began to thaw slowly as the vents warmed up. This December had been uncharacteristically brutal. Jimmy even sported a cast on his arm from slipping on black ice a few weeks ago. The last time they went out, Bev had drawn penises of various sizes all over it. In fact, she mused, there were now probably more penises than cast.

oOo

Hannibal was insatiable. Will was insatiable. All the damn time.

 

The dogs were starting to get annoyed, their master too pre-occupied to cuddle on the couch or give lengthy belly rubs. He still let them out, tossed a few sticks and did a little romping. He usually had a new human with him, who smelled like wool and fancy sausage. Then the pack was shuffled inside, given food and water, and the people would head to the bedroom. The door was always shut tight, strange noises coming from within. One particularly loud evening, a curious Winston walked into the bedroom, where the door had been left ajar, to see what on Earth the deal was. At the horrifying display before him, his eyes bugged out of his doggie skull, and he sprinted from the room. He told Buster about it, who said they should go shit in Hannibal’s briefcase. Winston shivered, recalling the traumatic event. He had always assumed dogs were the only one who wore collars.

oOo

Bev had had a few too many. Ok, a lot too many. She was in a dive bar with Zeller, which happened to have the best Old Fashioneds in the City. They had both had a few rounds, sucking on the cherries and oranges that floated on top of the drinks.

“What is his Problem??” Slurred Bev, accidentally dropping an orange slice down her bra.

“Dunno man” replied Zeller. “Maybe he has a girlfriend or something”.

Bev squinted at her co-worker, swaying slightly on her stool. Could it be? The reclusive, mentally unstable, (pretty hot) Will Graham with a “special friend"? Well. It was her duty as main Lady-bro to find out. She and Zeller were too drunk to drive, and there was no way she was taking a cab to Wolftrap Virginia. She took out her phone, smiling deviously. She’d just have to call until he picked up. She checked her battery; Probably enough for 20 calls, if she didn’t leave voicemails. Zeller sat next to her, now outside, hiccuping wetly. Special friend or not, she was tired of this nonsense. She dialed.

oOo

Hannibal licked Will’s neck, from the base to the earlobe. Will’s ears were particularly sensitive, and Hannibal took the opportunity of sticking his tongue in them whenever possible. Will groaned and his eyes closed, extravagant lashes laying on his cheeks. They both were panting by the time their clothes were strewn all over the floor (save Hannibal’s tie which was hanging from a ceiling fan). Hannibal lowered him self onto Will so they were chest to chest. The doctor circled Will’s nipples with a damp finger, causing him to arch his back and hiss like a feral cat.

Will, who had the stamina of a horny teenager, rolled Hannibal onto his back. He straddled the older man, driving himself down onto his shiny, slick cock without hesitation. Will liked to begin slowly, teasing Hannibal, making the usually unflappable gentleman plead dramatically. Typically by the end, the headboard was knocking against the wall with such force that it was starting to chip away at the paint. Will was in the mood to really draw this one out, until the good Dr.Lecter begged and cried. They were in the middle of these festivities when Will’s phone began ringing. Without a sound, Hannibal grabbed the phone, declined the call, and tossed it onto the small table next to the bed.

oOo

Bev was surprised when Will picked up on the first ring. She had put him on speaker so Zeller could hear, and he and Bev could chew him out together.

“Will?” she said when the phone answered.

She could hear a noise, a growl perhaps? He was probably wrestling with one of the dogs. She didn’t even wait for him to greet her.

“Where the Hell have you been Graham?”

The only answer was a sharp cry accompanied by a whine.

“Will, stop messing around with the dogs and talk to me!”

She didn’t hear anything for a moment and then, with no warning, there came “Hannibal!", which was practically screamed. Bev and Zeller froze and looked at each other. They gaped, open mouthed down at the phone. They didn’t even consider hanging up. This was way to juicy.

Zeller was taking a long swig from something in a paper bag when they heard quite clearly, “Will! You are exquisite. So tight! Always so ready for me”!

That was definitely Hannibal’s Lecter’s voice, although his accent was a bit...thicker. At this point Zeller was laying on his back howling, Bev swatting at him to pipe down. She herself started to grin, happy to have some serious blackmail material.

Brian was slapping his hands with mirth, and they almost missed, “Faster! Will! Please!”  
Will must have obliged, when the sounds of heavy breathing filled the parking lot where they sat on the hood of Bev’s car. They both jumped when ear-splitting tandem shouts came from the speaker. Then there was silence, save the sound of soft panting. Bev decided to pull the trigger.

oOo

Will and Hannibal lay next to each other, not even touching, feeling their orgasms begin to fade. Hannibal closed his eyes, relishing the smell of sex and sweat permeating the room.

“HEY GRAHAM!”

Will sat up, whipping his head back and forth. Hannibal too looked around curiously. Was someone in the house?

“WILL GRAHAM!” and then giggling.

The sound was slightly muffled, and was coming from the left side on the bed. Will looked over.

Someone was screaming in laughter. Actually, 2 some-ones. Will had gotten tanked with Zeller and Bev more than enough times to recognize the sound. He grabbed the phone and hung up hard, chucking it against the bathroom door. He jumped out of the bed, and turned on Hannibal, who was completely nonplussed.

“It’s red button Hannibal! The RED button!” Will yelled when he stomped from the room. Hannibal chuckled fondly, and fell immediately to into a deep, satisfied sleep.


	6. A shitty situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And yet again....I REFUSE TO SUMMARIZE. Love you. Meeeaaannn it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a play on words...

Classic Hannibal. Classic fucking Hannibal.

Will looked around, and felt his anxiety level rise dramatically. The restaurant was close, dark, and intimate. It was all deep plum colored walls, crowded tables, and candle light. It was impossible not to listen in on the other diner’s conversations, all of them crammed together uncomfortably. Thankfully they were sitting in the back, with a much better airflow. He sat next to Hannibal at a round table with 5 other people. Every time he shifted (often) he brushed shoulders against his neighbor’s. He didn’t mind Hannibal of course, the brief touch slightly grounding. Doctor Alan, however was a different story entirely.

The drunker Dr. George Alan got, the grabbier. His hand was on Will’s shoulder constantly, bracing himself and snorting like a pig as he laughed maniacally. At one point the doctor slapped a heavy palm on Will’s thigh. Why had he agreed to this? Oh right. It had been sometime after Hannibal had pulled his face from between Will’s butt cheeks. He probably would have agreed to running naked through the BAU singing “Let it Go” if there was a rim job on the line.

Will had been bitching to Bev about the event last week, and she had come up with an ingenious plan. Will would send a code to her cell. They decided on “ass-wipe” because, well, it was Bev. She would call, have an “emergency” and Will would make his escape.

oOo

Hannibal knew Will was far and away out of his element. He could smell the sweat starting to coat the younger man’s back, and he fidgeted constantly like a bored toddler. He kept bumping Hannibal’s shoulder, jarring the arm holding the fork. The doctor couldn’t believe Will had agreed to the dinner so readily. Although, to be fair, he had eaten Will’s ass for a good 45 minutes before he very strategically brought it up. The food itself was quite good, although there were several changes he would have made here and there. More cilantro, less lemon zest, etc etc. The meat, however, was cooked to perfection, and Hannibal himself had nothing to complain about. He sliced into it, knife quietly scraping the china. The meat bled as if the creature were still alive, heart pumping vigorously, eyes rolling wildly in it’s skull. He closed his eyes and took a moment of quiet pleasure as the juices flowed over his tongue.

He opened his eyes, jerked out of revery by Will pulling his phone from his pocket beneath the table. It blared loudly, even engulfing Dr. Alan’s crescendoing guffaws. Hannibal was furious and glared at Will, grisly murder in his eyes. Will ignored him completely and answered.

“Bev! Wait stop crying! What’s wrong?” Will sounded horrified.

Hannibal could hear Bev sobbing wildly over the line.

“It’s ok. Calm down. Yes. Yes. I’ll be right there. Don’t move”.

Hannibal, being essentially clairvoyant, understood Will’s devious little plan immediately. Bev was practically screaming when he hung up, really getting into her part. Will turned to Hannibal, and sorrowfully glanced around the stunned table.

“I am so sorry, but fear I must go. Emergency unfortunately, but it was fascinating meeting you all. Hannibal has spoken of each of you so highly, I feel as if I already know you.”

Will bowed his head regally, playing the lead in the little high-school play he and Bev had cooked up. He leaned over, grabbed Hannibal’s chin, and kissed him rather aggressively. The wet smacking ended with a small peck on the nose. Will looked at the staring group of physicians and dragged a hand suggestively across his face, wiping off the excess saliva. Hannibal was seething. And hard as a rock. He had to discreetly undo his belt and pull down his zipper to let things...air out.

oOo

Will practically ran from the restaurant, trying to look frantic. He fooled everyone but Hannibal, and the others expressed their grief that the wonderful young man had left so suddenly. Alan, looking fat and sweaty, winked at him conspicuously. Hannibal put on his glossy smile and simply continued to eat, making light conversation and laughing at the lame jokes of his colleagues. He seemed completely himself. Inwardly he was wondering if he should drug Will and shave his head, or, leave a gigantic hickey on his forehead. He decided on the latter.

The dinner continued without interruption, with Hannibal bored and ready to deal with his boyfriend. Will would definitely be hiding out at Beverly Katz’s small apartment in Baltimore. He looked at his watch discretely. He could make it there in 20 minutes if he could avoid highway cops. He sighed, still slightly horny. The group would most likely be eating for another few hours, having dessert, ice-wine, espresso, and very possibly more wine. While he was pretending to be engaged in conversation, a familiar voice chimed out loudly across the small space.

“Dr. Lecter!”

Hannibal closed his eyes. Will was going to be sleeping on the couch with the dogs for the next month. Franklyn Froideveaux hurried to the table. To Hannibal’s horror, the chubby bearded man sat in Will’s vacant chair uninvited.

“Dr. Lecter! How serendipitous to see you here!” Franklin was positively beaming.

“Hello Franklyn. Are you here with someone?” Hannibal inquired tiredly.

Hannibal’s party looked at Franklyn with interest and amusement.

“I was meeting a friend, but luckily for me they had to cancel! Do you mind of I join you?”

“I believe you already have” replied Hannibal dryly.

Franklin took no notice of his psychiatrist’s less than friendly tone and hailed a server. He ordered the same wine sitting next Hannibal and actually winked at the waiter. Hannibal pursed his lips and tried not to send Will a hate text right then and there. His face was going nowhere near that boy’s ass for a month. Or maybe 2 weeks. He would decide later.

oOo

As Franklyn was asking Hannibal to introduce him to the table, the doctor felt a small cramp in the pit of his stomach. It must be due to Franklyn’s practically sweating into his food. He took a tentative bite and chewed slowly, and yet there came another, more powerful pain that shot across his middle. To Hannibal’s horror, he began to perspire, and Franklyn leaned into his personal space to see if he was “feeling up to snuff”.

“I assure you Franklyn I’m fine. However, I beg to be excused for a moment. I must make a phone call.”

Hannibal tried to exit his chair gracefully, and walk to the bathroom without clenching his fists. He held his breath until he reached the safety of a stall. He let out long, slow breaths, trying to recall the Venetian twilight and other soothing images. He banged his hand on the stall as another sharp pain ripped through him. He picked up his phone, calling Will. It went to voice mail, and Hannibal almost threw his phone into the wall. Fuck the Venetian twilight.

“William. Answer your phone. I’m not...feeling well.”

Hannibal rubbed his sweaty face and stared forlornly down at the toilet. He sighed, his fate decided. He tugged at his belt, and made to pull down his trousers. He barely had time to sit before the flood gates opened. He groaned and hung his head between his knees as he relinquished control. There were something truly unnerving about a completely liquid shit.

 

oOo

Will heard his phone ring as he rooted around in Bev’s freezer for ice cream.

“Just let it go to voice mail.” He yelled. “It’s Hannibal calling to chew me out.”

He and Bev lounged on her couch watching Animal Planet and eating crap. Bev had even unearthed a half full bottle of schnapps.

“Hurry up Graham” she bellowed. “You’re missing The Dog Whisperer” .

Will returned to Cesar Millan and a new voice mail.

“William. Answer your phone. I’m not...feeling well.”

Will frowned, curious. Hannibal’s voice was slightly strained, unusual for the perpetually Zen doctor. Will shrugged and hit the call button.

He heard ragged breath on the line and some high pitched whining.

“Hannibal? You sound like a sex line. What’s happening?”

“William. I seem to have...reacted to something I ate.” He said this with gritted teeth as he steadied himself on the the toilet paper dispenser.

“Hannibal” said Will dubious. “Are you just trying to get out of dinner with your buddy Franklyn? I saw him waddle in.”

Hannibal hung up abruptly as he heard the bathroom door creak open. He silently thanked who ever was up in the mysterious ether that the stall had thick wooden doors which reached all the way to the tastefully tiled floors.

“Dr. Lecter? It’s Franklyn. Are you alright? You’ve been in here awhile.”

Hannibal breathed in through his nose, looking at the ceiling as if cursing the gods.

“I am a bit unwell Franklyn. You may return to the table”.

“Of course not Dr. Lecter. I would’t dream of leaving! Can I ask the problem?” Franklyn sounded deeply concerned.

Hannibal opened his mouth to say something unforgiveably rude when another explosive wave gushed noisily into the toilet.

 

oOo

Will tried Hannibal back, and this time there was no answer.

“Shit Bev” he said, looking sadly at the schnapps. I think there’s something going on with Hannibal. I’d better head back to high society Hell.”

Bev raised her eyebrows and delicately shoved an entire fistful of Cheetos into her mouth.

“Well, keep me posted, and see if you can make it back for My Cat From Hell” She said with muffled indifference.

 

oOo

Will walked into the restaurant, and looked rather...under dressed. He had taken off his tie and jacket, and slipped on the pair of sweats he had left at Bev’s for some reason or another. He was immediately stopped by a host, who openly sneered at less than formal attire. Before the man could even open his mouth, he heard-

“Will!”

He looked over and saw Dr. Heinz waving at him. She was one of the only tolerable presences at the table, quiet and polite. The host looked disappointed as Will smiled at him widely before he made his way to the back of the restaurant. Dr. Heinz stood and immediately pulled him aside.

“Will, I think something is wrong with Hannibal. He’s been somewhere with that...talkative young man for quite some time. Will you check on him?” She looked with scorn at the others at the table, who were laughing and drinking and taking up space.

“Thanks Dr. Heinz. I really appreciate it.” He placed a hand on her shoulder briefly before she returned to the debauchery.

 

Will headed to the bathroom, slowly opening the door.

“Hannibal? Are you in here"?

Will could hear Hannibal’s harsh breathing coming from a stall, and was surprised to see Franklyn Friodeveaux leaning comfortably against a sink.

“Aren’t you Will?” Asked Franklyn in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

He didn’t let Will answer.

“I don’t know if you remember, but I’m a close friend of Dr. Lecter’s. I’m afraid when he’s through I’ll need to drive him home. I’m worried he’ll become dehydrated”. Franklyn spoke possessively, and decided to stand up to his full, unimpressive height.

“I remember you Franklyn. Now if you don’t mind, I’ll deal with Dr. Lecter”. Will gave a clear dismissal.

Sadly for all involved, Franklyn was not a a man to be put off easily.

“I’m not exactly sure who you think you are “Will”, but Dr. Lecter and I ...”

Franklyn was cut off by a pathetic voice from the adjacent stall.

“Will? For the love of god Will get rid of that oaf and help me.” Hannibal was past being angry. All he could think of was his own bathroom. Which was well heated and decidedly Franklyn free.

“But I...But I...” Franklyn stuttered, tears forming in his eyes.

Will gave him a single look, and the poor man hurried from the bathroom, sniffing audibly. Hannibal unlocked the stall door and stumbled out, white faced and rumpled. Will put one arm around his waist, steadying him.

“Home” was all Hannibal could say, and Will led him through the restaurant to the car.

The looks of the intoxicated group followed them, intrigued. Hannibal glanced at the restaurant as they rolled away, already writing a scathing Zagat review, and deciding on good Will’s punishment.


	7. Hickey Wars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No explanation needed. AMIRITE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've ALLL been there. Right? Anyone?

“What is that?”

Bev Katz stared at Will Graham.

“What is What?” Will was barely listening.

“That...situation on your neck.” Bev raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips.

Will looked at her, frowning.

“My tie? You don’t like it?”

“Oh. I like the tie fine. Here.” At this Bev took a compact out of her purse with a small mirror inside.

“Dammit!” Will saw the offending mark and turned a brilliant maroon.

The hickey was not small by any stretch of the imagination, and was evolving into several intriguing colors. He tried to back pedal.

“Oh, it was a dog, and I fell, and Winston...” Will trailed off stupidly.

“And Winston sucked on your neck like a horny psychiatrist?” Bev smirked.

oOo

“What the Hell? How did you...?!” Will was horrified.

“Dude. I saw you guys in your office on my lunch break. You were sucking serious face with a certain Dr. Hannibal Lecter while I was trying to eat my turkey sub. It was really distracting”. Bev shot Will a disgusted look.

“Fine. Don’t tell anyone alright? It’s kind of new and weird and his cheekbones and his suits...”  
Will blushed again. He tended to babble when caught in a lie.

“Who the Hell would I tell?” she asked incredulously. "What are friends for anyway. Just draw your blinds. I really don’t want to witness any blowies while I’m trying to eat my chili.” She pretended to puke into her mouth.

“Jesus. I’m not even going to respond to that.” Will rubbed his face in a very Will-ish manner.

oOo

“Hannibal Lecter”. Will looked over at Hannibal with a furrowed brow.

“William Graham.” Hannibal scooted closer to Will, essentially behaving like a human blanket.

“You left a giant hickey on my neck, and Beverly Katz noticed! It’s a good thing I saw her before Jack! The ones on my thighs, fine. Nipples? No big. But right on the side of my neck? It was perfectly positioned so I couldn’t see it! It’s really unprofessional!”

Will sat up and moved away from Hannibal, clearly upset.

“Well.” Hannibal seemed collected, and a little entitled.

“I am very possessive of what is mine. People need to know you aren’t for sale my dear boy. Now. My erection is becoming rather uncomfortable.” Hannibal blinked at him non-nonchalantly.

oOo

Will took care of Hannibal’s erection. In fact, they ruined two sets of sheets and Will thought he may have actually broken his pinky.

Hannibal was pliable after a good tumble, and readily agreed to having cocktails in bed. Will slipped out, and returned several minutes later with god knows what in two highball glasses. He had literally just poured shit in, with a few (5 or 6) moonshine soaked cherries for good measure. Why the doctor even had moonshine soaked cherries was a mystery in itself. A mystery for another time.

Hannibal was in some sort of orgasm induced coma, and drank the concoction down quickly. He squished the cherries between his teeth, syrupy sweetness making him slightly light headed. Will was able to easily talk him into another drink, silently triumphant. The cherries that ended up in Will’s belly button did the trick. Hannibal crawled up into Will’s arms, and passed out in a matter of seconds. Will smiled, and loomed over his lover like Nosferatu himself. The games were afoot.

oOo

Hannibal was in the morgue, leaning over the mutilated body of local newscaster. Text book stalking, blah blah blah. Jack had called him in for a consult, with Will Graham investigating a lead several hours away.

Jack walked up behind Hannibal to peek over his shoulder, and noticed something.

“Dr. Lecter. I think you’re reacting to some sort of insect bite on the back of your neck.” Jack sounded concerned. There had been reports of Brown Recluse activity in the area.

Hannibal turned his head to look at Jack.

“Insect bite?” He asked, unconcerned.

“Really Hannibal. It’s quite large. Wait...those almost look like teeth marks...” Jack trailed off with sudden realization.

Hannibal also had a realization, and gritted his teeth. He said nothing but turned to face Jack.

“Seems like a simple case of stalking. I must run. I have an appointment.”

Hannibal turned to leave when Brian Zeller, who had stood silently through the entire interaction, couldn’t help himself and yelled,

“Good for you man!”

Hannibal picked up speed and tripped over his own feet booking it back to the Bentley.


	8. An hour and a Sour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess you'll just have to take a read won't you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shitty drinks, and a butt-hole. Not the kind you think you perverts. xo

Jason had had no luck recently. “Luck”, he thought as he strolled into the bar, of course meant sex. Of any kind. Not even the occasional BJ. He was horny, and running shockingly low on lube. 

oOo

Will sat at the bar at the Waldorf Astoria Chicago, swishing around the last watery remnants of his whiskey sour. Hannibal had been pushing him to try new things. So a sour it was. He looked distastefully at the flaccid little orange slices in the bottom of his glass. He had pounded it, feeling extremely uncomfortable at the hotel bar. They (Hannibal) had decided to take a weekend away for Will’s sanity, and Hannibal’s own interest in Marc Chagall. The Chagall windows were, Hannibal said, “Absolutely Effulgent”. 

Hannibal was parking the car, and taking his sweet time getting ready for their evening out, which seemed a little pointless to Will. An evening out for Lecter and Graham typically included an indulgent dinner and a Hell of a lot of sexual experimentation. The last time they had gone out of town there had been complaints to the front desk. Will had a tendency to yell when intoxicated. All in all a pretty damn good trip.

oOo

Jason spotted the man immediately. He was sitting at the white marble bar nursing something or other, and appeared to be alone. The man had soft curling hair almost to his collar, and no ring on the hand playing with his glass. His suit fit him like a glove, and the backside on the stool was compact and tight as fuck. 

Jason was not disappointed. He approached the bar leaning over to order, and get a glimpse of the bored looking brunette to his right. Damn. Big blue eyes, strong jaw, wide sensual mouth. He was half hard thinking about those lips around the base of his own rock hard cock, clear eyes locked on his.

Jason sat down. 

“Hey”. 

The man next to him was silent, and checked the surprisingly shabby watch on his wrist. 

“I said Hey”. 

Jason nudged the man’s elbow with his own. 

“Oh.” The man looked deeply confused. “Do I know you?”

“You do not.” Jason bit an olive off the toothpick in his martini in what he thought was a sensual manner. 

“But. I would like you to”.

Jason was smug and confidant. Pretty much the definition of a self congratulatory asshole. 

Will colored and nearly spilled his drink. 

“Oh. Um, I’m sorry. I'm actually...I’m actually here with someone”. 

Will sounded young and inexperienced. Which is just how Jason liked them. 

“Well,” continued the man seated next to Will, “Let me get you a drink anyhow.”

Will had no idea what to say, and ended up with another foul smelling whiskey sour in front of him on the bar. He gulped, imagining Hannibal’s reaction to the current situation at hand. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude, but I have a boyfriend. He just seems to be taking his time”. 

Will sounded more confidant this time, and the other man’s own self-assurance seemed to falter. 

oOo

Will was again blissfully alone, wondering where in the Hell Hannibal was. The man attempting to get into Will’s jockeys had finally been dissuaded, and stalked off to pursue other prey.

Will took out his cell, and called Hannibal. It had been a good half hour. He tried the room next, and there was no answer. 

“Dammit” he thought to himself. He had pushed the whiskey sour as far away as possible without sliding it over the edge of the bar. The bartender seemed sympathetic, and offered him a smile and a double bourbon. 

Forty five minutes had passed. Will tried both the cell and room again, and nothing.

oOo

“Hey again”. 

Will glanced over and groaned audibly. 

“What exactly can I do for you.” Asked Will tersely, in what was clearly a dismissal. 

The man called Jason stroked Will’s thigh conspicuously and purred into his ear, 

“I think you know what you can do for me sugar cock. Don’t you want to give those dick sucking lips of yours a quick whirl in the bathroom?” 

It was then that Jason was hoisted into the air and thrown backward into the bar, head cracking against the edge. The bartender looked up in horror, and a bottle of vermouth crashed onto the floor. 

oOo

Parking at the Waldorf was Hell. Valet was out of commission God knows why, and Hannibal found himself circling up and down parking ramps for about 30 minutes. 

By the time he dragged himself back to the hotel he was ready to cancel the dinner reservations and feed Will strawberries in the whirlpool tub. 

He walked into the bar, feet practically dragging when he saw Will, stiff as a board, being assaulted by some...plebeian in a poorly fitted Armani suit. 

Hannibal, new energy coursing through his veins, grabbed the man by the collar, turned him around to get a good look at his doofy fucking face, and chucked him easily across the surface of the bar. 

Everyone in the room was silent, save Hannibal, who grunted loudly as he again hoisted the man up and threw him to the ground as hard as his strength would allow. 

oOo

Jason looked up horrified at the man who straddled him, with the razor sharp cheekbones and eyes as black as death itself. He started to sober up lightening fast when the first punch landed on his right cheek. White spots exploded in his vision, and his eye pulsated in its socket. 

“Hannibal! Jesus!”

Will leapt from the seat and grabbed the back of his lover’s suit jacket, pulling him off the profusely bleeding piece of shit he was currently beating to a pulp.

Hannibal breathed heavily and looked at will, murder in his eyes. 

“He...touched you.” Hannibal said nothing else as  
his jaw clenched shut. 

“Fuck! Hannibal! someone called the police!” Will looked around in alarm.

Sure enough there were sirens nearing the hotel and Hannibal glanced down at the whimpering man at his feet. 

oOo

Hannibal sat in a bar chair as the police attempted to intimidate him. “Jason”, which was apparently the man’s name, sat in a gurney outside with cotton stuffed up each nostril and an ice pack on his eye.

“You’re getting a fine” said the female in uniform. 

“The bartender informed me the man had been touching people inappropriately all night. But sir, I have also been informed that you are never to enter another Waldorf Astoria again. Despite your status here.”

The woman sounded almost amused, and held out her hand. 

Hannibal looked sheepish. That was a new one for Will. He handed her the key, and a sleek black membership card to the officer. 

oOo

Will and Hannibal walked back to the car. One of the medics had bandaged Dr. Lecter’s hand, bullying him into getting it x-rayed as soon as possible. Hannibal of course had no intention of doing so, but winced when Will brushed his hand as they walked down a dark Chicago street, street lamps and shop windows illuminated beautifully. 

“What a...chivalrous evening” giggled Will, breaking the silence. 

Hannibal pouted all the way back to the car, and was silent when they pulled into some other "less" luxurious 5 star hotel Will has suggested. Will Parked valet, and took Hannibal by his good hand. 

“Let’s get to up to the room sugar dick. I ordered strawberries.” 

Will winked, and they walked through the double doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading!!! Always open to ideas. hearts!


	9. Mephitis Mustelid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Latin "Noxious Vapors"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut. Talk of peens. Next time I promise rimming. Possibly on an airplane.

“Hey”! 

Will walked into the hallway and threw his keys at the end table and missed. He smiled, leaving them on the floor hoping for some angry sex later. Last week he purposely left hair in the shower drain. It was a good day for orgasms. 

Something was weird. At the sound of the jingling keys the dogs usually bounded over, drooling and barking and occasionally peeing. The house was silent. Will was getting slightly worried. Hannibal had a schedule. Will would walk in, with Hannibal reading on the couch. Will would annoy him some how by ruffling his hair or throwing his bag on a chair haphazardly. There was also the occasional straddling. 

Will wandered into the living and turned to the sliding glass door. 

Will gaped. 

Hannibal stood motionless, in his boxers, in the middle of the small backyard. The dogs were slinking around, licking themselves and rubbing their eyes fruitlessly with their paws. 

Will ran forward and grabbed the handle. 

“NO! Will NO”!

Hannibal held out his hand to stop him in his tracks. 

oOo

Hannibal had been pruning. He could have hired someone, but like Will, he enjoyed working with his hands. The dogs for once were somewhat calm, enjoying the cool twilight breeze. Eddie, Will’s newest stray, limped over to Hannibal and just watched him curiously. The three legged dog actually had a place in his heart, although he would never admit it. He patted Eddie, and he trotted off. 

A yelp pulled Hannibal from his thoughts, and he dropped his shears. He turned, and found himself about 6 feet away from a little, benign looking skunk. The plump little thing blinked at Hannibal. It was actually kind of cute. Hannibal stayed perfectly still, hoping the creature would waddle through on its way. 

Eddie, still trying to gain status in the pack, decided to act. He stumbled over to the skunk as fast as his remaining legs could carry him and attacked. 

Hannibal was blown back onto his ass by the stench. The dogs were running around bumping into each other crying and howling. Hannibal tried to sit up and his head spun. He immediately vomited, coating the freshly trimmed shrubs. He could barely shrug off his ruined clothes, leaving them in a heap on an unlucky bush. 

oOo

Will again grabbed the handle. Hannibal rushed forward as the door slid open.

Will stumbled backward, hitting a chair. The smell was unreal, burning his eyes and nostrils. 

“The furniture Will! The furniture!” Hannibal looked in horror at his innocent black leather chairs in the sitting room. 

Will slammed the door and coughed. 

When he finally stopped choking he began to laugh. He laughed harder than he had in years, and was rolling around on the floor like an idiot guffawing unattractively.

“Hannibal! A skunk! A fucking skunk! What did you do to piss off a skunk?”

oOo

Hannibal glared at his partner, who was practically drooling onto the carpet with mirth.

“Will!” Hannibal was enraged. “Stop that! It was your dog. Your mother...fucking...3 legged dog!”

“Hannibal Lecter.” Will feigned shock and horror.

“Did you just say fuck?” Will pursed his lips trying to hold back another outburst.

Hannibal huffed, blowing his bangs out of his eyes. 

“William. Go get my laptop. Now.”

Still laughing Will did some quick research. Hannibal had barely moved, and the dogs were sprawled on the ground panting pathetically. 

oOo

“Ok!” Will yelled through the glass.

“What did you find Will” asked Hannibal sardonically. 

He was pissed beyond reason, and really fucking cold. 

“We need hydrogen peroxide...ummm let’s see...baking soda, dish soap, and a bowl. And then you shower. Oh shit...it says don’t come inside”. 

Will’s eyes lit up, looking at Hannibal’s prone figure. 

“I have an idea. Hold on.”

oOo

 

Will ran outside, around the fence and to the back of the house. The thick green hose was coiled up against the side, and Will yanked it free. 

He then returned to the house, mixed up the solution, and put it in about 10 gallon sized ziplock bags.

He bounced back outside. 

“Hannibal, are you still there”?

“Will. Where would I go.”

“Ok I’m going to throw something over the fence. Dump in on your head. Bathe in it. Rub your fingers through your chest hair, and make sure to pinch your nipples and...”

“Will!”

“Sorry sorry. Here it comes”. 

oOo

Hannibal was soaked, and now completely nude. He smelled like a combination of skunk ass, and baking soda. His eyes still burned. The dogs were recovering, and had decided to lick his legs. 

“Hannibal. Walk over towards the fence.” Will held the hose, nozzle ready for action. 

Will could see him through the slats and squinted his eyes as he aimed. 

“Hann are you ready?”

“Will...what are you...”

Hannibal was cut off by a freezing torrent of water shooting through, and over the top of the fence.

 

oOo

 

Hannibal leapt backward, swearing in Lithuanian. His balls were desperately trying to crawl their way back into his body.

“Will! For the love of fuck stop! Stop!”

Will jumped up and down and clapped his hands like a girl scout watching Hannibal’s reaction to the frigid water. He ran inside to check the lap top. 

“Alright. You’re safe. Meet me in the mud room.”

oOo

Will knew he was in for it. He was half- hard already. 

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing to be overwhelmed by the support and comments from readers. It always makes my day.


	10. Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone has a boner for Professor Will Graham. Dr. Hannibal Lecter is not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, c'mon. Who DOESN'T have a Graham boner.

Will’s glasses were slipping down his nose by the end of the lecture. He ran his hands through his curls before packing up his leather bag. He was in no mood for organization. He shoved the papers in haphazardly, and snapped it closed. The end of the semester was a few hours away, and he just wanted to bolt from the building and speed to Hannibal’s comfy couch and blazing fireplace. 

“Um, Professor Graham?”

A small voice echoed throughout the classroom and Will turned around. 

A student stood before him, in the matching Khakis and Polo all trainees donned. She was a blonde, that Will assumed was in his class. Jack was right. He needed more office hours.

“Can I help you?” asked Will, briefly making eye contact with the young woman.

“Oh! just wanted to make sure you were going to the end of semester outing tomorrow.” She fluttered her long eyelashes at him. 

Will peeped at her again, and immediately interpreted her body language. Her Head was cocked at a flattering angle, and she twirled a piece of long yellow hair. Her chest was thrust out slightly, which emphasized some very perky breasts. He sighed. 

oOo

“I think one of my students has a crush on me.” Will was lounging at the table, eating bacon enthusiastically. 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full William.” Hannibal was playfully terse.

“And why do you think this person has a “crush”? 

Hannibal was suddenly in psychiatrist mode. 

“Well, Dr. Lecter.” Said Will playfully. “Her shirt was about 3 sizes to small, and when she bent over in front of me I could practically see her areolas.” 

“It does indeed sound like she’s attracted to you. How shall you proceed?” Hannibal tried to look nonchalant. 

At this Will sauntered over and put his arms around his Partner’s waist, nuzzling the back of his neck. 

“What do you advise doctor? I’m at your disposal”. 

Will began to grind against him softly. 

Hannibal took a deep breathe. The tip of his cock was smashed against the marble of the counter top. It was marvelously uncomfortable. 

oOo

 

Tara Sellers would have Will Graham. The young Professor would be screaming her name by the end of the night if she had her way. And she ALWAYS had her way. She thought the discussion after class had gone well, and she was pretty sure one of her nips escaped the confines of her shirt when she bent over to grab the pencil she “dropped”. She was looking forward to the end of semester outing. A few glasses of bourbon and she would be riding him like a stallion. 

oOo

The outing was always at the same bar, with supposedly the best Margaritas in the city. Hannibal was of course Will's plus one. Hannibal, however, was late. And Hannibal was never late. Will checked his watch again, and sure enough, it was half past 8. 

Will had called Hannibal’s cell several times, and sent a few desperate texts. Desperate evolved into angry as Will sat nursing his third Margarita. If Hannibal didn’t arrive soon he’d be Ubering home. 

“Professor!” 

A group of trainees stood at the bar, and one young man bellowed at him. 

Will waved awkwardly, and the group began to beckon him over in a friendly fashion. Will decided to get the eventual greeting over with and slouched to the bar. Yup. Definitely well on his way to pretty damn tipsy. He even grinned at the group as he reached them, and someone or other slapped him on the back. 

“Shot Professor?”

Will turned to find the same young woman...Tara something...holding out a shot glass to him. Will, thinking about Hannibal, took the shot in his hand. Hannibal hated it when Will got drunk. This usually led to broken crystal, or an abused Amazon Prime account. During their last anniversary, Will had polished off a bottle of Sauternes and they ended up with 4 alpaca-hair dog beds and a set of Lord of The Rings limited edition pint glasses. Hannibal disabled “one-click shopping” the next morning while Will was puking in the shower.

Will threw the shot back to cheering voices, and slammed the glass down on the bar. 

oOo

Hannibal had tried to rush. This, unfortunately, let to a small misstep on the pavement and his phone in a puddle. His last patient ran long, and by the time he tried to contact Will from his office his phone went straight to voice-mail. 

Hannibal checked his watch for the umpteenth time. I was already 8:30. He frowned picturing his emotionally fragile lover huddled in the corner of a noisy bar, sweating through his shirt.

Hannibal pulled up to the bar at 9:30. He was an unforgivable 60 minutes late. He stepped inside, wrinkling his nose at the smell. He looked around for Will, who was nowhere to be seen. He must have gone home. Hannibal would be sleeping on the couch for at least a night. Or in one of the alpaca dog beds. He turned to leave when--

“Hannibal!”

Hannibal, completely thrown off his game, spun around clumsily. Will held a gigantic blue drink in his hand, with a tiny umbrella tucked behind his ear. Will Graham was in the middle of a group of trainees swaying on his feet. His jacket and tie were god knows where and a young woman next him was....

No. Hannibal was seeing things. 

Hannibal’s cheeks turned scarlet when the blonde snaked an arm around Will's wait possessively and pressed her hip up against his. 

Hannibal was at Will’s side in half a second. He “accidentally” bumped Tara out of way. She yelped as she slipped in a puddle of tequila. The large beverage she was holding slopped onto her shirt and pants. No one noticed her ass hit the floor with a quiet "splat". 

“Hey, what the Hell man...”

Tara stopped. 

The tall, graying man in the ridiculous suit grabbed the young professor into a fierce embrace and began to kiss him aggressively. 

The group began to whistle and hoot as Will, instead of pulling away, began to enthusiastically return the kiss. Tara, who stood soaked and pouting at the edge of the circle stomped away. 

oOo

Will pulled back, and grabbed Hannibal’s lapels to steady himself. He smiled up sleepily at him, gaze unsteady. 

“Why doctor Lecter” Will slurred, hiccuping. “Are you jealous?”

Hannibal, instead of dragging Will from the establishment, ordered 2 more margaritas and grabbed Will’s ass. 

The trainees cheered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. MORE TO COME.


	11. Crush Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a Will gets owned chapter. I'm giving Hanni a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light discussion of spanking. You're welcome.

Jimmy had broken both his arms in a motorcycle accident. Which is why you don’t accept rides home with hot guys on bikes. Luckily they were going at like 7 miles an hour. 

Road rash or not, the team was short a set of hands. They filled the space relatively quickly, forensics graduates all jumping over themselves for a job at the BAU. Even a short term one. 

Adrian was about 6‘4, and defined as fuck. Bev looked him up and down so obviously Jack thought they were going to get slapped with a sexual harassment suit. He was also annoying, and talked constantly about his life, education, and conquests (which were MOSTLY with women. Wink). Unfortunately, he was one of the most promising young forensics graduates in the state. The team admitted he was useful. Even Will Graham huffed and nodded when “A” made a particularly insightful point. 

oOo

Hannibal rushed in, shedding his outer layers until he was in a dress shirt and snug vest. Snug in the best possible way thought Will, as he arrived. 

“I apologize for my lateness.” Hannibal offered Jack his hand. “I had a rather...uncouth patient. Ah. Hello Will.”

He walked over to Will and noticed the new face. Adrian took one look at him and knew immediately who his next brash sex story would be about. 

“Adrian Bask”. He said, beaming as he shook Hannibal’s hand. “People call me “A”. 

“A pleasure Adrian.” Returned Hannibal, eyebrows rising slightly in surprise. Adrian had yet to release him from a firm grasp. Hannibal stepped back and pulled his hand away. Adrian then looked Hannibal head to toe, settling on his crotch for a long second. Only Will noticed, and narrowed his eyes. 

Jack frowned. “Uncouth patient Dr. Lecter? Anything you need our help with?”

“Oh no Jack. Some patients become...attached. I had a particularly...clingy one today, as some would say.” Hannibal smiled slightly. 

“Well who could blame them?” Declared Adrian, nodding at Hannibal. His hands were currently full of finger nail clippings and eye lashes. 

The entire team went silent and looked at Will. Bev was holding in a laugh and Jack cleared his throat. 

“Well. Lets get back to business”. 

oOo

“Could you believe that meat-head asshole today? He essentially eye fucked you in front of the entire team.”

Will was chopping vegetables angrily at the counter. 

Hannibal, oblivious, glanced at Will confused. 

“Adrian. He hit on you.”

Hannibal continued to look unsure. 

“Adrian! You know, the 7 foot tall quarterback who replaced Jimmy? The same guy who looked at your crotch for like 10 minutes?” 

“Oh Will. I do enjoy when you’re jealous. But I’m sure he was just being friendly. A tad over eager maybe”. Hannibal went back to his own cutting board. 

“I wasn’t jealous Hannibal!” Continued Will, roughly sweeping curling carrot scraps into the trash. 

“I was offended! His behavior has no....propriety.” 

Hannibal actually threw his head back and laughed, sound bouncing off the kitchen’s high ceiling. 

“Propriety?” Asked Hannibal, barely able to form words. 

Will grumbled something and grabbed another carrot. 

oOo

The team usually went somewhere Friday for drinks. The places varied, but they were always below Hannibal’s standards. Will had no plan to go, until Hannibal invited him one afternoon in his lecture hall. 

“Why on Earth do you want to go?” Will lounged at his desk chair, incredulous. A few of the ballsy-er students trickled out, wanting to get a peek at Will Graham and his delicious sugar daddy. 

“I happen to owe Jack a drink. As he is attending tonight’s gathering it would be prudent to meet him there.” Hannibal answered calmly.

“You owe him a drink?” Will asked, and sent an evil look to the last of the students. They scampered out. 

“We made a small wager on a case.” Hannibal looked at his nails, almost bored. 

“Um. Alright.” Will was surprised. He could use a drink anyhow. Adrian had been looming over everyone else all week, laughing at his own stupid jokes. Will also couldn’t forget his meandering look at Hannibal’s man-parts. Those parts were for his use, and his use alone. 

oOo

The bar was just as vulgar as any bar Beverly chose. Hannibal strode in ahead of Will, ready to make good on his wager and get home. Will sighed in relief. He wanted to grab a drink, and stick his face between Hannibal’s ass cheeks for a good half hour. 

“Hey guys!” 

Will groaned. Adrian was at the bar, holding shots and towering over everyone else.  
Hannibal smiled politely and Will growled, a primal beast protecting his mate. When they got close enough, Adrian grabbed them both by the hands and yanked them to the bar. 

“First rounds’ on me!” He let go of Will’s hand immediately, but kept his own massive palm on top of Hannibal’s for a beat longer. Hannibal didn’t seem to notice, and ordered a glass of red wine. Will ordered a triple whiskey, hoping to piss of the newbie. Adrian didn’t even seem to hear the order. 

“So, Dr. Lecter! I never heard what you did at the BAU?” He asked, ignoring Will entirely. 

“Oh." Said Hannibal, bringing the mediocre glass of wine to his nose. “I’m simply a consultant. I’m a mild-mannered psychiatrist in my real life”. Will rolled his eyes. 

Adrian laughed too hard at this, and continued to engage Hannibal in conversation. Bev began to ask Will about his dogs and he was momentarily distracted. She was dog sitting next week when he and Hannibal jetted off to Paris. 

oOo

Several (more) fingers of whiskey later, Will found himself at the urinal. He was finishing up when Adrian stumbled in. 

“Phew bro!” He slurred, clapping Will on the shoulder. Will jerked away conspicuously. 

Adrian was completely oblivious and continued. 

“Dr. Lecter huh?” Adrian said as he began to undo his pants. 

“Excuse me? Will turned away from the urinal. 

“You know. Hannibal. Hot right? I’m at LEAST getting a b.j. tonight.”

With a strangled cry, Will attacked the much larger man like a Puma, pushing him into the stall. 

“What? Bro I...”

Will straddled him, striking him repeatedly in the face. Adrian, unsure how to proceed, held his hands in front of him in supplication. 

“Listen, Will, I don’t know what’s up with you man. Let’s talk it out alright?” Adrian looked pleadingly up at the ex-cop, and caused Will to hesitate. Adrian took his chance. 

Will was on his back in a second with Adrian on top of him, hand around his neck and fist punching his face. Will fought back and the two men rolled around on the floor until the shouts and a shattering mirror caused Jack to come sprinting in. 

“Will Graham!” Jack yelled, and stepped in to pull Will off of Adrian, who was bleeding profusely from one eye brow and sported a split lip.

Will struggled slightly, and wiped his bleeding nose on his sleeve. His corduroy jacket would be ruined, he thought briefly. Hannibal would be delighted.

“William!”

Hannibal had joined them, and grabbed Will roughly by the shoulders. 

“Will! Will talk to me! What did he do to you?” 

Adrian let Jack pull him to his feet. 

“What I did to him? That asshole attacked me!” Adrian pointed at Will, accusatory.

Hannibal, inspecting Will’s nose, stepped back. 

“Is this true Will.” 

Will felt like he was in the principle’s office. 

“Well, yeah. I mean yes.” 

Hannibal, stony faced, continued his line of questioning.

“And may I be so bold to ask what caused this outburst?” 

Jack was looking back and forth, feeling quite literally stuck in the middle. 

Will hesitated. 

“Will!” Jack was enraged, holding Adrian upright, and hoping desperately the young man wouldn’t press charges. 

“He said..." Will gulped. “He said Hannibal was going to give him. Um. A sexual favor.”

Jack groaned aloud, his eyes rolled back in disgust. He would be scarred for life most likely. Best scenario he'd block out the entire thing. Please God.

Will glanced at Hannibal, whose face was blank. 

Jack looked at Will. 

“I expect an apology Graham. Written. By Monday.” Jack led Adrian from the bathroom, whispering soothing things and holding a paper towel to his bloody face.

“Well?” Will turned to Hannibal. “Am I in trouble?”

Hannibal stared at him for a moment before grabbing him by the front of his shirt. He put his lips next to Will’s ear. 

“You are indeed my dear boy. And I believe you deserve a good spanking.”

Will’s eyes widened, and his cock mumbled in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying dear readers! I have to thank @Divine_shot for this idea. MORE MORE MORE.


	12. Fucking Franklyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Hanni. Franklyn is handsy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this restaurant is a real place. I did research. Feel free to praise me. 
> 
> This is a short little ditty. Barely a chapter.

“Good evening Franklyn”. 

Hannibal gestured to the chair opposite his seat. His last appointment had been over an hour ago, and he was finishing up some necessary doctor-y paperwork.

“Thanks for seeing me doctor! I brought you something.” 

Franklyn could barely contain himself, his cheeks pink and neck flushed. 

“Franklyn. We’ve discussed this. It is highly unprofessional for me to accept gifts from patients.”

Hannibal tried to hide his annoyance, but even he wasn’t strong enough to manage. He gritted his teeth until his temples throbbed. He would have a headache tonight, and Will was out of town. 

Franklyn stood up and fumbled around in his bag. He pulled out a package wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine. There was an embellished card on the front that read, 

“To my good friend Hannibal. Franklyn Froideveaux.”

Hannibal sighed audibly.

Within the package was a beautiful leather journal. There was a small blue stone set in the middle, and in the upper right hand corner were the embossed letters “HL”.

Franklyn didn’t wait for a response. 

“I didn’t know your middle name. I hope that’s alright.”

Franklyn held his tongue between in his teeth, and waited for the doctor’s reaction. 

“This is very thoughtful Franklyn. Thank you.” Was all Hannibal could manage.

It was an admittedly lovely journal, supple leather, and the stone a tasteful addition. 

There was silence for a moment, as Franklyn beamed at Hannibal, a drooling overeager puppy. 

“Well, I’ll get out of your way” he said eventually. 

He turned to leave, and just as Hannibal had begun to breathe normally , Franklyn turned back. 

“Dr. Lecter! How could I have forgotten. I have a reservation at The Thames Street Oyster House this evening at 9. My mother had to cancel. Would you care to accompany me?”

Hannibal’s stomach growled audibly. He loved oysters. He was never able to enjoy them with Will, who described them as “giant boogers.” Even the smell made Will leave the house. He wouldn’t kiss Hannibal for days, and even bjs were out of the question. Something about the taste, blah blah blah.

He weighed his options. Will was out of town. He could block out Franklyn for a few hours couldn’t he? For Thames?

He barely recognized his own voice as he answered, 

“That is very generous. I would enjoy your company for the evening.”

Hannibal rolled his eyes internally, and hoped they were seated in a corner. 

oOo

 

Somehow, Franklyn had managed to get decent seating. The server came over and filled their water glasses. Menus were laid in front of them, and she recited the specials expertly. 

Hannibal opened his mouth to order wine when Franklyn stepped in. 

“We’d like a bottle of the Château de L'Oiselinière please.” He then whispered loudly,

“It’s on me” followed by a wink. 

The server smiled at them warmly and Hannibal entertained the thought of walking into traffic.  
Although he had to admit, the Château de L'Oiselinière was an excellent choice. 

oOo

Before Hannibal knew what was happening, Franklyn was joining him in a cab. He really had no recollection where his patient lived, and assumed it was on the way. The alcohol was making his head swim. The second bottle of wine, he reflected, was not his best decision.

The two men had polished off 2 bottles of wine, and coffee spiked with...something expensive. Hannibal couldn’t remember. The oysters had tasted stale in Franklyn’s company, the man rambling on about artisan cheese. 

Franklyn’s house was absolutely NOT on the way. Hannibal paid the fare and exited the cab, feeling lightheaded. What a waste of oysters. The cab sped away, and Franklyn stood on the other side of the street, grinning like an idiot. 

“Franklyn. I’m sorry, I can call the cab back.” Hannibal pulled out his phone, confused as to why he was standing outside his home with Franklyn Froideveaux.

“No Hannibal. I was hoping to come in for a nightcap.” At this bold speech Franklyn descended on Hannibal, taking his hand. 

Hannibal caught on quickly and yanked his hand away. Franklyn grabbed at it again and Hannibal stumbled.

oOo

As it turned out, Jack’s case was wrapped up in all of 24 hours, and Will Graham was released 2 days early. He stopped home to greet the dogs, and jumped in his car to head out. He carried a small gift from Texas. A tacky one, of course. He loved the look on Hannibal’s face when he put another horrifying magnet on his spotless fridge. 

He was edging closer to Hannibal’s house, when he saw two forms standing in the road, suspiciously close together. He screeched to a stop and leaped from the car. 

“Hannibal! What the fuck!” Will stomped towards them, catching Hannibal as he stumbled back.  
“Will! Oh Will! Thank god!” Hannibal cried and jumped at Will, who instinctively opened his arms. 

“Will, we went to Thames, and Franklyn, and he, and I, and wine...” Hannibal trailed off as Franklyn interrupted. 

“Can I ask who you are sir?” Franklyn puffed out his chest. 

“Who am I?” repeated Will. “I’m Hannibal’s boyfriend.” 

Franklyn was incredulous. 

“But...but...he paid for dinner...”

“I don’t give a flying fuck if he paid for your college tuition! Get out of here before I call the cops.” 

Will momentarily forgot about the badge in his pocket. 

“Will!” whispered Hannibal. “Your badge you dummy”. 

Will wanted to snicker at the Hannibal’s use of the word “dummy”.

He flashed his wallet in a moment, and Franklyn, mouth open, walked quickly down the dark sidewalk. 

“Hannibal. What on earth is going on.” 

Hannibal straightened up. 

“Will, it was terrible.” 

At this short speech, Hannibal looked at Will, eyes bulging, and began to projectile vomit $300 worth of seafood onto the street.

“Oh god!” 

Will jumped back, trying to avoid the geyser of brine. 

When he was finally through, Hannibal passed out right there, face pressed into the sidewalk. Will squatted down and felt the man’s forehead. He would live. 

Will sighed, and pulled out his phone. He snapped a quick picture before calling Beverly for back-up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stop with the Franklyn fics. Any ideas? LOVE YOU MEAN IT.


	13. Poor Jack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack stumbles upon a disgusting display.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack Crawford. Not anyone's bff. But...still. Poor Fucking Jack

Bella Crawford grasped Will Graham’s sweaty hand, dragging him into the gallery. He looked like a sullen dog on a leash, minus the panting. 

Since he began at the BAU, New Years had been a fucking nightmare. He used to spend it in Wolf Trap, with his dogs and Ryan Seacrest. Occasionally Winston would end wearing a hat, the only dog who would allow it. 

For several years now Jack had insisted he attend the annual New Years bash, all Bella’s planning. He liked Bella, with her dry sense of humor and soft laughter. She was very unlike the tenacious and loud Jack. 

Will looked around him, and had to admit the setting was lovely. Intimate art gallery, with soft track lighting illuminating strange, colorful canvases. 

“Will!” Jack began bellowing over the din of the crowd. 

“Will. So glad you could make it”. Jack smiled, sipping champagne. 

“Glad I could make it? You said if I didn’t show up you were going to have my balls”. Will said, rolling his eyes. 

Bella, disgusted, left with a murderous look at her husband, and strolled elegantly into the crowd.  
Jack threw his arm around the sulking Will companionably. 

“C’mon Will. Bev is here. Oh! And Doctor Lecter has made an appearance.” Proclaimed Jack, accidentally dipping his tie in champagne. Will decided not to alert him. 

 

“Hannibal is here?” asked Will slightly confused. 

“First name basis huh?” Jack hiccuped wetly. 

Will blushed. He and Hannibal were friends, he supposed. 

“Is he uh...is he around?”

Will tried to sound non-chalant and failed miserably. 

Jack waved behind him, thankfully too interested in the Hors d'oeuvres to notice Will’s wavering tone. 

“Pick a table Will!” Jack slapped him on the back. “Bars’ in the corner”. 

Jack ambled off, large and gregarious as always. 

Will hit the bar first, finding a glass of something not carbonated. The whiskey warmed his limbs, and he searched for an empty table. 

oOo

Will sat in the corner, looking like a kid in detention. He was on his 6th finger, and was beginning to feel drowsy. He would have to Uber home. Or ask Bev for a ride. Although at the moment, she seemed to be taking shots out of Zeller’s belly button. 

Will was sitting, bored, watching a blonde bombshell of a cougar wave her tits in the mayor’s face. 

“Will!” exclaimed an accented voice.

Hannibal sat down next to him, brushing his hand. 

“Hannibal!” 

Will grinned, touching his shoulder. Hannibal raised an eyebrow at this uncharacteristic attention. There were several empty glasses on the younger man’s table, and no food in sight. 

“I’ve been looking for you Will. I was distracted by...” 

Here Hannibal eyed the same blonde woman conspicuously, who was now waving a hand at him salaciously. 

Will laughed brightly, and took another small sip of some horrifying cocktail with an umbrella. 

Hannibal eyed it dubiously. 

“I have Jack to thank for this one” Said Will. “Here. Have a sip. You’ll regret it immediately”. 

Will shoved the glass at Hannibal, who was practically giddy with Will’s change in demeanor. Is this what his therapy had been lacking? Drinks made with kool-aid? 

He took a sip, and grimaced. 

“Well.” Said Hannibal, looking down into the drink, a sad shriveled strawberry floating at the top. “I think one more won’t kill us”. 

Will laughed and headed to the bar. 

oOo

One more didn’t kill them, but Jack Crawford sure came close. 

Bella wandered over to find Will and stopped abruptly. 

Hannibal’s tie was around Will’s neck. Will’s shoes were on the table, and the two grown men were making out like horny seniors at Prom. 

Bella made a quick exit to find her husband, who had thankfully sobered up. 

“Jack!” She whisper-yelled, grabbing him by the sleeve. 

“What’s wrong?” 

He was confused by the shocked look on Bella’s usually composed face. 

She led him to the corner, trying to be stealthy. No one was looking. So far so good. 

Jack practically fell over at the sight before him. 

At this point Will had been able to get one shoe on at least, but the tie was no where in sight. 

“What in the holy FUCK is going on here??” Jack bellowed. 

Unfortunately, this outburst earned the attention of the entire room. 

Everyone was pretty far gone, but Bev Katz had her phone out in a hot second, snapping continuous photos of the 2 handsy men in the corner. Many followed suit, and Bella massaged her temples. She could practically hear Facebook explode. 

oOo

It took Will and Hannibal a moment to realize Jack’s voice was directed at them, and they jumped apart, looking around dimly. 

“Hey Jack.” Was Will’s response, as he waved at Bev. 

“Hey yourself...” answered Jack loudly, eyebrows up so high they looked like they were about to slither off his face. 

Hannibal at this point had turned around, and attempted to remain polite and aloof. 

“Ah Jack. Bella. This has been a lovely soiree”. 

He raised a tiny umbrella at them, in some sort of toast. 

 

Jack covered his face with his hands, a sudden headache working its way into his his frontal lobe. He was completely, and thoroughly grossed out. For want of a better word. 

Will began to stand up, and in doing so, revealed a full out boner. 

“Jesus Christ Will! dump some ice on that thing”!

Bella, at this point, was laughing into her hand, and Bev had snuck up behind her. A picture of Will Graham’s raging erection was great black mail material. 

“Alright. Alright. We have the get them home before someone ejaculates.”

“Jack” said Will, weaving back and forth. “It’s too late for that”. 

Hannibal cackled and leaned over onto Will’s shoulder. Jack felt bile rise into his throat while Bev completely lost her shit behind them. 

“Will Graham. I’m driving you home. You too Lecter.” 

Jack began to gather their belongings, which included a single shoe, and tie covered in God knows what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIIIIIGHT


	14. An eye for an eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Will. Poor Hanni.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GRAPHIC descriptions of eye infections. Gird your loins.

Will’s thighs clenched around Hannibal’s ears as he came. His knees were over Hannibal’s shoulders, lifting his ass high off the bed and into his partner’s face.

“Ugh! Hannibal! I got my own jizz in my eyes”.

“What?” Hannibal was still stuck between Wills legs, face sort of clapped between his butt-cheeks. 

Will sat up quickly, swinging his legs off of Hannibal’s shoulders. He began to rub at his eyes gingerly. 

“I have JIZZ in my eyes.” 

“Don’t be so dramatic William. You’ll be fine. Now get over here. My cock is about to blast off like Apollo 13.” 

oOo

Will awoke with a groan, the room still dark. He opened his eyes to look at the alarm clock on his bedside table. At least, he tried his best. 

His eyelids, as it turned out, were crustily fused together. 

“FUCK”. Will sat up and began to pick frantically at his face. 

“Whasss wrong” mumbled Hannibal, rolling over to look at Will. 

“MY FUCKING EYES. LOOK AT MY FUCKING EYES.” Will had finally picked off enough flaky shit to look around blurrily. 

“Well, I can’t see much in this light.” Was all Hannibal could say, not accustomed to 4am like his fisherman boyfriend. “Go to the bathroom. I’ll be back with a hot compress.” Hannibal wandered off off towards the kitchen.

“I thought only little kids got pink eye!” Will yelled, sitting on the side of the bed searching for his slippers. 

Hannibal didn’t hear, or more than likely was ignoring him. Will grumbled and shuffled off to the bathroom.

He flipped on the light and turned towards the mirror. 

“SWEET JESUS!” He yelled, and actually jumped a foot back from the sink. 

“Will!. Will?” Hannibal ran to the bathroom, suddenly concerned. 

The whites of Will’s eyes were blood red, at least, what you could see of them. His eyelids were almost swollen shut, and were actively oozing something horrifying and vaguely green. 

“Will. Will. Calm down.” Hannibal’s own eyes were bugging out of his skull. He was a man who was rarely shocked, and was happy in the moment Will couldn’t see his appalled expression. 

“Calm down!?” Will was irate. “Are you kidding Hannibal? I look like one of those things!” He exclaimed, looking back in the mirror. It was worse than he remembered. 

“What kind of what things?” asked Hannibal, staying as far away from Will as possible.

“Goddammit you know! They make those fucking holes. I can’t think of the fucking word!” 

“Oh.” said Hannibal with realization. “Moles”. 

“Yes Moles. NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?” 

Hannibal gulped and moved towards Will with the damp washcloth in his hand. He gently set it on Will’s face and thought. 

“It looks like more than a simple case of conjunctivitis, which will usually resolve in a few days with the help of an antibiotic eye drop.” 

“Thanks Hannibal. Thanks for telling me what I DON’T have.” Will was fuming, his eyes on fire. 

“Will. We need to get you to urgent care. I’m worried about your vision being permanently damaged.” 

oOo

The waiting room at the ED was thankfully empty, 5:00 am not a hugely popular time for broken arms and cut fingers. 

At this point Will could barely see, and opening his eyes felt like being stabbed by needles. Hannibal sat with his hand on his lover’s hunched shoulders. 

“William Graham”. 

A voice called Will’s name, and Hannibal led him to a small triage room in the corner. Will kept his face covered, pretty sure the fluorescent lighting would make his face explode. The nurse barely paid attention to the 2 men, and took Will’s vitals. 

“So Mr. Graham” he began. “How can we help you.” The nurse sounded spent, exhausted, and ready to hand these fuckers off to the AM shift. 

“Will. We need to remove the washcloth.” Hannibal squeezed Will’s thigh in reassurance, as his partner’s hands were still clamped to his face. Will removed the cloth and moaned in pain as the light hit his lids. 

The nurse turned and dropped his blood pressure cuff. 

The man’s eyes were completely hidden by swollen, encrusted lids. He looked like a fucking horror movie. The nurse cursed under his breath, and looked at Hannibal. 

“We need to get him back right now. Has he been handling any chemicals the last 24 hours?” The nurse sounded rushed now, grabbing a wheel chair. 

“I don’t think so. Will. Will?” Will was now seated in the wheelchair, groaning. 

“My faaaacccceee....” He moaned. 

Hannibal knelt down. 

“Will. Have you handled any chemicals in the last 24 hours.” Hannibal’s budding concern was in full force, as he put his hands on Will’s flushed cheeks.

“UGH no. No fucking chemicals.” Answered Will, aggravated and in pain. He was then carefully but speedily rolled back to a room.

oOo

The doctor swept in quickly. 

“William Graham.”

The doctor looked at Will’s chart and then glanced at Hannibal. He did a double take. 

“Hannibal Lecter!” The doctor beamed at him. 

“Ah. Hello Angus.” Hannibal nodded politely, and mentally rolled his eyes. Angus was a member of the Baltimore Symphonic society, and a shameless gossip. 

Hannibal could already tell the cogs in Angus’s mind were turning. He was finally getting a glimpse of Hannibal Lecter and his FBI profiler boy toy. 

Angus turned his attention towards Will, who’s arms were over his head protectively. 

“How can we help you today Mr. Graham?’ Angus sat in the chair on the other side of the bed.

“My fucking eyes! I can’t fucking see! Fucking hurts!” Will could barely spit out the obscenities. 

At this point he slowly raised his head, angling it towards the sound of the doctor’s overly cheerful voice. 

“Oh my god.“ Angus could only stare at the sad state before him. 

Hannibal filled the shocked silence. 

“He says he’s handled no chemicals, or dangerous objects in the last 24 hours. He woke up like this.” 

“Well. Good gracious Mr.Graham. You definitely have an eye infection of some sort. As you know Hannibal, usually these acute reactions are caused by something actually getting in the eye. Are you sure you can’t think of anything he might have been exposed to?’ 

There was a beat of silence and then, 

“THE JIZZ HANNIBAL. THE JIZZ! YOU SAID IT WOULD BE FINE WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DOCTOR” Will spewed, enraged.

Hannibal closed his own eyes and sighed, feeling a rare flush creeping up his throat. 

Angus took a few steps back from the now crying man. 

“Semen” was all Hannibal said. 

“FUCKING-A HANNIBAL.” Was all Will could get out. 

Angus cleared his throat.

“Well, semen has been known to transfer infection from one body or another, even through the eyes.” 

“IT WAS MY OWN FUCKING JIZZ”. Will was moaning at this point. Angus hit the call button, and a nurse bustled in. 

“Jeff, we need morphine.” Will sobbed in relief.

Angus looked at Hannibal tight lipped. Hannibal could see it was the best day of his fucking life.


	15. Home is where the janitor's closet is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take a wild guess fam. Take a wild guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will is such a shit.

Will dragged Hannibal down the empty corridor. It was dingy and rarely used, a few old offices tucked away at the end. The florescents flickered sadly, and the flustered scuffling of the handsy men echoed throughout the hallway. 

Will pulled Hannibal into a tiny janitor’s closet near the bathrooms. The door snapped shut behind them and Will attacked Hannibal’s neck nibbling like and evil little succubus. 

Hannibal began to unbutton Will’s plaid shirt, wincing at the faded pattern. 

“Ohhhhhhhhh!” groaned Will, already hard and out of control. 

“William!” Hannibal snapped, stepping backwards into a large bucket. 

“We can’t keep this up unless you shut up!” Hannibal seemed genuinely angry. 

“Ha!” Will’s laugh was clear and loud. “You just said shut up! Dr. Lecter. I am disappointed in you.”

“Shut up” Hannibal hissed, suddenly ravenous and horny as Hell at Will’s blatant disobedience. 

“Mmm daddy” moaned Will. 

Hannibal clapped his hand over Will’s mouth. Will hummed from behind his palm and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. 

“William. You know I hate that word.” reprimanded Hannibal, hands now groping Will’s backside. 

“Oh. I know. Daddy.” Will grinned as Hannibal slipped a knee between his legs. 

“Oh God!” rose from his lips as Hannibal began to tickle Will’s nipples with the tip of his tongue. 

“When did you become such a exhibitionist Mr. Graham.” Hannibal inquired. Although he had to admit his cock was now complaining as loud as Will. 

“Since I started dating my sexy as fuck cradle robbing sugar daddy.” 

Hannibal took this as an invitation and slipped his hand down the front of Will’s boxers. He pumped him mercilessly and in no time at all, Will shuddered violently into Hannibal’s fist with a resounding-

“FUCK YES DADDY”. 

At these words Hannibal came, shouting Will’s name with reverence. Hannibal panted, suddenly feeling defeated. 

“I win” whispered Will into Hannibal’s ear. 

oOo

Bev had a secret. A dirty, filthy secret. She sneaked away during lunch, leaving Jack to argue with Zeller about some fucking thing. 

She took the elevator down the lower level. She found her preferred hallway and snuck down towards the bathroom. The lights were blinking on and off ominously. But Bev felt brave with the pack of lucky strikes now in her hand. She knew smoking was terrible, but found herself once or twice a week in the little bathroom downstairs, puffing away like a high-schooler in a cubicle. 

A sudden noise made her jump. She crushed the cigs in her hand as a life line. It really was creepy down here.

She turned towards the noise. It sounded like someone was in trouble. There was whining and mewling. Could it be a trapped animal? She turned a corner and heard muffled noises coming from what she assumed was a utility closet off to her right. 

She pressed her ear against the door. She was on the verge of turning the handle when-

“FUCK YES DADDY” crescendo-ed from inside the closet. 

She stumbled back, a hand over her mouth. She recognized that voice. She stood frozen outside the door, unsure whether to puke in her mouth or laugh hysterically. 

She backed away from the offending room, taking her cell from her pocket. She started to dial Zeller when 

“WILL!” was screamed out enthusiastically.There was no mistaking the thick accent. 

She pressed dial. “Zeller. You will not fucking believe this.”

oOo

Will and Hannibal had successfully extracted themselves from the closet, several spiders crawling out to freedom behind them. They crept back up to Jack’s office, looking more or less put together. 

“Hello boys” greeted Jack. He looked odd. Something was off. Will squinted at him. Was that amusement? Jack was rarely, if ever, amused.

“We’re just waiting on Bev.” He smiled at them, eyes flashing with mischief.

“Not a problem” answered Hannibal, moving away from Will to sit on the couch in the corner. 

The glass doors opened and Bev walked in. Jack glanced at her deviously.

Bev sat next to Hannibal.

“Will”. Began Jack. “I want your opinion”. He handed Will a case file. 

He then continued, now turning towards Hannibal.

“And thank you so much for coming in Daddy. I’d love your input as well”. 

Bev dissolved into giggles as Hannibal straightened up and walked stiffly from the room, dragging Will out by the sleeve. 

The peals of laughter followed them down the hall. Will had been a naughty, naughty boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're welcome. I love you. Stop by any time <3


	16. Apple-tini

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, ok. I know I've done drunk Hanni before but...I can't stop. Please forgive me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Willy.

Will was lounging, celebrating his freedom and eating a meatball sub on Hannibal’s favorite leather sofa. Although, he supposed, it was their sofa now. So really, he could smear marinara all over it if he felt the urge. He didn’t, but he might. One day. 

Hannibal would be out late. Probably 11 or 12. He was meeting a few colleagues for dinner and drinks somewhere pretentious. Will had feigned sadness when Hannibal asked permission to skip their usual Friday night fuck-fest. In reality, he was already imagining himself in only boxers and socks eating something sinful and messy in front of the TV. 

Will was doing just that. He had a glass of whiskey balanced precariously on his chest, and the empty sub wrapper was balled up on the counter. Hannibal would have been fucking livid. Will grinned, feeling naughty and bold. Maybe he should masturbate in Hannibal’s closet. Into an Armani sock.

oOo

Will was jerked awake by an unidentified sound. He looked at his watch. It was 3 am. The whiskey had long since spilled between the cushions of the couch, and he panicked. Was emergency re-upholstery a thing? He was pulled from his frantic thoughts by a loud knock at the front door. Who in the Hell came to the door at 3 am. Hannibal was probably snug in bed upstairs, having left Will on the couch as punishment for the sub wrapper. Just wait until he smelled the booze slowly making its way through his cushions and onto the floor. 

Will walked to the door, the dogs close behind him. He looked through the peephole. 

“Sweet Jesus!” He yelled, and unlocked the door. 

Hannibal Lecter was standing on the front steps. Well, Sort of. Two men had their arms around his sides, keeping him upright. 

“Oh god! Is he alright?” Will grabbed at Hannibal. Was there blood? 

“Oh. He’s more than alright. Are you Will?” 

Hannibal perked up for a minute. 

“Ohhh boys. Thasss Will alright. Turn around darling. Let them take a peek”. Hannibal slurred and grinned stupidly. 

The two men at the door laughed hysterically, throwing their heads back in mirth. 

“UGH! Get in here before someone issues a noise complaint.” Will reached out, and Hannibal fell into his arms. 

“Don’t worry love” began Hannibal. “The only noise complaint will be when I stick my finger in your-”

“Hannibal! Will you be quiet?!” Will’s face was scarlet at this point, and the other men were giggling in the hallway. 

“You two can go. I’ve got him from here.” Will dismissed them with an impatient wave of the hand. 

They stumbled out to the waiting cab, the driver honking his horn angrily. 

oOo

Will led Hannibal to the couch, forgetting about the whiskey. 

“Willl....Did you spill something..?” Hannibal asked thickly. 

Will sighed. 

“ You do know it’s 3 am right?” 

“It can’t be!" Returned Hannibal. “It’s 10:30"

“10:30!?” Will was incredulous. 

“11 at the latest. See?” Hannibal held his watch up to Will’s face.

“Alright. Whatever you say Doctor. Just stay there for a minute alright? You need coffee. And water. And a new shirt.” 

Hannibal’s shirt was covered in something that smelled vaguely like an Apple-tini. 

Will busied himself in the kitchen grumbling darkly. He started the coffee maker, and filled a glass with ice cold filtered water. 

He returned. 

“Hannibal I-” 

Will’s mouth fell open, and he almost let the water glass slip from his hand. 

Winston was up on the couch looking uncomfortable as Hannibal tried to tie his floppy ears into a bow. 

“Look how pretty you are! Will! Look at Winston. He’s so happy." Winston was horrified and looked pleadingly at Will. 

“Hannibal. Stop harassing the dogs and drink this.” He shoved the water at Hannibal who snickered. Winston ran off in relief. 

“This is the best water I’ve ever had Will. How can I possibly thank you?" 

Hannibal, Will could tell, was trying to be smooth.

“Hannibal. It’s fucking water. And if you think you can get it up, good for you. I’m going to bed.” 

Will started to stalk off. 

Hannibal rose from the couch and stumbled after his lover. 

“Ohhh Will. I was joking. Please. Let’s just go to sleep.” Hannibal’s head had begun lolling on his neck. 

“Fine." Will said curtly. 

“But we are SLEEPING. You hear me? It’s 4:30 in the fucking morning, and Jack is expecting me bright and early.” 

“But it’s Saturday” Hannibal whined. 

At this point they had made it successfully to the bedroom. 

“Murderers don’t take weekends off.” Said Will, as Hannibal fell heavily against the pillows.

“Poor Will” Hannibal drawled, eyes already closing. 

oOo

Will tucked Hannibal in as well as possible, and was able to somehow get him down to an undershirt and boxers. He settled down into the plush mattress and had begun to doze when-

“HANNIBAL!" 

The doctor was between Will's legs, holding his rapidly hardening cock between his lips. 

Hannibal purred, digging his own erection into Will’s thigh. 

He pulled off for a moment and said simply, 

"I got it up." 

Will rubbed his eyes and looked down. So much for sleep. 

“Alright Lecter. But make it quick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little ditty for ya.


	17. Safety first

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dude. You just have to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short. Some porn.

“Will. This is a terrible idea”.

Hannibal had his hands on 10 and 2, driving carefully down the dark back road to Wolf Trap. He nervously glanced over at his boyfriend. Will had had several more glasses of Malbec at dinner than probably advisable, and was giggling red faced. 

Will’s hand was creeping up Hannibal’s thigh, and was soon tucked into the heat of his crotch. Hannibal’s breath caught, and his traitorous cock began to twitch. Will’s hand continued its journey, and ended up down the front of Hannibal’s slacks. Will gently followed the line of soft hair with his fingers and pinched Hannibal's foreskin gently. 

“Alright Will. Just...make it quick”.

Will laughed and grabbed Hannibal’s length gleefully. He had unbuckled to lean over. The head of Hannibal’s penis was now sticking up over the band of his underwear, and Will licked the tip experimentally. Hannibal groaned and grabbed the wheel white knuckled. 

He thrust up into Will’s throat, and closed his eyes. Just for a moment. 

He exploded into Will’s mouth, making him sputter. Hannibal opened his eyes and squeaked, swerving away from the small ditch next to the road just in time. The car bounced back into the road and Will was jostled against the door. 

“I better buckle up for safety” he slurred rubbing his temple. 

And then out of thin air, there were blue and red lights blinking behind them. The siren whooped once. 

Hannibal looked at Will. Furious. 

oOo

The cop was at the window of the Bentley. 

“Good evening sir. How can I help you.” Hannibal was smooth as ever. 

“Have you been drinking sir?” The cop peered at Hannibal suspiciously. 

“No officer. I was...” Hannibal stuttered, at a loss of words for probably the first time in his life. 

Will then took it upon himself to lean over Hannibal and say loudly, 

“Since when is it illegal to suck a cock in a moving vehicle?” 

Hannibal grimaced, and Will stared the officer down. 

“Alright.” The officer was deeply embarrassed. “You’ll get off with a warning this time.” 

Will pointed at the cop. 

“HAH! YOU SAID GET OFF!” 

The officer was silent.

“I’m sorry officer. It won’t happen again.” Hannibal said, trying to stay calm. 

Will decided to chime in again. 

“Oh. It’ll happen again officer. It’ll happen again.” He then abruptly passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys. I am DESPERATE for suggestions. How can our Hanni be owned??


	18. Poor Jack Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About the RIDE home. Well, almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok. This is a little guy. Someone requested I follow up on a previous chapter, "Poor Jack". Definitely advise you read it. It'll make a little more sense.

Jack was furious. 

“Hannibal, you get in the front, Will in the back." 

Hannibal currently had Will pinned to Jack’s SUV and was biting his earlobes.

“Fine fine” slurred Will, turning to open the back door. 

Jack rummaged around in his suit pockets. 

“Dammit!” I forgot my keys. Jack released a defeated breath. 

“Donnnn’t worry Jack” said Hannibal. We’ll be fine here.” 

“No funny business while I’m gone gentlemen.” Jack gave them the side eye. 

“Of course not!” exclaimed Will, pretending to be shocked and offended. 

Jack grumbled and hurried off. 

oOo

Hannibal watched Jack until he disappeared, and preceded to unceremoniously toss Will into the back seat. Hannibal jumped in after him, his body heavy on top of Will’s.

“Funny business! Yelled Will. “I love funny business!”. 

Hannibal, not one to fuck around, straddled Will until their clothed erections began brushing against each other. He undid Will’s slacks and roughly grabbed his cock. He pumped him for a moment before he reached into his own pants to release the Kraken. 

Hannibal shimmied out of his pants, and began to kiss Will roughly, more teeth and tongue than anything. He went from his lips to his neck to his tummy, licking the trail of hair that led south. Will’s length bobbed against Hannibal’s nose.

“I’m going to ride you Will.”

“Lube?” whispered Will, feeling regretful.

"Feel in my back pocket” Hannibal answered.

Will reached around to Hannibal’s tight backside, and into the pocket. 

“Butter??” Will asked incredulously. 

“Actually it’s margarine darling. Nothing but the best for you.” Hannibal winked.

Hannibal opened the tiny tub and ran a blob of Land O Lakes over each of them. Then, without any preparation what-so-ever, Hannibal slid down onto Will’s erection with a loud “GAH”. 

oOo

Jack’s keys were nowhere to be found. He searched around the coat check, wondering if both Will and Hannibal had passed out in the car. He could only hope. After about 15 minutes he found Bella. 

“Oh! I have your keys” She dug around in her purse. “Didn’t want you to forget.” 

Keys in hand, Jack sprinted out of the gallery towards the parking lot. 

oOo

When Jack reached the SUV it was rocking ever so slightly. 

“What did I say guys?" He walked around to the open back door, ready to break up another make out session. 

Jack looked inside and backed up in horror, stumbling onto his butt. 

Hannibal was riding Will with reckless abandon, ass in full view.

Jack covered his eyes, sure he had gone blind when-

“GOD YES HANNIBAL!” 

Jack felt sick. Hannibal then released a long, almost pained moan and collapsed onto Will. 

Jack was at a loss. 

As was his upholstery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I ruin Margarine for you??


	19. Playing Possum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Hanni. Poor Will. Poor doggies.

Hannibal awoke to a scuffling sound. He looked over at the clock, which read 3:15 am. Will was snoring next to him. Hannibal sat up and listened. There it was again, a scuffling, dragging noise. Then a yip. A thud. 

Fucking dogs, he thought, as he shook Will. 

“Will. The dogs, I think they need to go out.” 

Will, in his slumbering stupor mumbled something that sounded vaguely like “Your turn”. 

Titan, the Great Dane mix had serious diarrhea from the cat shit buffet in the neighbor’s yard. 

Hannibal got out of bed reluctantly and shuffled into the hallway. Titan, to his surprise, was pacing nervously back and forth, and the other dogs no where to be seen. 

There was the scuffling again. Titan whined and leaned against Hannibal’s pajama-ed leg. He began wishing he had grabbed the scalpel from his desk as he tip-toed down the hallway and into the living room. 

Hannibal opened his mouth in horror and let out a silent scream that caught in his throat.

A possum lay on the sofa, gnawing on its foot non-nonchalantly. The creature shifted, and several mini possums hung off of its belly. They peered out at Hannibal with their black, knowing eyes, curious but not at all alarmed. 

Hannibal tripped backwards and sprinted to the bedroom. 

oOo

“Will! WAKE UP.” 

Will sat up suddenly. 

“Hannibal, what in the Hell?” 

“Will”. He panted. “Living room. Come”. 

Hannibal was obviously struck dumb with fear, and Will leapt up. 

“Hannibal. Is someone here?” Will rummaged around in the drawer for his pocket knife. 

“Yes. Someone. Something. My couch..” 

Will, alert, walked into the living room. He was astounded at the display before him.

A large possum lay on the couch, her babies exploring the cushions and leaving little trails of shit in their wake. 

“Fuck.” Will stared at the creature, who was now licking the leather arm rest contentedly. 

“I think I....” Will began. “I must have left the sliding door open again.”

Hannibal just stared, stiff of a board. 

“I’ll deal with it.” Said Will remorsefully. 

oOo

Hannibal was huddled in their bed, blankets pulled up to his chin. He imagined the creature crawling up his leg, tiny claws digging into his skin, making its way towards his face....  
He shook, and grabbed the bottle of whiskey Will had left on the small bedside table. Hannibal took a swig and shivered.

oOo 

Will wrangled all the dogs into the bedroom where Hannibal was shaking under the covers. 

“Hannibal. Darling. It’s a possum. You need to find your chill.” 

The dogs all leapt onto the bed and positioned themselves around him. The doctor silently and mechanically began to pat Titan’s head. 

“Hannibal.” Begged Will. Say something. You’re freaking me out.”

“You...are dead to me.” Was all Hannibal could utter. 

Will had to laugh. 

“Whatever you say, my sun and stars.” Will said, sarcastically. 

“No. Game of Thrones. References.” Hannibal was panting like the dogs surrounding him. 

oOo

Will crept into the living room. The possum was peacefully asleep, babies snuggled up next to her. It was actually kind of cute...he tip toed closer. Maybe he could just shoo them out...  
Will was a few feet away when the Possum jerked awake. It hissed at Will , puffing up like a pillow filled with rabies. 

Will stumbled, falling onto his ass. The possum rose from the couch, babies swinging from its stomach like little balls of rage. It climbed down off the couch, nails digging into the leather. Hannibal would have a heart attack. The thing stalked towards him, sharp teeth bared. He scooted backwards down the hall until he was sitting outside the linen closet. He was close enough to reach the handle. 

oOo

The possum stalked him like a Velociraptor. Will flung the door of the closet open and grabbed the first thing he touched. A fitted sheet. 

He chucked the sheet over the possum with a yell. It screeched and began to roll around maniacally. It rolled over, tangled in the fabric. One of the babies flew through the air with a hiss. It landed safely on the carpet, immediately pissing everywhere. 

Will stood and grabbed another sheet. The possum was enraged, rolling and cursing in some evil, foreign tongue. Some how Will, suddenly oozing adrenaline, was able to grab the sheets creating a sack. The possum continued to scream as will dragged it to the sliding door leading out to the lawn. He threw it like a shot putt into the yard. The entire sack, possums and all, landed somewhere outside the fence. He heard it hissing and scratching at the gate, hoping to take its sweet revenge. Will slammed the door and took a deep, cleansing breath. 

oOo

He found Hannibal still in bed, passed out with an empty bottle of whiskey in his hand. Will sighed and left him to clean up possum excrement. That couch was done. Which was too bad, as Will would probably be sleeping celibate on it for the next month. 

His penis wept silently.


	20. Between a rock and a hard place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanni gets absolutely OWNED.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes. This may or may not involve a penis.

“Hannibal! People will see...”

Hannibal currently had Will pinned against the Bentley and was sucking bruises onto his neck. They had arrived early to the crime scene, and Hannibal planned to take advantage of the extra few minutes.

“Will. It’s completely dark. And we are well shielded by trees. Now stop being so prudish.” Hannibal returned to his task of marking Will thoroughly. 

“Ugh” Will groaned. Hannibal began to move lower and Will acquiesced. 

Will’s own hands began to wander underneath Hannibal’s coat and suit jacket. He was halfway hard when-

“Will! Dr. Lecter! We need you over here.” 

They jumped apart, hearing Jack’s footsteps crunching on dead leaves. 

“Dammit!” Will was suddenly flaccid, and his cock sighed in defeat. 

Will walked towards Jack, and Hannibal hovered by the car. 

“Dr. Lecter. Would you mind following me? I’d like to get your assessment.” 

“I’ll be right there Jack”. Hannibal stood stiffly by the drivers side door. 

Will looked back at Hannibal curiously. 

“Dr. Lecter. You are here to give your opinion correct?” Jack was getting irritated at the delay.

Hannibal hesitated and answered, “Yes...?”

“Excellent. Now both of you follow me.” Jack stomped off. 

oOo

Hannibal was practically glued to Will’s back as they entered the scene. He was also limping slightly.

“Dr. Lecter. Are you feeling ok?" Jack feigned concern.

Hannibal gulped. “Yes. Yes Jack. I just need a moment. A bit nauseous.” 

He was looking a little pale in the artificial lights illuminating the space. Hannibal turned on his heel at Jack’s dismissive waive. Will was torn. He was worried about Hannibal, but also pretty sure Jack might implode if he followed Hannibal back to the car. He’d have to make this quick.

oOo

The killer’s design was relatively simple, but it took them an over an hour in the cold, examining the body before it was moved. A drowned corpse would start to fall apart the minute it was lifted. 

Will resigned himself to the situation. Jack was absorbed, and had completely forgotten about the doctor. Will pulled out his phone, and began texting.

-Hey. You may want to head home. I can grab a ride with someone.

Hannibal responded. 

-I’m fine. I have a book”.

 

oOo

When jack had released him, Will walked back to the car through the thick blanket of leaves. Hannibal was sitting stiff as a board in the drivers side seat, book abandoned. Will knocked on the window, and Hannibal opened the door. 

“Hannibal, what is going on?” Will was concerned at the strained look on Hannibal’s face. 

“I.” Began Hannibal. “I may have made a mistake.” He shifted uncomfortably. 

“Are you seriously admitting to a mistake? Where’s my phone. I have to record this.”

“William. This is not a joke. Look.” 

Hannibal lifted his hands out of lap to reveal his slacks stretched tightly over a massive erection. 

Will laughed. 

“Well. We’ll just have to take care of that on the way home won’t we.” Will waggled his eyebrows. 

“Will. I don’t think you understand. I’ve tried to get rid of it.” 

Will stared at him for a moment blinking stupidly when it dawned on him. 

“Oh my god Hannibal. Did you take something?” Will was astounded. 

“I may...have written myself a prescription.” Hannibal closed his eyes, and clinched his fists. The raging beast was throbbing in his pants without mercy. 

“How much did you take? 

“I doubled the prescription. Apparently I overestimated my stamina”. Hannibal said weakly.

Will thought for a moment. 

“Hannibal. You are the last person on Earth who needs Viagra. You fuck me like 3 times a day”. 

Hannibal clenched his jaw. 

“I thought it would be...entertaining.” Hannibal groaned and shifted again. He was beginning to pant. 

“Ok” said Will, seeing his pain. “Tell me what to do.”

“I need to go to the hospital. They need to...they need to drain it. Lengthy erections can have a permanent effect on the ability to achieve future erections.” Hannibal looked sick. Even Will felt his stomach turn. 

“Have you had this...situation since we got here?” Will asked.

“Unfortunately yes. It has been approximately 2 hours and 25 minutes.” 

“Alright. It will be ok. Will laid a reassuring hand on Hannibal’s shoulder. 

“It will not be ok William. The car battery is dead.” Hannibal moaned miserably.

Hannibal nodded at the keys in the ignition. He exited the car and limped around to the passenger side. Will slid into the empty seat. He turned the keys fruitlessly, the car sputtering and gasping.

Will squinted his eyes and thought. There was really only one thing to do.

“I’m sorry about this Hannibal. Remember that you love me.” 

He disappeared into the trees and returned...with Jack Crawford. 

“I’m sorry Jack. We need a lift to the emergency room.” 

Will flushed scarlet. Hannibal was too far gone to be embarrassed, and un-zipped his trousers for some sort of relief.

Jack stared open mouthed at the doctor, seeing the sad, chafed creature sticking out of his briefs. 

“Alright” said Jack breathing heavily. “To the hospital”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See?? Doesn't the name make sense now??


	21. Manties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistreatment of underwear. This is more Will getting owned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My new favorite kink.

It was by sheer force of will that Professor Graham didn’t adjust himself in front of his students. He tried his best to stay behind his desk, fidgeting uncomfortably. Only the students in the front row noticed his flushed cheeks and forcibly straight posture. 

This may have been a mistake.

oOo

Hannibal was obsessed with Will’s ass of late. Even more than usual, which was pretty fucking hard to do. He slapped it, massaged it, and pinched it in full view of the public. He would bump into Will “accidentally” at work, half-cocked erection pressing into his ass. 

It wasn’t as if Will didn’t appreciate the attention. He could either A.) Try to nip the enthusiasm in the bud, saving him from potential embarrassment, or B.) Let him go for the fucking gold. Will chose “B”, as being eaten out twice a day was worth the total lack of shame. Embarrassment be damned. He enjoyed having a tongue up his ass first thing in the morning. Hannibal’s very own breakfast butt buffet.

oOo

Will sat at his laptop, fingers poised over the keyboard. His cheeks were pink, and he was jiggling his knee in time with his nervous heartbeats. He had found the web site stealthily, using his lunch hours to search. He jumped every time he heard footsteps outside his door. Beverly Katz was the last thing he needed while he perused violet lace man-panties. He ended up clicking tentatively on a pair, and put in his credit card information. It was done. 

“Here goes nothing” he said out loud. He massaged his crotch, which was already getting a little too excited.

oOo

Class was Hell. Wearing the white lace scrap of fabric itched like a mother fucker. It rode even farther into the crack of his ass than was advertised, pinching his balls and tightly suffocating his cock. 

“It’s a fucking cock wedgie" he though miserably. 

Will was meeting Hannibal for lunch in his office. It was as good of a time as any. Class finally ended, and Will shoved papers into his bag and half ran from the building. The students shrugged. Graham was always a little weird. 

oOo

Hannibal was waiting in Will’s office with a variety of glass storage containers. 

“Hey” said Will, voice slightly strained. 

Hannibal of course caught on immediately, and came to embrace his lover.

“Rough day?” he asked, accented words smooth as silk. 

Hannibal (surprise surprise) put his arms around Will and double fisted his butt cheeks. 

“You should lock the door” Gulped Will. 

“My pleasure Professor” returned Hannibal, reaching back and locking the door with one hand. 

Will kissed him then, poking his tongue eagerly into his soft, wet mouth. Their tongues danced together, each famished for the other. Hannibal took one hand away from Will’s ass, and slipped it down his trousers to the line of his boxers. 

But...There were no boxers. 

Will flushed scarlet as Hannibal felt the fabric underneath, soft and flimsy. The lace was beginning to expand dangerously with Will’s growing excitement. 

Hannibal blinked at him, and without hesitation picked him up behind the thighs are threw him roughly onto his desk. 

“I guess you like them” smirked Will, cock whining for some attention. 

Hannibal growled, And yanked off Will’s belt chucking it somewhere into the room. He slid down Will’s Khakis, completely exposing the lingerie. It was white, with a thin piece of string hiding between Will’s butt cheeks. He was barely concealed in the luxurious item, leaking an almost embarrassing amount of fluid. 

Hannibal grabbed at Will again, groping and grabbing roughly. Hannibal undid his own belt, and grabbed a bottle of lotion off the desk. He slicked up his own pulsating member, and pushed the nonexistent string aside. He stuck a slick pointer finger into Will, whose mouth was hanging open in a silent scream. Hannibal prepped him quickly, 3 fingers slamming against his prostate with rhythmic precision. 

Hannibal shoved his cock unceremoniously into Will’s hot, now loose opening. He pumped as hard as he could, the desk screeching backward with his wild thrusts. 

Hannibal came with a sharp yelp, body jerking a twitching. At the feel of Hannibal’s weight on top of him, Will came as well, almost decimating the little undies. 

oOo

Hannibal and Will cleaned up, and actually ate the lunch Hannibal had prepared. They were both a little sore. Tantalizingly sore. They kissed goodbye and Hannibal half stumbled out of the office, hair disheveldly tellingly. 

oOo

“Will." Jack peeked into the small office. 

“Come in Jack”. Will was grading a stack of mediocre papers. 

“Sorry to interrupt you.” Jack took a seat in the small chair in the corner. “Could I bother you to come check out some photos in my office? Bev and the boys are already there.” 

“Sure. I need a break anyhow” answered Will, standing up and cracking his neck. 

He followed Jack to his office, Beverly and the guys absorbed in photos spread out on Jack’s desk. 

“Hey Guys”. 

“Hey Will.” Said Bev. “We could use your brain.” 

“Oh, it’s my pleasure” said Will Sarcastically. 

The photos were grisly. Will moved forward, and picked one up for closer inspection. He accidentally grabbed 2 sheets, and dropped one on the floor. 

“Oops”. 

Will bent over.

There was am audible gasp. Bev coughed and grabbed Will, dragging him from the office. 

“What’s going on?” Will felt uncomfortable with her sudden, rough handling. 

“Will!” She whisper-yelled. “Your...your thong.” 

Will closed his eyes. He hadn’t removed the damp panties at Hannibal’s request. He was going to fucking kill him. 

Will turned and ran to the bathroom, pulling at the back of his pants. He heard peals of laughter following him down the hall.


	22. Morning Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mmm. Breakfast,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will makes breakfast and shit gets REAL.

Hannibal was a morning person. Will not so much. Since they had decided to co-habitate (to Hannibal’s of course), Hannibal awoke early to let the dogs out to pee. He even occasionally played with them, throwing sticks from the porch. He let Will snore away, and made breakfast. Not that he minded cooking, but he missed Will’s sleepy presence. If Will was up, and was feeling particularly energetic, he would put on one of Hannibal’s sweaters, revealing his thighs. Hannibal’s cock stirred at the thought. 

oOo

Will loved sleeping in now that Hannibal had taken over the mornings chores. He luxuriated in the heavy blankets, feeling safe and content. When Hannibal arose, Will would roll into the middle of the bed, enjoying Hannibal’s scent. When Will finally stirred, he would dilly dally out to the kitchen where omelets or quiche awaited. Occasionally they would even take advantage of Will’s morning wood on the dining room table. 

oOo

Will awoke to a soft grey light peeking through the curtains. He sat up and stretched, feeling well rested and content. He glanced at the clock. It was barely 6:30, and Will shrugged. Maybe for once he’d make breakfast for his lover. Hannibal snoozed next to him, murmuring something that sounded like “No Winston!” as he turned over. He carefully pulled back the covers, and felt around for his slippers. He crept away, and shut the door gently behind him. 

oOo

Will was no slouch in the kitchen. He could make eggs with best of them. He wasn’t Hannibal, but who was? He cracked the eggs and mixed them with cottage cheese, a little trick he learned from master chef. He left the eggs for a moment, mincing onions and mushrooms before throwing them into a pan and drizzling them with truffle oil. They began to sizzle and pop, the aroma filling the kitchen. The dogs ran in eagerly, salivating at the smell of food. He pulled Hannibal’s handmade sausages from the fridge and placed them in the pan with the veggies. Hannibal ate meat at every meal. Including Will's. 

Will hummed at the thought. He rubbed his crotch, and a devious, evil little thought hit him. The eggs and sausage were ready, feta sprinkled on top of everything. He pulled down his boxers and hopped up on the counter. 

oOo

Hannibal yawned and sat up, surprised that Will had already gotten up. Alana would be there for breakfast in about half hour. He had made bagels the night before, and would present them proudly with capers and fresh lox. He had assumed Will would sleep through it, allowing him some quiet time to focus. He sauntered through the sitting room and stopped. Will stood before him, stark naked, holding a plate of eggs in one hand, and a sausage in the other. Hannibal's erection sprung into action, and he threw off his robe. He forgot everything at the sight of Will’s cock standing at attention, leaking mouth-watering fluid. 

oOo

Alana was looking forward to breakfast. It was always a feast, with freshly squeezed grapefruit juice and some sort of exotic coffee. They were supposed to “discuss a paper”, which they would do after she gave Hannibal the dirty details of her latest date with Bev Katz. It would be just the two of them, and she was happy to have a little one on one time with her mentor. She was a few minutes early, and parked her hybrid in the driveway. She casually walked into the house, something Hannibal only tolerated from Alana Bloom. She went to put her purse down and dropped it suddenly, a loud yelp echoing from the kitchen. 

“Hannibal? Are you alright? Did you cut yourself again?’

She walked quickly toward the noise, and was greeted by the sight of Hannibal balls deep in Will, rutting and growling like a wild animal in heat. 

“JESUS CHRIST! WILL GRAHAM!!” Alana put her hand over her mouth, as if holding in vomit.

Hannibal chose this moment to cum violently with a groan, unable to contain himself any longer. 

“Alana!” Will was suddenly flaccid and horrified. 

Hannibal froze, and blinked stupidly. Should he pull out?

Alana gagged and ran from the room. 

She may never eat again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIGGHHHT?'


	23. The in yo pants dance, or, man-bun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're just going to have to jump right in aren't you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another thank you thank you thank for the kudos and comments. This series wouldn't exist without you.

“You need a haircut William. You look ridiculous.”

Hannibal lay next to Will, examining him closely. 

“Mmm” hummed Will. “I thought you liked something to tug.” 

“Oh said Hannibal Wickedly. I have plenty of things to tug.” He reached down and yanked Will’s cock roughly through his pajama bottoms. 

“Ouch!” He yelped, laughing. He rolled on top of Hannibal and bit into his collar bone. 

Hannibal gasped and his eyelids fluttered. Will began to move down his chest licking his nipples and nuzzling his chest hair. Hannibal forgot about Will’s hair as the man’s mouth closed over his weeping erection. 

oOo

“Hannibal?” 

Will strolled into Hannibal’s home like he lived there. Half his shit was there anyway. 

“Will come in. I’m in the office”. 

Hannibal was sketching some amazing fucking thing at his desk. He was completely absorbed, bangs falling into his eyes casually. 

“So” began Will, sitting on the corner of Hannibal’s work space. “I have some news”. 

Hannibal finally put down his pencil. 

“Do tell” He rested his elbows on the desk with his hands propped under his chin. 

“You look like an idiot when you do that. Anyway. Jack wants me to do a lecture circuit. I guess there’s been some budding interest in my monograph on time of death based on insect activity.” 

“Ah yes.” said Hannibal teasingly. “The bug paper.”

Will rolled his eyes. 

“So William. Shall you accept this invitation?” Hannibal was in doctor mode. 

“You know, I think I will. I could use a break from...all of this.” Will sighed, suddenly looking tired. 

Hannibal came to stand in front of Will, who was still perched on the corner of the desk. He fidgeted. 

“Do you want me to go?” Will asked, lowering his eyes. 

“Will.” Began Hannibal. “This is a wonderful opportunity. I shall miss you, but the time will pass”. Hannibal smiled at him warmly, and began to move his hands down Will’s arms.

“When do you leave?” 

“Saturday.” Will answered.

Hannibal stepped closer.

“Well then. That gives us 3 days to fuck like rabbits.” He licked the outer shell of Will’s ear. 

“And” Hannibal continued. “Cut your fucking hair”. 

oOo

Will’s itinerary was just over a month long, and included the east coast ivies, and several smaller schools in the Midwest. The boys survived the separation with phone sex and dick pics. Hannibal didn’t care for face time. They spoke daily, Will laying in his hotel room, stroking his dick and and fingering his hole. He loved listening to Hannibal huff and puff into the speaker as they came simultaneously. 

oOo

Hannibal first saw Will at a crime scene the day he returned to Baltimore. Jack had also called the doctor for a consultation.

Will was speaking with Jack, when Hannibal spotted him. He froze, breath catching in his throat. 

Will’s hair was pulled into a messy bun at the back of his head. Tendrils that had escaped framed his face and fell into his eyes. He pushed them back non-chalantly, attention on Jack. Finally Will glanced over over Jack’s shoulder and saw Hannibal. He squeaked and practically ran to him. Jack rolled his eyes when Will threw himself into Hannibal’s arms. 

Hannibal gulped, feeling something stir in his trousers. As Will leaned away momentarily his hair fluttered in the breeze, brushing Hannibal’s nose. 

“William...” He rasped. “Your Hair...”

“I know you hate it” He grinned. “But it’s growing on me. Get it? Growing on me?”

Hannibal reached out, and pushed a strand away from Will’s forehead. Will then pressed his body against Hannibal’s. Their crotches met for a moment, and Will felt a bulge against his thigh.

That was all it took. 

Hannibal’s eyes widened, and he jerked violently against Will. He shuddered and gasped, breathing heavily. Moisture spread through his underwear and trousers onto Will’s knee. 

“Hannibal...did you just...?” Will stared, genuinely shocked. 

Hannibal clenched his jaw. 

“Please tell Jack I had an emergency appointment”. 

At this he sprinted back to the Bentley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've all been there.


	24. Smitten kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literal fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. Hanni isn't necessarily owned here, but...I felt like it belonged in the series. 
> 
> Be warned. Fluffy af

“Welp”. Will strolled into the kitchen, plopping something on the counter. 

“Welp?” repeated Hannibal, looking up briefly from his book. 

He did a double take. There was a bag of food on the counter, and Will had a look. Hannibal knew that look. 

“Will. We can’t. Eight is more than enough. For the love of God.” Hannibal was almost pleading.  
Will looked at Hannibal and bit his lip. He brought a carrier into the sitting area, and placed it on the coffee table. 

“Will. That’s re-claimed barn wood from-” 

He was cut off when a tiny mew came from the box. 

Hannibal rolled his eyes. 

“William....” 

Will grinned as he opened the little door. The tiny creature stumbled out, squeaking and stretching its skinny legs. It was wobbly, and tripped over it’s own feet. It was a fluffy little thing, with fur that would be white after a bath.

Will picked it up and sat down next to Hannibal on the couch. 

“Don’t worry” Will grinned as he cuddled the ball of fluff. “It goes to the no-kill shelter tomorrow.”

Hannibal sighed. 

“Alright Will. One night.”

oOo

Will was so warm, so comfy. He pressed his face into his pillow and wiggled down farther into the mattress. Hannibal was up already, hopefully making French toast. Stuffed with something weird and delicious. The thought of homemade maple syrup finally got him out of his cocoon. 

He walked down to the kitchen, disappointed to smell nothing but coffee. Hello. Where the Hell was his syrupy soaked goodness. 

Hannibal seemed to be talking to someone. Was he on the phone? Will peeked in. Hannibal was looking at the floor, discussing something in a serious tone. 

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day” he said sternly to the floor. 

“Hannibal?” 

Hannibal actually jumped. People rarely got the drop of Hannibal Lecter. 

“Who are you talking to?” 

Hannibal cleared his throat. 

“Oh. Just um. Just Katrina.” He turned away from Will and stirred something on the stove. 

“Katrina...” Will frowned in confusion. Then it dawned on him. Katrina. 

The tiny cat wandered out from behind the counter and rubbed against Will’s leg. It’s fur was white and silky. It had obviously had a bath. Will leaned down to pick it up. It smelled of coconut. She had a small bandage on one of her paws. 

“She had a thorn” Hannibal answered the question on Will’s face. 

Will peered over Hannibal’s shoulder looking at the stove. 

“What on Earth are you making for breakfast?” Will sniffed and curled his lip. 

Hannibal just cleared his throat.

“Hannibal Lecter. Are you making food for this cat?”

“Yes Will. If you must know I am. The food you brought is hardly good sustenance. She’ll be more likely to be adopted if she’s healthy and clean.”

“Adopted huh?” Will looked at Hannibal dubiously. 

“Indeed.” He put whatever it was he was stirring into a small stainless steel bowl. 

“Calves liver, sauteed in duck fat. For the amino acids” Hannibal said aloud as he presented the cat with her dish.

Will was astonished, amused, and moved. He was also extremely hungry. 

oOo

The shelter didn’t open until noon. Will ran out to the market and grabbed some fresh produce for dinner. 

He came home to a quiet house, the only sound the click of dog claws coming to greet and smell him. 

“Hannibal?” 

There was no answer. He put down his bags and looked in the living room. Empty. He peeked into the study. No one. 

He then heard a soft noise from the bedroom. He opened the door a crack, astonished at the scene before him. 

Hannibal was asleep. He was snoring softly, hence to noise. He was curled up on top of the comforter...with Katrina, the cat tucked between Hannibal’s knees and abdomen. Will put his hand over his mouth. 

He crept over to the bed and sat down gently. He stroked Hannibal’s bangs back from his face. The sleeping man then opened his eyes, smiling as he saw Will. 

“Hannibal” Will whispered, still stroking his hair. “We’re keeping the cat.”

oOo

TBC!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flooooof


	25. Babe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babe. That's all you get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanni gets his ass kicked in this one.

Hannibal and Will were in bed. Big surprise. They were both still floating in the hazy afterglow of several mind blowing orgasms. Hannibal stroked Will’s sweaty forehead, and Will hummed. 

“That feels great babe”. 

“Babe?’ Hannibal returned, raising his eyebrows. 

“Yeah. I kind of like it.” Will was completely content. 

Hannibal smiled. “I agree. Babe.”

oOo

Hannibal arrived late to the meeting at the BAU. It was getting a bit tedious, to be honest, but he went where Will went. 

Will saw him come in and smiled crookedly. Hannibal winked subtly, no one noticing. 

“Will” said Jack, voice echoing throughout the room. “What’s your take”. 

He hated this part. He stood in front of all the agents, and analyzed the grisly photos. He had begun to sweat. He was pale when he turned around to speak. He opened his mouth and no sound came out. The people were staring. All staring at him. 

Will’s eyes began to close lazily. As Bev stood up to catch his arm, Hannibal sprinted up with a loud, 

“BABE!”

Hannibal caught him before he hit the floor. He gently pulled Will to his feet. The room was silent. Beverly coughed and blinked conspicuously. Hannibal frowned at her, and was then hit with the realization. Babe. Will’s eyelids fluttered open. 

“Will. We should probably go.” 

Hannibal hoisted him up in a fireman’s carry and booked it from the room. 

oOo

Will and Hannibal sat in Jack’s office, Hannibal shifting uncomfortably for probably the first time in his life. Will was half laying on the small settee with a damp cloth on his forehead. 

Jack sat before them, head in his hands. 

“Alright gents. What the Hell is going on.” Jack rubbed his face in a very Will Graham-ish way. 

Hannibal took a breath and released it harshly out of his nose. 

“Will and I...” Hannibal began. He couldn’t seem to form the words. 

Will was exhausted, a headache building in his temples. All he think about was Hannibal’s bed. He was tired of Jack, tired of everything. With a burst of angry energy he sat up and practically yelled- 

“We’re fucking ok? We fuck all the time! Like 3 times a day! Sometimes in my office! Now deal with it!”

Will fell back onto the couch with a groan, and rubbed his head. 

“Let’s get out of here.” Will swung his wobbly legs over the side of the couch. 

Hannibal supported him as they walked away. 

Jack opened his bottom drawer, and pulled out a half empty bottle of burboun. He needed a shot. Or seven.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry! <3


	26. Smitten Kitten Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is fluffy as hell, and so ooc your face may fall off. 
> 
> Also, I would recommend reading Smitten Kitten Part I in this series. It may not make sense otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questioning my life choices.

Will was still asleep, dreaming of pervy things. His hardened cock pulled him out of his slumber, and he rolled over, hoping Hannibal could...give him a hand. Will chuckled to himself. 

Hannibal, however, was apparently already up. Will stretched and eased himself out of bed, looking back at the pile of pillows mournfully. His cock was starting to behave itself and he slipped on a robe.

oOo

To Will’s shock, the kitchen was empty. There were no smells of cooking food, or brewed coffee. 

“Hannibal?”

He walked back down the hallway and peeked into the study. Completely silent, other than dogs snoring around the fireplace. There were red ashes sitting in the grate slowly burning out. Will was beginning to get concerned. 

“Hannibal! Where the Hell are you?” 

No answer. 

Will walked speedily back to the bedroom and slipped on jeans and the first t-shirt he could find.

oOo

Outside he found the car gone. Will was panicking. He pulled out his cell, and tried Hannibal once again. He heard a soft jingle coming from behind him, and sure enough, Hannibal’s phone sat in the dew dampened grass. 

“Fuck” whispered Will, at a total loss. 

As he bent over to grab the phone off the ground, the gravel crunched behind him. Hannibal had pulled recklessly into the drive, almost hitting a topiary. 

Hannibal jumped out of the car, looking frazzled. 

“Jesus Christ Hannibal! Where the Hell were you?” 

Hannibal ignored Will’s angry inquiry, and grabbed him roughly by the arms. 

“She’s gone.” He whispered, breath labored.

“Huh? Who’s gone.”

Then it hit him. 

“Katrina?” 

Hannibal nodded, disheveled and distressed. 

“I went to look for her. In the car. I called and called, and there was nothing. Will she’s got to be dead! What if a hawk picked her up?” 

“Hannibal. I’m pretty sure there aren’t a Hell of a lot of hawks in Baltimore. You have no idea if she’s dead. We'll go look for her, but first you need to calm down.” 

Will put his hands on Hannibal’s broad shoulders, massaging lightly. 

Hannibal began to breath slowly, coached by Will. He got his color back, and felt his muscles unclench some. 

“Alright. Let’s go”. 

oOo

Will suggested they walk around the neighborhood, easier to check in nooks and crannies. Hannibal was several feet in front of Will, eyes on the ground.

It was Sunday morning, and the streets were relatively empty. It began to cloud over, threatening snow. Even Will began to get a little worried, a tiny cat caught in a winter storm. 

They walked a few more blocks. 

oOo

Will spotted her first, in the arms of a little girl. She held the cat close to her chest, a scarf wrapped around its tiny body. 

“Hannibal!” 

Hannibal’s head whipped around. 

“KATRINA” he practically screamed, and began to full out sprint down the side walk.

The little girl froze, absolutely terrified.

“He’s ok!” Will yelled, trying to fix the situation. “Hannibal slow down!” 

The little girl stared, eyes wide, and gripped Katrina closer to her chest. 

Hannibal stopped in front of her, trying to desperately get ahold of himself. 

“That’s Katrina” he said, almost weeping, kneeling down to the girl’s level. 

Then the girl spoke. 

“I..I found her. She was under a bush, crying.” She then smiled softly. 

“Her name is Katrina?” 

Hannibal gulped

“Yes. Yes it’s Katrina”. 

The girl carefully unwrapped her scarf from around the fuzzy body, and handed the kitten to Hannibal.

Hannibal clasped her tightly, the cat squeaking in protest. 

Will looked down at the girl.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” He smiled at her, in what he hoped was a non-creepy way.

The little girl turned to Hannibal who was now sitting right on the sidewalk, straight up crying. His nose was running unattractively, and he was snorting in between sobs. He buried his face in the cat’s fur like a child.

The girl looked at him awkwardly and said quickly, 

“I need to go my parents are expecting me it’s time for lunch see you later bye”. 

She ran off, scarf flying behind her. 

Will looked around, and noticed they were starting to attract a little attention. 

“Um, babe, let’s go.” 

Will had to physically lift the larger man from the ground. He put his arm around his shoulders, and led him slowly home. 

“C’mon you sap. Let’s get you a drink.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you puke in your mouth?


	27. Poor Jack part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets some SWEET revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phone follies. And balls of course.

Jack was eating lunch. Some shitty sandwich from some shitty place on the way to work. He unwrapped it, the overwhelming smell of onions filling his office. He took a bite and frowned as the mayo oozed out the corners. 

There was a knock on the door. Jack spotted Hannibal and motioned for him to come in. 

“Jack. I brought leftovers in for Will, but his class ran over. Would you care to share them with me? They won’t last.”

Jack groaned and tossed the sandwich into the trash. 

“You’ve saved me from much suffering, and possible food poisoning Dr. Lecter.”

He grimaced at the soggy sub in the trash can.

Hannibal chuckled, handing him a container filled with a gorgeous salad, topped with thinly sliced beef and chunks of soft goat cheese. Hannibal relaxed in a comfy chair across from Jack’s desk, setting down his phone and wallet, feeling at home in the softy lit office. 

Jack took a bite and moaned, as he always did when consuming Hannibal’s cooking. 

“This is incredible Dr. Lecter.” 

Hannibal inclined his head in gratitude and began to eat. 

oOo

Jack walked Hannibal to the door, thanking him for the unexpected feast. Hannibal shook his hand and went to hunt down Will. 

Jack sat down and went to grab a file. He shuffled through his papers, not finding it. He must have forgotten it in the morgue. He really had no desire to grab it, feeling lazy and full. He had a few snaps on his phone of the crime scene, which would work for now. 

He clicked on the first one, and there sat Will Graham, eyes squeezed shut, hand around his own cock. Somehow the photographer had captured the exact moment of climax, the spray of semen caught forever in time. 

oOo

Hannibal hadn’t heard from Will. Strange. He had promised to call after his class ended. Hannibal had made reservations at La Scala in Little Italy, which were not easy to obtain, even for the debutant that was Dr. Hannibal Lecter. 

He took his phone out of his pocket. He pressed the home button, but the phone stopped him, asking for a code. Hannibal had yet to set a lock, the phone being new.  
He remembered sitting in Jack’s office, where he had carelessly thrown his iPhone on Jack’s desk. They must have switched somehow.

oOo

Hannibal made the trek back to Jack’s office, where the man sat, a small smile on his face. The door was open and he peeked in. 

“Jack. I’m sorry to disturb you, but I think we switched phones.” 

“We did indeed” said Jack, standing to hand Hannibal the device. 

Hannibal set Jack’s phone safely on his desk and wished him a good day. 

oOo

On his way downstairs he checked the cell, hoping for a text from Will. 

He stopped on the stairs, eyes bugging out of head. 

The photo on his display was usually the soft glow of the Chagall windows installed at the Chicago Institute of Art. 

The new photo was definitely not Chagall. 

The picture had obviously been edited and cropped, the image completely clear. Will Graham’s pink scrotum stared back at him, very conspicuously high and tight against his ass. The detail was incredible. Hannibal could even spot dark curly hairs poking up here and there. 

Hannibal let out a shaky breath, and noticed small black letters on the bottom of the photo, written in a ridiculous curly font. 

Hannibal squinted his eyes and read. 

“Dr. Lecter. You may want to lock your phone.”


	28. Glasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well now Will. A new kink?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My new kink also. And thank you all for your amazing comments.

Will saw it as they walked to another crime scene. It was pretty subtle, but he had definitely caught it. Hannibal had stumbled. He recovered himself quickly, and no one was the wiser. 

oOo

They were headed downtown to some fancy party or another. Hannibal still liked to show off his pretty boyfriend in a tux. 

“Hannibal.” Said Will surprised. “You missed the exit.” One thing Hannibal Lecter never did, was miss exits. 

“Oh. There must be construction.” Hannibal made a u-turn. 

Will looked at him momentarily. There was no construction. 

oOo

Hannibal was reading in bed alone. Will was puttering around like an old man, turning off lights and talking to the dogs. 

Will entered the bedroom, stripping down to his tiny boxers. Hannibal seemed to be completely absorbed in his book, nose almost touching the pages. 

Wait...was he squinting? Hannibal started when Will threw himself onto the bed. He dropped his book into his lap, and attempted to look normal. 

oOo

Hannibal was cooking. Something with pomegranate seeds and truffles and some other exotic thing. Will sat at the bar, and they chatted, as they usually did when they both got home from work. Hannibal stirred and pureed and chopped. He turned away from Will for a moment to grab something. 

SMACK. 

Dr. Hannibal Lecter had run headfirst into the refrigerator. 

Will could no longer keep quiet. 

Hannibal was rubbing his forehead and frowning, and Will came up to him, taking his hand. 

“Hannibal. My love. My one and only. My sex kitten. You need glasses.” Will squeezed his hand in mock sympathy. 

Hannibal cleared his throat and pulled his hand from Will’s. 

“I absolutely do not need glasses. I have always had perfect eyesight.” 

“Hannibal. I have glasses. It’s really not a big deal.” Will unconsciously adjusted his own black frames falling down his nose. 

“I assure you Will. I would know if I needed glasses.” He stalked off, tripping over a rug. 

oOo

Hannibal was ignoring Will. He didn’t answer texts, even if they were close up cock shots. He had gone an entire day without hearing from him, and began to regret his little intervention.

That evening, Will walked in the door, greeting a few dogs. 

“Hannibal?” He called, hoping for an answer. 

“In the study Will.” 

Will breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe his phone had died. 

“Hey, where were you today...” 

Will stopped mid sentence. Hannibal had spun around in his chair. Will’s breath began to pick up and his cock tingled.

Hannibal was sporting a pair of square tortoise shell frames. They sat on his nose, barely covering his light eyebrows. They highlighted the scar on his nose, and somehow enhanced the sharp edges of his cheekbones. 

“Will. I apologize. I...am embarrassed by my aging body, while yours is still so youthful to me.”

“Hannibal.” returned Will. “Shut the fuck up.”

It only took Will a few long strides and he was in Hannibal’s lap, biting his neck. He sucked his way down, and unbuttoned the top few buttons of Hannibal’s white dress shirt. 

“Will...?” Hannibal was confused. “What...?”

“Doctor Lecter” moaned Will. 

It hit him. The glasses. 

“Fuck me doctor.” Whispered Will beginning to rub Hannibal’s crotch with intent. 

In about 30 seconds, the doctor had Will bent in half over his desk, fingers knuckle deep into his slick hole. 

“MORE” Yelled Will, pushing back on Hannibal’s talented digits. 

Hannibal unbuckled his belt clumsily and dropped his briefs. He grabbed the lube from Will’s hand and poured it onto his cock. He smeared Will with it as well, pushing it into his now gaping entrance. 

He slid his cock in without ceremony, and fucked Will viciously into the desk. In only a few moments they came, Will soaking the papers on the desk, and Hannibal dumping his seed into Will. 

Sweat ran down Hannibal’s face, causing his glasses to slip slightly down his nose. He adjusted them and smiled, still balls deep in the panting Will.


	29. Pumpkin spice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I refuse to summarize. JUMP RIGHT IN. Xo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basic.

Will strolled into their home, smelling frying eggs and sizzling meat. 

“That smells fucking sinful” Said Will, as he kissed Hannibal on the cheek.

“What are you holding? You know I always make coffee.” Hannibal said in confusion, giving the side eye to the paper cup in Will’s hand. 

Will colored slightly. 

“It’s a uh..a pumkin spice latte.” All his words ran together and his blush depended.

“Excuse me?” Hannibal stepped forward and eyed the drink dubiously. 

“Come on” said Will, rolling his eyes. “Starbucks”. 

“I promise you Will, I know about Starbucks, spreading through Baltimore like a cancer.” 

Hannibal took the beverage and sniffed. 

“Will. I beg you. Please drink that in the study.” 

Will laughed and bowed regally, heading to the study chuckling to himself. 

oOo

Will and Hannibal both had long weeks around the corner. Will was headed out of town for a case and Hannibal was booked solid with patients. He actually considered hiring a receptionist. 

The night before Will left, Hannibal got drunk enough to let Will fuck him raw. He came twice in succession and Will’s cock was red and sore the next morning. Worth it. Hannibal was limping so conspicuously that Franklyn asked if he wanted a foot massage. The man popped a bottle of lotion out of his briefcase with his chubby hands. 

“Please Franklyn” replied Hannibal trying not to gag. “Lets get back to it. And no more cheese for godsake.”

oOo

Will hated the Midwest. But there he was, in Minneapolis. It was cold as fuck, and the frigid wind felt like needles. He was on his way back to airport thank god, waiting for a cab. He tried to focus his thoughts on their giant bed, and Hannibal himself holding him in a crushing embrace. He loved the way the soft, graying chest hairs tickled his back.

Will's cock awoke in his pants, happily responding to the fantasy. He pushed on his crotch and signed. Probably frowned upon to jerk off in a cab.

oOo

Hannibal sat in his favorite leather chair in the sitting room. He jiggled his knee and tapped his fingers on the arm rest. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. The latte. Whatever Will had called it. The smell had been warm and inviting, the hint of spice rousing his senses. He stood up and grabbed his coat. There was one of those... “places” a few miles away. Will was out of town. No one would be the wiser. Winston trotted over as Hannibal opened the door and he swore the dog frowned at him. Hannibal squinted at him and turned on his heel. 

oOo

Will was exhausted. Every flight out of the Twin Cities had been canceled due to a brutal blizzard moving through the area. He spent 2 nights in an airport Holiday Inn complaining to Hannibal. They had uninspired, grumpy phone sex. It did the trick though, and Will fell asleep with his hand still in his boxers. 

oOo

Will drove back to Wolf Trap after he landed, checking on the house. He still stayed there occasionally when he began to feel claustrophobic in the city. 

He dragged his luggage up the steps and sighed in relief and exhaustion. 

He flopped down on the couch and immediately felt alone, despite the comfort of the old, squishy sofa. He got up, and despite the drive, decided to surprise Hannibal. This place was no longer home without him.

oOo

Hannibal was sitting on the couch, watching a some pretentious documentary. The fire was crackling brightly, and in one hand he held a large paper cup with a brown sleeve. He took a small sip, savoring the spicy aroma. 

The door opened, and Hannibal jumped up, somehow managing to hold onto the coffee. 

Will strode in, a huge smile on his face. 

“Hey you!” He exclaimed beaming at Hannibal. The pack ran towards him, almost bowling him over in a sea of furry bodies. 

Hannibal froze, and looked almost... guilty...? 

“Hey...did something happen to one of the dogs?” 

Will was suddenly concerned at the expression. 

“Of course not dear Will. I’m simply surprised. And glad to have you home.” 

Will went to him and put his arms around his neck. Hannibal did not return the hug.

“Hannibal. What the Hell is going on?” Will was grumpy after his trip and just wanted to be held. And then fucked into oblivion.

“Nothing. I’m just sore...from...swimming. You know. Shoulders hurt...”

Hannibal backed up against the counter and tried to subtly throw something into the trash behind him. 

Will frowned. 

“What on Earth?” Will had of course noticed the less than graceful movement. 

At this point, something struck Will. A scent. For a moment he couldn’t place it. Then, after a moment, it hit him. 

“Hannibal Lecter.” Will rose and eyebrow. “Are you drinking a pumpkin spice latte?” 

“Of course not,” said Hannibal, looking deeply offended. 

Will decided to act, and shoved Hannibal away from the counter. He opened the trash can and gaped in horror and delight. 

The can was filled, almost to the brim with empty Starbucks cups. The smell of imitation pumpkin filled the kitchen. 

Will turned back to Hannibal, who had his head in his hands. 

“I...can’t stop...” He said, miserable. 

Will went up to him and put his arms around Hannibal’s waist. 

“You know I love you right? Let’s go grab some   
Starbucks.”


	30. Can I give you a hand?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It's the 30th chapter!! As usual...NO SUMMARY FOR YOU. Kisses though. Lots of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sign me up.
> 
> Also-sorry it's been so long for updates on all my works. Hospital nonsense.

It had been years since Will needed any stimming toys. He was a fidgeter, and began to have stress balls sitting on every surface. He knew well what had brought on the sudden twitchy change. Fucking Hannibal Lecter. He could barely sit through their sessions without attacking the man to lick his neck. He had this fantasy often, within which Hannibal undid his tie, threw it across the room, and let Will eagerly bite and suck. Sadly, Hannibal was impossible to read, serene expression always hiding his true self. Will had never been so horny in his life. His cock was starting to chafe. 

oOo

Jack Crawford rambled on about something. An open and shut case in Will’s opinion. Why Jack needed witnesses for a 3am murder he had no clue. But here they were, sweating in the room, trying to stay awake. Bev had already passed out more than once, head jerking up whenever Zeller poked her in the ribs. 

The door creaked softly, and the few conscious individuals turned around. 

Holy fuck. 

Hannibal Lecter strode in, wearing a pristine 3 piece suit, fitting him snugly in all the right places. Will began to rub his hands together, cracking his knuckles and pulling his hair. It was like he was back in 4th grade. He should have brought a stress ball. 

“Ah” said Jack. “Thank you for coming in Dr. Lecter. Hoping for another opinion.” 

Hannibal nodded graciously, and sought out Will. He smiled, and took the chair beside him in the back row. 

“Hello Will” He whispered. “It’s a bit warm in here.” 

At this point, Hannibal slid out of his suit jacket and laid it carefully over the back of the chair. 

Will coughed, and cracked his neck, trying not to stare. 

“Hey Dr. Lecter. It’s beyond warm I think.” 

Will had nothing else to say. Can I climb into into your lap? Hump your leg? These thoughts raced through Will’s mind a mile a minute. He shook his head, and began to rub his hands together, as if warming them by a fire. 

oOo

Jack droned on, and Will became more agitated. He tugged his curls and tapped his knee continuously. He didn’t dare look at Hannibal.

Hannibal, however, was looking at Will. The other man’s hair was disheveled from torturing it, he was was biting his lip, and constantly moving his fingers up and down his leg. Hannibal decided to act. Fuck it. 

Will was about to step out, when Hannibal lay a gentle hand on his thigh. Will froze, and looked at Hannibal out of the corner of his eye. The older man seemed to be genuinely interested in Jack’s words, all the while moving his hand up Will’s leg. 

Will began to sweat in earnest, and his groin roused eagerly. He was too surprised to be embarrassed, and gulped audibly. Suddenly, Hannibal’s hand reached its destination. He began to discreetly rub Will’s crotch, the room too sleepy and sedate to notice anything untoward going on in the back of the room. 

oOo

Will squeaked, and clenched his hands until the skin was tight against his knuckles. Hannibal began to use his deft fingers, stroking Will’s now very apparent erection. Will leaned back in his chair and licked his lips. Something hot began to swirl in his belly. 

Hannibal, feeling the younger man’s cock begin to leak through his pants, roughly grabbed at his crotch.

Will came with a stifled groan. He head was thrown back, and for the moment, he didn’t give a flying fuck if anyone had seen the hidden handy. He was sated and happy, limbs blissfully heavy. 

OoO

Hannibal then stood, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. He didn’t even glance at Will, who was now breathing evenly. 

"Alternative form of therapy I suppose", thought Will, attempting to cover his damp trousers with his dilapidated bag. Jack finished, and people began to shuffle out of their seats. Will darted out, power walking down the hallway to the safety of his car. He planned to make a stop on the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See what I did there? With the title??


	31. Double Date Disaster; Or, Hannibal gets black out drunk.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doesn't the title say it all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've all been there buddy.

Alana sidled into Hannibal’s office.

“Hello Alana” He said, not even turning around. 

Alana chuckled. 

“Is my perfume that obvious”?

“Yes”, replied Hannibal. “And your inability to walk correctly in heels.”

“I’m going to ignore that.” She came back at him, sounding aloof. Hannibal spun around in his high backed chair and eyed Alana with curiosity. She rarely made house calls.

“What can I do for you Dr. Bloom?” 

Alana perched on the side of his desk. 

“Bev and I have reservations at Thames Street Oyster House tonight. And you are our plus one.”

“Plus one?” He asked, searching her face for dubious motives.

“Our third canceled.” She said, blase. 

Hannibal thought for a moment. Oysters. God he loved oysters, more than he disliked the idea of being a “third wheel”."

“Fine”. Said Hannibal, looking stoic. “What time.” 

“8:30“ Answered Alana, hopping off the desk. “We’ll meet you there.”  
oOo

Hannibal, as usual, was on time to the minute. Alana and Bev, he saw, had just arrived. Alana beamed at him, and motioned him over. 

“Hannibal! You won’t believe our luck! Our third was able to join us after all.” Alana was bouncing slightly in her pumps, while Bev gripped her arm subtly. 

Before Hannibal could analyze her behavior, a tall graceful woman floated over. Her blonde hair was perfectly coiffed, and her features were soft and alluring. 

“Hannibal Lecter, this is Lisa Ryan.” Alana presented her proudly.

Hannibal recognized Lisa Ryan immediately. They ran in the same social circles, each frequenting the same concerts and benefits.

“Ms. Ryan” said Hannibal, taking her hand gently, and slightly bowing. 

“Dr. Lecter” she purred. “I’ve hoped to officially meet you for some time. Of course I’ve read your most recent publication.” 

Hannibal smiled thinly.

“Ms. Ryan, Ms. Katz, may I steal Dr. Bloom for a moment?” 

Without waiting for an answer, he pulled Alana harshly away by the elbow.

“Alana Bloom. I know exactly what you’re doing. For the love of god, Lisa Ryan? Her divorce hasn’t even gone through!”

Alana pouted. “Hannibal. She’s lovely, accomplished, and interesting. Please. Just throw me a bone. You don’t have to marry her. Just get laid for Christ sake.” 

Hannibal shut his eyes for a moment. The only thing that swam behind his lids was Will Graham. Beautiful, fascinating, perfect Will Graham. Lisa Ryan paled in comparison. The younger man had no idea that every time he bent over in those terrible Khakis the vision of his ass followed Hannibal everywhere. To be perfectly honest, he was running out of his organic, pomegranate lube.

“Fine.” He agreed. At least this...“date” would cover up the real object of his obsession.

oOo

Lisa Ryan sat comfortably next to Hannibal, as Bev animatedly relayed a story about she and Alana’s trip to Paris. Lisa laughed in all the right places, and smiled as Alana gave Bev a kiss on the cheek. Hannibal was barely feigning interest as the stately woman rambled on about her own charitable events. She laid her hand frequently on Hannibal’s.

oOo

The first bottle of wine disappeared quickly between the four of them. The second was drained in half hour, and the third...well...mostly went down Hannibal’s own throat. None of the women noticed as Hannibal became more intoxicated. They were all well past tipsy, and Lisa Ryan became a bit...familiar. She put her hand behind Hannibal’s neck and gently pulled his hair. Before long her foot was halfway up his leg, heel biting into his sock. 

Hannibal had had more than enough. 

“WILL” Hannibal yelled, standing abruptly and knocking over an empty wine glass. “I’M IN LOVE WITH WILL!”

oOo

“Excuse me?’ Lisa looked up, confused. 

“Will Graham.” said Hannibal, finally sitting down and putting his face in his hands. 

“I’m in love with Will Graham.” His voice was muffled.

Hannibal gulped and his head lolled slightly. 

Bev was incredulous and blinked at Hannibal in shock. 

Lisa looked at Alana, offended. 

“Dr. Bloom. Is there something you forgot to mention when you invited me here this evening?”

The woman was seething at this point, murderously glancing from Hannibal to the clearly embarrassed Alana.

“Oh William." Rambled on Hannibal drunkenly. “My dear, perfect, lovely William." He then grabbed his wallet, throwing several large bills onto the table. 

“Have a wonderful evening Ms. Ryan” he hiccuped. He even nodded sarcastically at the stunned Alana and Bev. 

 

oOo

Will was dozing, halfway dreaming with his dogs snoozing around him. He started up at a deafening thumping on the door. 

He jumped up, scattering dogs in every direction. Will stumbled to the door, and looked through the peep hole. He gasped and flung it open. Dr. Hannibal Lecter practically fell into his arms, completely unable to stay upright. 

“Hannibal...er...Dr. Lecter?" Will blushed at his familiarity, despite the completely oblivious man in front of him. 

Will led Hannibal to the couch, struggling under his weight. 

“Jesus,” said Will aloud as the dogs sniffed the new human with interest. “How much do you work out?”

Hannibal chuckled thickly and sank into Will’s sofa. 

“Umm, ok,” began Will. “You need water? Or maybe coffee? A shower?” 

“Ahh dear Will. I’m sure all 3 would suffice.” 

Did Hannibal wink at him? 

“How much did you have to drink?” Will frowned, somewhere between disturbed and amused. 

“It's of no matter William. Now, if you wouldn't mind, may I use your shower?"

Will took deep several breaths before he hefted the doctor to his feet. 

TBC


	32. Double Date Disaster Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wouldn't you like to know you greedy little things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE LONG AWAITED PART II. I know you've all been waiting with bated breath and staying home from work.

Will was able to get Hannibal to the bathroom successfully. The larger man leaned against the sink with his eyes closed, apparently floating in some happy cloud. Will started the water, and turned to Hannibal. 

“I trust you can get undressed” He asked, feeling his stomach clench warmly. 

Hannibal began to open his shirt slowly, revealing soft, greying hair. Will stared for a few long moments as he continued, button by button. He was almost at his abdomen when Will shook his head, and turned, slamming the bathroom door behind him. 

oOo

Will was pouring two mugs of coffee when he heard the water shut off. He gulped down the scalding liquid, nervous for some reason. His hand shook slightly, and he set the mug down harder than he meant to. 

There were foot steps on the stairs, and Hannibal appeared. In a towel. Barely wrapped around his waist. 

Will let out a slow breath. He had to stop lying to himself. He wanted to run his fingers through that hair, down Hannibal’s torso to his belly. The trail of hair leading south teased him into a frenzy he could barely suppress. 

Hannibal walked unsteadily towards the table where Will sat, and took the seat across from him. He picked up his mug and moaned as the liquid burned his throat. 

“Will. This is the best coffee I’ve ever had in my life.” His head wobbled a bit. 

Will had to laugh. 

“Hannibal. It’s fucking Folgers.” 

“Mmmm” returned Hannibal. “Is it Turkish?” 

Will sighed and put his head in his hands, shaking with laughter. 

When he looked up Hannibal was staring at him. Hungry, wild, feral. Will stared back, making that rare eye contact, reserved only for the deserving. Hannibal stood up, and walked around the table to stand behind Will. He pushed his chest into will’s back, and sniffed his neck. Will’s eyes fluttered, and he could barely conceal a gratuitous whine. 

Screw it. 

oOo

Will leapt up and turned, grabbing at Hannibal’s chest. Hannibal threw his head back, and slipped his hands around Will’s waist, tickling at the band of his thin pajamas. Will nuzzled his neck and Hannibal pulled away briefly. Hannibal growled dangerously, sounding carnivorous and devastatingly sexy. 

Their lips met and Hannibal, drunk and uninhibited, shoved his tongue into Will’s mouth. Will was unsteady, and Hannibal grabbed him, dragging him towards the couch. The dogs watched from a corner, terrified and confused. Do they attack? Go back to sleep? They chose the latter, and curled up together. 

Hannibal’s towel had long fallen off, and he jumped on top of Will, pushing him roughly into the cushions. 

“Fuck Hannibal.” Will had no other words. 

Hannibal bit into Will’s neck and began to grind their substantial erections together. 

“Willllll....” moaned Hannibal, grabbing Will’s curls.

Their thrusts became harder and less coordinated. 

Then Hannibal, without warning, practically screamed, 

“FUCK WILL I LOVE YOUR COCK”. 

He shuddered as he came, and preceded to fall of the couch. 

“Jesus Hannibal are you...” He trailed off. 

Hannibal had passed to fuck out, covered in sticky fluid. 

Will laughed, and went to grab blankets. 

TBC!


	33. Double Date Disaster Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning afters are rough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part III...

Hannibal was certainly not in his bed. Or any bed. He was warm enough, but his back was screaming. 

“Ugghhhhhh” he moaned, trying to sit up. He was far too old for these shennanigans. 

He peeked through his lids and quickly shut them again, memories from the previous night pushing through his thick mental fog. 

Oh god. Lisa Ryan. Oh god. Wine. Oh god. Will Graham. 

He had, if he correctly recalled, attacked poor Will. And, if his current state had anything to say about it, he had done so completely naked. 

He heard a shuffling. Will Graham himself was draped over the sofa, snoring adorably. He had to quietly extract himself without waking the young man. One of Will’s mangy curs had noticed his wakeful state, and went to nudge his elbow. 

Hannibal looked at the animal and put his finger to his lips. The dog seemed to understand, and lay down on the floor next to him. Hannibal patted it awkwardly on the head, and the dog began to drift. 

The only sounds Hannibal was unable to suppress were the creaking of his knees. The rest of the pack seemed to not give a fuck, and just watched him blearily. 

Will turned over in his sleep and Hannibal froze, trousers half off, boxers nowhere to be seen. Will had politely placed his pants and shirt on the kitchen table. Had he showered? Hannibal threw on his clothes and ran for it. 

He was halfway down the front steps when he realized with panic, he had no car. He DID remember taking an uber to fucking Wolftrap. He had bribed a 20 something with 300$ and a free session. 

There was no way on god’s green earth he was waking up Will. Who he was pretty sure he molested. He reached into the front pocket of his jacket, and found what he was looking for. The young man, slightly high and $300 richer, had given Hannibal his personal info. 

oOo

An hour later, the uber, thank god, appeared at the end of the drive. Hannibal ran down to meet it, and shut his door without slamming it. 

The young man smirked. 

“Someone had a good night...” He winked at the doctor. 

“Drive Aaron.” Was all Hannibal said. Aaron shrugged, excited at the prospect of what was now 600$. He could finally buy a bong of his very own. 

oOo

 

Will woke relatively well rested. He had always liked his old lumpy sofa. He heard to dogs begin to stir. He grinned, thinking fondly on the events of the previous evening. He glanced down, expecting to see Hannibal still wiped out on the floor covered in blankets. 

He was surprised to find that his overnight guest was gone. He sat up. 

“Hannibal?” He called out into the silent room. 

There was no answer. He stood up and stretched. He let the dogs out to pee and play and went to search the house. Empty. How had Hannibal even gotten there? There’s no way he drove. Will found himself embarrassed and disappointed. He had completely taken advantage of his drunk psychiatrist. It was no wonder the man decided to head for the hills. 

Will made coffee and sat on the porch watching the dogs frolick. He had to talk to Hannibal. Apologize, whatever. He pushed it out of his mind for the moment and got ready for work.


	34. You Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strong Willed. You'll see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so long coming (hah). I've just moved and have been settling in. Getting back into normal-ish-ness.

“Hannibal, it’s your turn to pick up the dog poop.” Will didn’t even look away from Animal Planet.

“Pardon me?” Inquired Hannibal, momentarily laying his knife on the cutting board. 

“You heard me. You agreed last week. While you were puking over the side of the bed after Alana’s birthday party. And I haven’t heard a proper apology to Buster.” 

Buster, sadly, had been in the line of fire. Bathing both a psychiatrist and a dog at 3am was not Will’s idea of a great time. The post party fuck fest was officially off the books.

“Will. I have no memory of that. You can’t hold me to something I don’t remember.” Hannibal sniffed and continued to chop.

Will jumped off the couch and sat at the bar, glaring at his partner. 

“Um, you’d better be kidding.” Will was becoming genuinely pissed off. 

“I assure you. I am not. Now will you turn that off and get the roast out of the oven?” 

Will gave Hannibal the death eye, and stomped off to the bedroom, slamming the door.

oOo

Hannibal knocked softly on the bedroom door. One or two of the dogs followed. 

“Will?” 

“Come in” Will replied stiffly. 

Hannibal entered, and saw Will sitting on the bed reading The Goblet of Fire for the ninth time. 

Will closed his book, and turned to Hannibal. 

“I have come to a decision.” Will said in a no nonsense tone.

“Do tell.” Hannibal sat down on the edge of the bed, careful to give Will a little space. 

“A bet.” Will’s face was emotionless. 

“A...bet?” Hannibal was completely befuddled. Very unusual for him.

“Yes. Your suits.” 

“My suits?” Hannibal stared at him.

“Yes. These are the terms of the bet. If you can survive a week without your precious suits I’ll pick up the dog shit. If you can’t? You’re grabbing the pooper scooper.” Will’s lips formed a straight line after this speech.

“Will. This is completely childish. We decided the...feces was your responsibility. I agreed without knowledge. Doesn’t count.” Now Hannibal was becoming visually angry. 

“If you ever want sex again, its a week of t-shirts and jeans.” Will was immovable.

Hannibal sighed. He could choose to refuse, but...angry Will usually equaled fast food and the silent treatment. Even worse, Hannibal was left with painful, unresolved erections. His right hand could only take so much abuse. After the last battle he had trouble holding pens for almost a week. Franklyn had even offered him a hand massage. He almost took him up on his offer.

This wouldn’t be terrible. He had a few black Prada v-necks and a pair of $350 True Religions Alana had bullied him into buying. 

Will interrupted his thoughts.

“And NOT the Prada.”

Was Will a fucking psychic now? 

“I’m talking Target t-shirts. The ones that come in a 6 pack. You can grab jeans while you’re there. And no sex until Sunday.”

Will had slipped into Officer Graham mode. Hannibal was getting hard already. 

“Fine.” Hannibal reached over to shake Will’s hand. 

Hannibal took the opportunity to yank Will him towards him, and kiss him roughly. 

Will began to move away, until Hannibal thrust his hand down the back of his Pjs. 

Will sighed in defeat. 

“Alright Lecter. One more time. But I’m on top.” 

oOo

Hannibal stared down at the bag on his bed. A plastic package of white t-shirts. They were of course out of black. He could barely touch the jeans without shivering. He may end up elbow deep in dog crap by the end of the week. 

oOo

Hannibal strolled into the kitchen Monday morning to make coffee. Will was already awake and dressed for work. He turned around to greet Hannibal and grinned like the Cheshire cat. 

His t-shirt was white, polyester, and so thin you could practically see through it. His jeans...his jeans were actually whiskered, and fit his ass awkwardly. The bottoms fell slightly over his running shoes, and the knees were baggy.

Will laughed, a full throat-ed, head thrown back, heartless laugh. 

He finally stopped for breath while Hannibal silently prepared his coffee. 

“Guess they didn’t have much to choose from huh? You’re so trendy!” 

Will started giggling again. He would be more than happy gathering turds from the yard to watch Hannibal stroll around in $25 denim. 

Hannibal said nothing and turned to leave. He grabbed his long, dressy black coat from the rack. 

“EH!” Will made the same sound he made at the dogs when they were begging. 

“Nope.” Will walked up and rummaged through the front closet. He pulled out a hoodie, and handed it to the other man. 

Hannibal simply grimaced and grabbed it roughly. He left, slamming the door as hard as possible. Will grinned and went to sit and enjoy a solitary cup of coffee.

oOo

Hannibal walked into his office. Thankfully his first appointment hadn’t arrived. He thought about the extra suit he had hanging in the coat closet, for coffee spill emergencies and what not. He stroked the soft wool sleeve. He knew better. Will would know immediately.

He heard a knock on the door. Franklyn. Right on fucking time. He couldn’t believe he was embarrassed in front of Franklyn Froideveaux. 

“Doctor Lecter it’s so nice to see...”

Franklyn trailed off. 

His usually sharp, perfectly arranged psychiatrist was in a t-shirt. A plain, white t-shirt. Franklyn gulped. It was essentially see-through, and he was wearing jeans. Actual jeans.

“Doctor..are you um...are you alright.” 

Hannibal was breathing through his nose, trying to ignore the temptation to punch Franklyn in the face. 

“I assure you Franklyn. I’m perfectly well.” Hannibal attempted to keep up his usual calm, stoic demeanor. 

Franklyn couldn’t stop staring at what he thought were the subtle outlines of nipples. Hannibal of course saw his gaze and gritted his teeth. Will fucking Graham. 

oOo

On day 3 Hannibal was close to breaking. He had fielded endless questions about his well being from not only patients, but his dry cleaner, his butcher, and several shocked women at the farmer’s market. He ended up walking the streets of Baltimore with the hoodie pulled over his face like a sulky, horny teenager. 

oOo

Hannibal finally cracked on day 4. 

The doctor walked stiffly into the BAU. He had been emotionally preparing himself for some time, giving himself half hearted pep talks. 

He entered the morgue, and Jack looked over his shoulder briefly. 

“Dr. Lecter. Thank you for coming in.” 

Bev noticed first. Her mouth dropped and she stared openly. 

Jack gasped. 

“Hannibal my god! Are you ok? What happened??”

At this point Will, who was standing in a corner, lost his shit. He laughed until he cried, holding onto Bev to keep himself from collapsing onto a corpse. 

“Enough!” Hannibal yelled, eyes bugging out of his head. 

Will barely flinched and tried to take deep breaths. 

“You win!” Hannibal bellowed, glaring at Will. 

“Tell me Hannibal. What do I win?” Will was smug.

“I’ll pick up the shit! All the shit! And I’ll apologize to Buster! And then pick up more shit!”

Will lifted his hands to the sky in victory, but it was short lived. 

Hannibal threw the hoodie right into Will’s face and stormed out of the BAU. 

oOo

Will walked into the house, quietly placing his keys on the small table by the door. He heard the clicking of nails, and a few dogs greeted him sleepily. It had been a late night. 

He glanced into the study, expecting to see Hannibal pouting at his desk sketching. It was empty. He checked the bedroom, the bathrooms. It was silent. He walked into the living room, and heard a muffled grunt. 

He went to the sliding glass doors. There was Hannibal Lecter, using a portable spot light, angrily scooping up dog poop like his life depended on it. 

He pulled the door open. 

“Hannibal.” 

Hannibal glanced up and went back to his work. He was wearing the same hoodie and pair of running pants. 

Will walked out towards him, hugging his own shoulders against the chill. 

“Hannibal. Come inside. It’s almost midnight.” 

Hannibal stopped for a moment, leaning on the pooper scooper.

“You won fair and square Will. I’m just holding up my end of the...”

Hannibal was never able to finish his sentence. 

Will grabbed him by that stupid hoodie and kissed him. Hard. Their noses bashed together painfully but Will was not deterred. 

At this point Hannibal took over. He dragged Will to the door, shedding his gloves, hoodie, and poop encrusted boots. They fell into the house, and Hannibal pushed Will onto the couch. 

Will ran his hands down Hannibal’s chest and frowned. 

“You’re still wearing the shirt...” 

Hannibal looked down at the white fabric. 

“I suppose I am.” He began to strip it off when Will grabbed it by the hem. 

“Leave it on” Will growled, and leaned up to latch onto one of Hannibal’s barely visible nipples. 

Hannibal didn’t have to be told twice. He shimmied out of his pants, wearing nothing but the cheap disgusting shirt. 

Will was able to shed his own pants, and soon clothes were strewn around the living room. The dogs stalked off, used to this behavior. 

Will pushed Hannibal off him. 

“Get up and turn over” ordered Officer Graham. 

Hannibal stood and let Will slip out from under him, allowing Hannibal to lie on his stomach.

Will surveyed the feast before him. 

“Spread your legs.” 

Hannibal complied, and soon he felt Will’s slick tongue between his cheeks. 

They moaned together, and Will began to tease Hannibal’s hole, tickling the clenched muscle. 

Hannibal rocked back into him, Will’s tongue now stiff and completely invading Hannibal’s opening. It had been a long 4 days, and Hannibal came with a shout, coating the white shirt and Egyptian cotton sheets. Will had also been a little hard up, and with a few erratic pumps, groaned as warm fluid coated Hannibal’s back. 

They both lay panting like dogs, unable to move. 

Will was the first to speak. 

“Hannibal”. 

“Yes my love?” Hannibal asked, content just to lay there forever.

“Keep the shirt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick side note. I actually love Target.


	35. Yer a wizard Hanni

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Ok. This is short, but I really wanted to publish something. I'm, working on the next chapter right now. I can promise silliness and smut. Stay with me. Moving has been Hell on Earth.

Hannibal opened the door with a sigh of relief. It had been a long, Franklyn filled day. He heard the click of nails on the floor, and Warren toddled up to him, wagging his tail. The 3 legged beast had become attached to Hannibal, to Will’s absolute delight. During a normal investigation, Will had stumbled upon a dog fighting ring. After he beat the living shit out of 3 gigantic dudes, the dogs were gathered up and adopted. Warren wouldn’t leave Hannibal’s side, and happily joined the pack. 

“Will?” He called, setting his bag on the table. 

He heard a soft, “Hmmm” coming from the living room. 

He strolled in to find Will laying on the couch in front of the fire, covered in dogs. There was a familiar looking book in his lap. 

“Really Will” he began, rolling his eyes. “How many times have you read those books?” 

Will looked up, dazed, coming back into reality. 

“Hey you!” He smiled. He hadn’t heard the other man enter. 

“Will. I asked you a question.” Hannibal sounded like he was scolding a guilty child. 

“Oh. Who knows. I’ve lost track.” Will still looked a little floaty. 

Without another word, he picked up Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and ignored the rest of the world. 

oOo

“I got you something today.” 

Hannibal and Will were in bed, slightly sweaty, and very sticky. Will’s mop was delightfully disheveled, and Hannibal ran his fingers through the damp curls. 

“Is that so?” Will asked, moving closer to Hannibal stroking his chest hair. Will couldn’t get enough of the soft, greying triangle reaching from Hannibal’s pectorals down to his abdomen. He also thoroughly enjoyed where it ended up. His soft cock was already halfway interested. He began to rub it gently on Hannibal’s thigh. 

“William. None of that. You aren’t 15 anymore. You’ll pull a hamstring”. 

Will pouted. 

“So, Doctor Lecter. What did you get me? Leather whip? Chaps? French tickler? Cheetos?” 

“I have no idea what Cheetos are Professor Graham, and I beg you not to enlighten me. Give me a moment.” 

Hannibal rolled out of bed, still completely nude. 

Will watched him walk away, and thought of Jack and crime scenes to soften his current erection.

oOo

Hannibal returned with a small brown package. He hopped back into bed, making the mattress bounce. He threw the comforter over the both of them, and sat up against the headboard. Will mirrored him, eyeing the package. 

Hannibal handed it to Will silently. 

He ripped open the paper and stared at the gift for a moment. It was a book. 

“The River Why?” Will asked, reading the title. 

“Indeed. It’s about fly fishing. You need to branch out. You didn’t get your Hogwarts letter, and you never will.” 

“That’s the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.” Returned Will, half joking. “And how do you know about Hogwarts?” 

“I don’t live under a rock you know” sniffed Hannibal. 

Will stared at the book a moment. 

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll read your book, you read mine.” 

“William...you aren’t suggesting...”

“I am good sir. You read books 1-7. I’ll read whatever this is.” 

Hannibal balked at his lover. 

“It’s not quite fair. You read one book and I read seven?” 

Will shrugged. 

“Take it or leave it.” Will was stern, which Hannibal found deeply arousing. 

“Whatever you say officer Graham.” 

That did it. Will’s mouth was on Hannibal’s cock in about 3 seconds. 

oOo

To be continued.........I promise....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is kind of based on a true story. My spouse has been trying to get me to read this book for ages. But I can't stop reading the same shit over and over.


	36. Poor Will Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh Willy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys. My first Hanni is Human in a long time. I hope you enjoy!!! I'm writing this in 2 parts, just wanted to get the first part out there. Your continued support keeps me going! 
> 
> Xo

“Will?” 

Will held his phone up to his ear and blinked slowly.

“What the hell Jack. It’s 1:15 in the morning. This better be a butt dial”.

Jack sighed audibly. 

“It’s Hannibal.”

Will sat up straight and flipped on the lamp. His newest Great Dane mix Titan sidled onto his abandoned pillow.

“For the love of God Jack just tell me-”

He was cut off by fumbling on the other line. 

“William” a voice purred. 

“Hannibal?”

“Yes Will. It’s me. Dr. Lecter. But you may call me daddy.”

Will’s mouth fell open. He reached down and pinched his thigh. Was this reality?

oOo

Will heard Jack thumping in the background, and he assumed he was attempting to rescue his phone. He heard stomping feet and a muffled-

“Dammit Hannibal! Get back here!”

There was heavy breathing on the line. 

“Will...” Hannibal trailed off. There was a combination hiccup/sneeze and he continued. 

“Will. I want to lick your beard.” 

Will froze. 

“And you eyeballs. Can I lick your eyeballs? Fuck me. And your lashes. Like...like tiny curtains on your face.”

There was a loud “whump” and a giggle.

“Will!” Jack was winded. “Lord he’s fast.”

“Jack, tell me what happened” Will pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“He’s drunk.”

“I gathered that”, Will responded sarcastically. 

“I came to his office to get his input on something. We had a few glasses of whiskey...and then moved onto wine. I think it was the second bottle of Merlot that pushed him over the edge. Or possibly the Jager bomb.”

Will stored the Jager info for another time. 

He heard a faint squeaking sound in the background. 

“Hannibal! Stop spinning around in that chair! You’ll puke on your desk!”

“Will, the man will not shut up about you. He won’t let me drive him home.”

“Alright” said Will, already looking for pants. “Give me an hour.”

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wink


	37. Poor Will Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trap Wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part II mah behbehs. Enjoy!!

Will pulled up into the driveway holding a strong cup of coffee. He walked up to the door and raised a fist to knock when Jack flung it open dramatically. He held a finger up to his lips.

“He’s asleep” Jack hissed. “Well, passed the fuck out is probably more accurate.”

He lead Will up the stairs and into the office. Hannibal was curled up on a rug by the fireplace happily cradling what looked liked a fluffy dish towel.

Jack began to whisper-yell in Will’s ear. 

“He can’t sleep here. That $2000 settee or what ever the Hell it is is being re-upholstered. And honestly, I don’t know what either of those words mean.”

“Alright.” Will chewed his thumbnail. 

“We’d better get him out of here. I’ll drive him home.”

oOo

Will urged Jack to leave and get some sleep-which would probably be on the goddamn couch judging by Bella’s tone when she called. 

Will approached Hannibal slowly; But apparently even in his current state his instincts were still on point. His head snapped up and he grinned, bearing sharp predator’s teeth. Will felt something warm stir in his belly. Another fun existential crisis to deal with.

“Will” Hannibal slurred. “What to do you owe the pleasure.” 

Will couldn’t help but smile at whatever it was that Hannibal had just attempted to say. 

“Hi” returned Will gently. “Let’s get you home ok?”

Hannibal made to rise and wobbled. Will wasn’t quite quick enough and Hannibal topped back and fell about a foot from the dying fire.

“Jesus Hannibal! The fire!”

Hannibal only chuckled and answered, 

“You mean the fire in my pants.”

That feeling tugged at Will’s abdomen yet again. God. Was he that easy?

oOo

Will somehow managed to hoist Hannibal up, and half way carry him down the stairs. At the bottom Will leaned him up against the wall. 

“Will.” Hannibal then began to sloppily open his shirt. “Would you like to see my chest hair. It’s soooo soft. Like...petting a kitten.”

“God Hannibal no!”

Will had to admit to himself that wasn’t completely true.

After 10 minutes of struggle, and Hannibal’s wandering hands, they were both safely buckled into Will’s car.

“Alright Hannibal. Do you have your house keys?” Will held out an expectant palm.

“Nope” smiled Hannibal strangely. “At the office.”

Will groaned. 

“Christ Hannibal! I locked the office behind me!”

“Oh well” purred Hannibal. “Guess we’re off to Trap Wolf”.

Will closed his eyes. They did appear to be off to Trap Wolf.

oOo

Will hoped, God willing, the doctor would pass out in the car. No such luck. Will had to slap his hand away from his thigh multiple times. He ended up driving one handed, right hand clamped on Hannibal’s wrist.

Which, he figured, was the devious bastard’s intent all along.

oOo

After what seemed like hours, they crunched down Will’s driveway. Will looked at his phone. 3:30 am. If there were any cases today Jack could go fuck himself. 

“Hannibal. Hannibal we’re here.” 

Hannibal roused and blinked at Will. His eyes were glazed and he was sporting a lazy smirk. 

“Will” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes like a sleepy child. 

“We’re in Wolf Trap. Let’s go in and get you to bed.”

Hannibal didn’t argue, and let the other man lead him into the house. 

The dogs didn’t give a flying fuck when the two entered. Hannibal was clinging to Will, booze still heavy in his system. They limped into the living room and Will dropped Hannibal onto the couch. 

“God you’re heavy.” Will stretched and cracked his back. 

“You bet I am” muttered Hannibal. He then immediately crashed onto his side and fell asleep. 

Will tossed a blanket over him and shuffled to his bedroom. Titan was still snuggled up on his pillow. 

oOo

Will had barely drifted off when he felt a warm presence at his back. 

“Winston c’mon. Scooch.”

Winston did not scooch. But he did start to gyrate against Will’s butt cheeks. 

Suddenly there was a large hand on his flaccid cock. 

“HANNIBAL!” 

“Mmmm Will” was Hannibal’s only answer as he continued to thrust between Will’s ass cheeks. 

To Will’s embarrassment his penis began to grow. And grow. And grow. It was Jack and the fucking bean stalk. 

“Fuck it” He said aloud.

He thrust back roughly against Hannibal, until-

“OH GOD OFFICER GRAHAM!!!” 

Warmth spread over Will’s ass, and before he could stop himself he burst into Hannibal’s fist and screamed- 

“FUCK YES DADDY!”

Hannibal flopped down and immediately began to snore. Will stared at the ceiling, cum cooling on his pajamas. 

What. Just. Happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you likey! 
> 
> xoxoxo


	38. Poor Jack Part IV; or, Poor everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hallopeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your amazing support and compliments! You guys are fantastic.

Will was pouting in the office, his arms crossed across his chest like petulant 8 year old. An invitation to Jack and Bella’s annual Halloween bash lay between them on Hannibal’s desk, next to a few pencils and a half finished fly.

Titan, the giant bastard, was laying under Hannibal’s desk drooling on his cashmere socks. 

“Why can’t we just stay here?” Will whined. “It’s fucking Halloween. Not some actual holiday. We can sit on the couch and eat Snickers. In fact, you can even fuck me with a Snickers if you want.”

Hannibal did not take the bait.

“As...interesting as that sounds I have to decline. And I just RSVP’d to Bella. For both of us.”

oOo

Hannibal decided on Sherlock Holmes. He idolized him some, and the doctor happened to look great in a tweed cape. Who knew.

Will had been less creative, and opted for a cheap cop’s uniform he had found online. Fake badge, fake hat, and a pair of very real handcuffs he grabbed from from his bottom drawer. The costume was a little tight, but he planned to make an appearance for maybe 45 minutes. An hour if the drinks were good. 

Will strolled out into the living room. 

“Alright Holmes. Let’s hit the road.”

Hannibal saw Will and stopped breathing. Will was in full police attire. Navy blue shirt, utility belt, and a fake badge pinned to his chest. 

And then there were the pants, which had obviously been ordered at least a size too small. His thighs looked amazing of course, but the real show stopper was the subtle out line of his cock, nestled slightly to the left of his zipper.

Hannibal fought for breathe. Did he have an inhaler? Did he even have Asthma? He couldn’t remember. 

Will squinted at him. 

“You alright there Sherlock?” 

Hannibal snapped out of it, and hoped his very happy erection would as well. 

oOo

Hannibal was almost silent on the drive to Jack’s. Will tried a few topics but was answered with non-committal noises. 

“What’s going on with you?" Will put his hand on Hannibal’s thigh. 

Hannibal smiled tightly.

“Nothing dear Will. Just focusing on the road."

oOo

Jack and Bella’s looked incredible of course. Bella had a knack for making things elegant, while also creating a feeling of comfort and warmth.

There were spider webs twinkling with fairy lights draped over the window sills, and jack o’ lanterns grinning at guests from the tables and fireplace mantle.

“Dr. Lecter! Will! Please come in. Let me grab your coats.” Bella swept towards them, dressed in rustling Victorian garb.

“Very nice gentlemen!” She beamed at their costumes. 

Hannibal tried to keep his eyes (and hands) to himself when cop Will revealed his outfit. 

“Will!” Bev came bounding over, clad in an obviously home-made attempt at cat woman. 

“Guys!” She gushed, swaying slightly with a drink in her paw. 

“I’m so glad you came! The bar is awesome! Jesus Graham you look like a stripper!” She slapped Will’s butt and cackled, dribbling the drink into her cleavage. 

Will rolled his eyes and Hannibal quietly removed himself to the bar. He didn’t know if he could survive the evening with Will’s package taunting him. He was turning into a horny, panting mess. He glanced back across the room and caught sight of Will, bending over to retrieve a dropped pair of handcuffs. Jesus Christ.

Hannibal stalked back up to Will from the bar, and thrust a drink into his hand without saying a word. He then disappeared into the crowd, still silent.

“What’s his damage?” Bev raised her eye brows. 

“No clue” answered Will, and left to find his detective.

oOo

Hannibal was sitting on a sofa in the corner of the room, sipping red wine.

Will walked up to him and crossed his arms. 

“Hannibal. What in the Hell could possibly be wrong?”

Hannibal peeked up at Will. The man had unbuttoned his stiff collar, showing off his neck and clavicle.

Hannibal stood, and in one fluid motion yanked Will by the sleeve and down the hallway. 

“Hannibal what-”

He was cut off when Hannibal threw him into the bathroom, slamming the door behind them. 

“Officer Graham” Hannibal growled, pinning Will’s hips against the sink. 

A light flickered on in Will’s brain. 

“Oh my God Hannibal. It’s the uniform. You have a fucking uniform kink! No wonder you’ve been so weird and sweaty!”

Will, at this point, noticed Hannibal’s rather...apparent erection. 

Will laughed loudly, tears coming to his eyes. 

“Jesus! That thing is going to rip through your pants! I hope you didn’t rent them!”

Will laughed again and wiped his face. 

Hannibal had had enough cheek. He lunged at Will, and aggressively grabbed his groin. 

“Shut the fuck up Officer Graham.”

Hannibal dropped to his knees, and before Will could protest, his cock had flopped out of his zipper.

It was half a second before that mouth was on him. That sinful tongue. Those soft lips. It was a mouth begging to be fucked.

Will grew into Hannibal’s throat in record time. Hannibal decided at this point to free himself, and began to jerk his hand wildly up and down. 

Sherlock Holmes was giving a copper a fucking BJ. 

oOo

Will was almost there, something delicious curling up into his belly. 

So fucking close, and then-

“YOU ASSHOLES!”!

Someone had burst into the room. That person being Jack Crawford, dressed perfectly as Morpheus. 

Will’s cock slid out of Hannibal’s mouth, wilting rather quickly.

Jack carefully put his sunglasses back on, and said evenly-

“I hate you both. Deeply. And there had better not be a drop anywhere. ANYWHERE you hear me? And keep your hands off those monogrammed towels. They were a wedding present.”

He left and slammed the door, leaving a trail of curses in his wake. 

Will collapsed back against the sink and looked down at Hannibal, who was still on his knees. 

“Home then?” Asked Will, taking a moment to adjust himself. 

Hannibal grinned and put the pipe back between his teeth. 

“Home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want a Snickers now.


	39. Yeah. I don't think so.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oooo Hanni

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: non-con if you squint-more like ew. 
> 
> I'M BACK.
> 
> Thank you all for your amazing support!

Hannibal sat with his legs crossed, comfortably seated in his preferred leather arm chair. He checked his ridiculous pocket watch and grimaced. 

Will was late. 

He got up and paced, glancing at his books. He sat down at his desk and fiddled around absentmindedly with his pencils. He smudged a drawing here and there, added a fruitless line. Hannibal was about to discount the younger man and lock up when the door was thrown open with so much force it slammed into the wall behind. 

Hannibal, who was rarely startled, jumped.

“God Hannibal I’m so sorry!” Will blurted out breathlessly. 

Hannibal looked at him, with his all but invisible eyebrows raised. 

“Is everything alright Will?” 

Will sighed. 

“Honestly I have no idea.” 

Hannibal frowned, concerned. 

“Please sit down and explain.” Hannibal pointed at the opposite chair and Will threw himself down, still breathing heavily. 

oOo

They were both seated. Hannibal was silent, staring at Will. Will, however, adverted his eyes, looking everywhere and blushing. 

“I Um.” Will muttered. “I had a date”.

Hannibal tried to control himself. He really did. He closed his eyes, went to his memory palace, where he was surrounded by kittens. Fluffy ones. 

“It sort of went over. I...lost track of time.” Will was completely and utterly embarrassed. 

Hannibal clenched his jaw until he audibly began to grind down his molars. 

He was finally ready to admit it to himself. Will Graham. Will Graham with his plaid fucking shirts and Grandpa Khakis and smelly dogs was Hannibal's alone.

Will continued. 

“We were just kind of chatting and I forgot and...well. That’s sort of all.”

oOo

The session was strained. Will was almost silent, and Hannibal’s questions were benign. Will left with a flaccid handshake. 

Hannibal sat alone in the office. Perfectly still. He needed a plan. A devious plan. A plan that hopefully led to penis things. 

oOo

Will wasn’t really sure about the guy. He was fine. Attractive, and relatively interesting. 

But, he wasn’t Dr. Lecter. He just wasn’t. Hannibal in his butt hugging suits, those dangerous eyes, and sleeves rolled up so sensually it gave Will a semi.

He needed to move on. It was just a stupid crush right?

Right?

oOo

Eddie liked to talk. They sat across from each other at a small Korean restaurant tucked away in one of the more affluent parts of Baltimore. Will fidgeted in his suit jacket, and tried to be an attentive listener. 

Eddie did Cross fit. 

Boy did he ever. And hey! He had pictures on his phone. 

There he was lifting something while looking happy. Oh and here! Lifting something looking smug. And check it out-neon T-shirts with aggressive slogans. 

This was going down the fucking tube. 

oOo

Hannibal had done something unspeakable. 

They were at the BAU, checking out crime scene photos- especially perverse, grisly ones. Will was distracted, having settled back into his incredible mind. 

When both Will and Jack were absorbed, Hannibal ever so carefully slipped Will’s phone right out of his back pocket. 

He turned his back and opened the screen.

There was a text from “Eddie".

There was the restaurant. The time. 

He slid Will’s phone deftly back into his pocket, lingering over his butt cheek.

oOo

The date finally ended, after 2 hours of Eddie blabbing about skipping leg day or something. He did, however, insist on paying for dinner. He threw down his credit card with a salacious wink. 

Will pursed his lips, completely grossed out at this point. 

 

Outside in the crisp autumn air, Will turned to whats-his-name, ready to give him the old “Well, maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”

Whats-his-name apparently wasn’t having it. 

“So, gorgeous. Your place or mine?” Here he moved, and crowded Will against the brick wall.

“Honestly, I don’t think is going to work out...um..Eddie.” Will shifted sideways to move from between Eddie’s bulky arms.

“Oh, c’mon Willy boy. I saw the way you were looking at me through dinner.”

Here, Eddie leaned in, and planted an open mouthed kiss on Will’s mouth.

oOo

“WILL” Echoed a familiar voice, drowning out Eddie’s foul mouthed suggestions in Will’s ear.

Will’s head snapped up, and Eddie-poor, poor Eddie, didn’t have a chance in Hell.

Hannibal growled and and grabbed the man by the waist. The doctor flung him hard-very hard-onto the sidewalk. 

Will was stunned. Too stunned to react when Hannibal grabbed his hand, and pulled him away from the semi-conscious lump on the cold ground.  
oOo

They were at Hannibal’s car.

“Will. Are you alright?” Hannibal was looking at him like he had some sort of head injury. 

“I’m fine Hannibal-but what the Hell?” 

Hannibal’s cheeks colored. 

“I was...in the neighborhood, and you know I was walking and then I...”

He trailed off. 

“I looked at your phone.” Hannibal covered his mouth as soon as the words tumbled out. 

oOo

Will looked at the doctor. 

The doctor looked at Will. 

And then there was kissing. A lot of kissing. 

Hannibal had his hands in Will’s dark curls and Will was running his hands up Hannibal’s pornographic fore arms. 

“Will” Hannibal breathed.

They pulled apart briefly, and Will met Hannibal’s eyes. They were hungry eyes, his unfathmable maroon irises darkening.

There would definitely be penis things.   
oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone buy Eddie a drink.


	40. A very Franklyn 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boy is back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gawwwd you guys, we have hit 40 chapters. 
> 
> And I say "we" because there is no change on God's green Earth I could have gotten here alone. Thank you so much for you like and comments. They are truly inspiring. 
> 
> As a present, I brought back our favorite patient. 
> 
> I hope you like it, it's for you!!!

Hannibal was balls deep in Will. His thrusting was at an unforgiving pace, and Will was whining shrilly. The sound echoed throughout the house, to the point the dogs began pacing. 

“BEEEP BEEEP.” Hannibal’s phone rang sharply. It was ignored of course, as Hannibal headed for the finish line, Will’s calves around his ears.

Will came extravagantly, cumming up to his stubbled chin as Hannibal pounded against his prostate.

“BEEEEP BEEEEP”!

Hannibal’s phone again rattled against the bedside table. 

Hannibal barely heard it, and his balls slapped once, twice against Will’s crotch and he was filling him to the bring with his completion.

Will was practically comatose, and Hannibal leaned over and nuzzled the dip between his collarbones. 

“BEEEEP BEEEEP!” 

What in the Hell? 

“I’m going to grab that," Hannibal said into Will’s ear. All Will could manage was some garbled syllables, as Hannibal slipped out wetly.

“Yes, This is Dr. Lecter.” 

“Hello yes, this is Tony Jenkins, a nurse at John Hopkins hospital. We have Franklyn Froideveaux here.”

Hannibal stiffened. 

Will at this point took the opportunity to wrap himself around Hannibal’s back, subsequently coating him with sticky, drying cum. 

Hannibal ignored him.

“Yes, Mr. Froideveaux is a patient of mine.”

“Excellent. He has you listed as his emergency contact.”

oOo

Will had overheard the conversation, being practically next to the phone. 

“Sweet weeping Jesus” Will said softly. Here, the giggling began. Will fell back onto the pillows (semen still encrusted on his chin) laughing like a fucking hyena. 

“FUCKING FRANKLYN!” He yelled, causing Hannibal to reach behind him with and swat the open air.

“Dr. Lecter?” The man continued, confused by the screaming on the other end. 

“Yes. Yes. I’m still here. There has been a mix up. I was mistakenly listed under the wrong category. I’m his psychiatrist.”

The nurse on the phone sounded apologetic. 

“Mr. Froideveaux asked for you specifically.” 

Hannibal was at a complete loss. Guilt began to seep unpleasantly into his mind, and he heard himself reply, 

“I’ll be right in.”

He leaned over and thwacked Will on the thigh. Will barely felt it and rolled off the bed with a “thunk”.

oOo

“Thank you for coming Dr. Lecter. Mr. Froideveaux is this way.” 

Will had of course insisted on coming. Every few steps he would cough suspiciously into his hand. The nurse slid open the door to the private room, and there he was, in all his chubby cheeked glory. 

He spotted Hannibal and his entire face lit up like a Summer’s day.

“Hannibal. Thank you for coming! I’m in much need of a good friend.”

At this point Franklyn began sobbing, and like an injured child, held out a heavily bandaged thumb. 

Will had to leave. The guffaws followed him down the hallway, and the doctors and nurses at their stations barely looked up. They’d seen worse. 

oOo

 

Hannibal took a breath. And another. And another. He approached the weeping man, and tried to find his happy place. Filled with kittens and naked Will Grahams. 

“Franklyn. Is there someone I can call for you. A relative or friend?” Hannibal kept more than an arm’s length away from the soggy, Franklyn shaped mess. 

“You’re all I have Hannibal” he snorted, gently cradling his hand. 

“Well, then please tell me how you ended up here.” Hannibal was trying. He really was. Think about Kittens. Will’s nipples. Kittens. Will’s ass crack.

“I was...I was…” Franklyn hiccuped dramatically as Hannibal waited for what was most likely a riveting tale. 

Here the nurse stepped in, as the plump man’s sobbing began again. 

“Apparently Mr. Froideveaux tripped on a curb leaving a shop-” 

“A CHEESE SHOP” Yelled Franklyn frantically. 

Poor Tony sighed. 

“A cheese shop, and landed thumb first. He has a break in the knuckle. We’ve bandaged him as you can see-he could have been discharged an hour ago, but he says he can’t drive."

The nurse cleared his throat, and seemed to be looking for his happy place was well.

“Fine.” Hannibal turned his back to find Will and threaten the living ass out of him. 

oOo

Franklyn sniffled audibly in the front seat of Hannibal’s car. Will was pouting in the back, having been informed there would be no blow jobs in the foreseeable future. 

“Franklyn, please give me directions.” Hannibal clenched the steering wheel and glared at his own reflection in the mirror.

They arrived at Franklyn’s apartment in 20 minutes or so, the man having cheered up significantly. He had tried to make conversation with Hannibal about the most recent symphony board gatherings, and all the wonderful operas coming to Baltimore. 

He hadn’t said a word to Will, his only acknowledgement being a seething glance here and there. 

“Thank you for the ride Hannibal. Can I interest you in a night cap?” 

Franklyn had balls, Will thought. That’s for fucking sure. 

“Franklyn” began Hannibal, psychiatrist voice in full force. 

“I am not your friend. I am your doctor. And at this point, I’m going to request a transfer for you to a colleague.” 

Hannibal exited the car, hoping a face to face conversation would really drive the point home. 

Frankly, however, refused to get the gist. 

“Hannibal. I know you have feelings for me. You can stop pretending. Mr. Graham should know the truth.”

Hannibal said nothing, and was practically knocked off his feet at the force of Franklyn’s messy kiss. 

Will all but fell out of the car and yanked the man back from Hannibal. He threw him onto the curb and scrambled to see to the doctor, who was wiping his mouth with the back of his hand

“That little fucking rat! He’s like fucking Wormtail!” Will was incredulous, and obviously reading Prisoner of Azkaban.

Hannibal was still recovering and trying not to gag when Franklyn wailed, 

“I think you broke my leg!!!”

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Thank you Thank you :0)


	41. Poor Jack number...I honestly have no idea.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some day I will stop writing Poor Jack. 
> 
> Today is not this day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what's up. *wink*

“Why am I doing this?” Will slouched in his chair, looking out the window at his snow covered property.

“Because you are doing your “Hermit thing” as Beverly so accurately calls it” answered Hannibal.

Will huffed dramatically. Hannibal was unmoved. 

“Alright alright. Jesus.” Will pouted. 

“You don’t have to call me Jesus Will.” Hannibal smirked. 

“You shouldn’t make jokes.” Will put his head down on his desk and Hannibal went happily to the kitchen to start meal planning. 

oOo

The gathering was Friday. Hannibal (of course) handled the food. Will’s job was to “Get rid of the copious amount of dog hair covering the entire house. You could make an entire new dog”. (Hannibal obviously).

Will did as he was told. He was wrapped around ALL of Hannibal’s fingers, and what talented fingers they were. He swept and vacuumed and even bought one of those r2d2 looking rug shampooing things. 

Hannibal was ecstatic. Will’s house was clean. The food was ready. On the afternoon of the soiree, “amuse-bouche” covered Will’s small kitchen counter. Fried goat cheese balls, Mahi Mahi skewers, figs wrapped in bacon, god knows what else. 

He even made cupcakes for dessert. Hannibal Lecter made fucking cupcakes. Fondant, almond extract, lavender, rose water cupcakes. What in the Hell a lavender cupcake was Will had no idea. He really didn’t care. 

He did care that when Hannibal was in “entertainment mode” the sex was sadly lacking. He could have sworn last week Hannibal whispered “canapes” when he came all over Will’s stomach.

oOo

Bev arrived early to help. In reality she came to grill Will about the “dirty details”. 

“So.” Said Bev non-chalantly while she looked through Will’s closet grimacing. “Is he. You know…?”

Will was confused. 

“Is he, you know, what?” Will was laying back on the bed looking put upon. 

“You know Will. C’mon. Is he or isn’t he?”

Will rolled his eyes. “Just fucking say it Bev.”

“DOES HE HAVE A BIG DICK?!” Bev straight up yelled it, her voice echoing (he was sure) down into the kitchen. 

“Christ woman!” Will whisper-yelled, throwing a pillow at her.

“And yes.” Whispered Will. “He fucking does”.

Bev looked like she was about to weep with joy.

oOo

The party was going well. Will was pretty surprised. He was actually having fun. He knew all the guests, just the BAU crew, and Bella and Margot of course. He felt comfortable drinking mint juleps and chatting and joking with the lively bunch.

And the later it got, the livelier. 

Will was thoroughly fucked up, as Hannibal kept him well supplied with refills. Not that anyone else was much better off. Bev was trying to do handstands while Alana spotted her, and Brian was happily playing truth or dare with Margot. He was currently trying to eat a cupcake with his hands pinned behind his back by Jimmy. 

Jack was quietly sloshed, Bella perched on his lap talking to Hannibal about Chateaus or something.

Hannibal himself was poised as always, but Will could see the tell tale signs of intoxication. Flushed. Smiley. Sleeves rolled up past the elbows. He was also surprised to note the vest was nowhere to be seen. God he was sexy. Was forearm kink a thing?

oOo

The party wound down about 1am. People were starting to wilt, eyes blinking lazily. All that was left of Hannibal’s mini edibles were crumbs. Bella and Margot were designated drivers, bless them, and they loaded the gang into the cars laughing and stumbling. Bev gave Will and crushing hug and whispered

“Gobble that cock tonight ok? For me?” 

Will chuckled and stepped away unsteadily. All he could do was wink. Kind of. 

Will went back inside, where Hannibal was on the couch, sitting with his eyes closed. 

Will wasted no time. He had a cock to gobble. He straddled Hannibal and began to nose at his neck. Hannibal “mmmmmed” quietly and let Will take it away. Take it away he did, and soon enough his nose was buried in Hannibal’s crotch. 

oOo

Soon enough, Hannibal was moaning, rocking his hips up into Will’s very willing mouth. Will also had a handful of balls, which were getting tighter by the minute.

Suddenly the front door flew open with a crash. 

“Will Bev forgot her pur-…” Jack began and took in the scene before him. 

Will’s mouth was literally full of cock. His cheeks bulged with it. Bev stumbled in behind Jack a second later and gasped. 

Will tried to pull away, but realized Hannibal had passed the fuck out, and still had a vice grip on his hair. 

“YOU ARE FIRED!” Yelled Jack, and stomped out, gagging. 

Will struggled ,and before he was able to pull off there was the flash of a camera. Bev quickly put her phone away and skipped away laughing like an insane person.

No more parties. Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Write what you know. AMIRITE?


	42. Inked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn Will Graham.
> 
> Warning-
> 
> Some feels (what?) And flowery description of nipples. Ahem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a liberty here and there. Included some original quotes. 
> 
> Boom.

Will was fucking soaked. Fucking freezing. Fucking pissed. 

The frigid rain had soaked through his coat, through his shirt, seeped into his socks.

He had parked pretty far from the BAU building, not usually minding a nice walk in the blustery fall air. 

But as the heavens opened up, he sprinted to his car. By the time he had ducked inside he was freezing his balls off. It seemed as if they were trying to escape up into his body for a little warmth. He couldn’t really blame them. He checked his watch. It was 6:45. Hopefully enough time to get to his 7pm appointment. 

oOo

Will knocked on Hannibal’s door, and was immediately greeted by the overwhelming warmth of a cheerful fire. 

“Will!” 

Hannibal was dumbfounded. Will Graham looked half drowned, and 100% defeated. 

 

“Get in here. Go sit by the fire.” 

Hannibal escaped from the room, and in about 2 seconds came back with a soft, thick towel. 

“I said sit!” Hannibal shoved Will towards the fire. Will hesitated, not wanting to ruin any upholstery.

“Will. I won’t ask you again.” Hannibal pushed down on Will’s shoulder and began to towel dry his hair roughly. 

“Hey!” Will was half annoyed, half amused. 

Hannibal, however, was all business. 

“Stop giggling Will. You’re halfway hypothermic.” Hannibal threw the towel behind him, and crouched in front of Will’s chair, the fire to his back. 

“Hmmm.” The good doctor was examining his face closely. “Your lips are blue. Get out of those clothes. I’m sure I’ve got something you can put on.”

“Where’s the bathroom-” Will began. 

Hannibal scoffed. 

 

“You move from that fireplace and I’ll ground you. No more dogs for you in the foreseeable. future. “ Hannibal smiled at this point, and Will chuckled. 

“Alright Alright. Have you always been this bossy Dr. Lecter?” 

“Yes.” Was the only reply, and Hannibal disappeared to find a shirt. The doctor dismissed the idea of “Not having anything else but this bathrobe sorry Will” from his mind. 

oOo

Will had disrobed when Hannibal re-entered with a white button shirt. Will was too warm to be embarrassed, and he smiled at Hannibal sleepily. 

“Lucky for you, said Hannibal, I keep several extra suits here. For emergencies of course.” 

“Of course” smiled Will. 

He handed Will the shirt, who reached out to grab it eagerly. Would it smell like Hannibal? All spicy and sexy and...wooly? 

It did. It really, really did. 

Then Hannibal saw it. He froze like a pointer, on the discovery of a fox. 

It was a tattoo. On Will’s right shoulder blade. Curiosity flooded his mind, and blood flooded his groin. He wanted to ask...but he had the suspicion the man would be embarrassed and stutter-y. More so than usual. Hannibal decided a more subtle approach would be necessary. And he needed masturbnation. Quite a bit of masturbation. STAT.

oOo

The trick was how exactly to get Will’s shirt off. Hannibal really buckled down with his notebook and imagination, while Franklyn’s voice became white noise in the background. 

oOo

Hannibal saw Will several times at the BAU that week. He was always clad in depressingly opaque clothing. Not that Hannibal’s expected him to be in a mesh shirt. But a man could dream couldn’t he? 

They were examining a body. The BAU crew, (which also happened to be the name of their bowling league,) Will and Hannibal.  
Hannibal was waiting for his chance. They were discussing this and that, evidence, blah blah blah, when Hannibal saw it. Bryan was innocently carrying a tub of bodily fluids to test for something or other. Hannibal didn’t give a fuck and a half. When Brian passed in front of Will Hannibal stuck his wingtip out at just the right angle. Brian went sprawling, and viscera and liquid splashed onto Will, soaking his button up. 

The entire team looked horrified, and then began to laugh almost hysterically. Bev was clutching Jack’s shirt, and Jimmy was doubled over.

“Christ Will! I tripped! Jesus…” Brian was mortified and Will looked relatively nonchalant, if not a bit surprised. 

“I’ve had worse” He shrugged, and began to unbutton his shirt before it soaked through to his chest. That smooth pale chest, with hardening rosebud nipples begging to be sucked...

Hannibal fought his erection desperately. Get a hold of yourself Lecter. 

Hannibal shook his head as Will lifted the hem of his t-shirt. As it rose to shoulder blade level Jack kindly draped a towel over his shoulders. 

Dammit. One down…

oOo

Hannibal’s second opportunity was pure kismet. Will came down with the flu. Or something akin to that. He puked in Jack’s office, on the way to his car, and in the passenger seat. By the time he arrived home he walked through the door, stripped, and collapsed on the couch. 

Hannibal was of course “very concerned”, and decided to take it upon himself to check up on his patient. He made a quick call to Alana before he set out. 

“Dr. Bloom. Could I borrow your car for a few hours?” Hybrid. Great car for stalking. 

oOo

Hannibal pulled up (almost silently-wow he should think about a hybrid) about 45 minutes later. Will had only been gone a few hours and Hannibal crossed his fingers he was still miserable and possibly nude. 

“Will?” He said softly as he opened the front door.

Winston stood up and stretched, tail wagging when he saw Hannibal. The dogs were used to their Alpha’s mate by now. 

 

Hannibal put down a covered dish filled with broth, and a fancy organic bottle of ginger ale.  
A guttural moan came from the direction of the couch. The only light was a small lamp on the coffee table. 

“Hannibal?” Will sat up halfway and peeked out over the armrest. 

“Why are you here? Am I dead?” 

Hannibal chuckled. 

“You aren’t dead Will. How are you feeling?” Hannibal made his way over to “check things out.” 

Will was shirtless. Gloriously shirtless, bare chest glowing in the low light. Hannibal gulped down several horny noises and tried to align his Chakras.

“I brought you something for your stomach.” Hannibal said softly, gesturing towards the kitchen. 

Will stood up shakily, revealing not only a delicious tummy, but a significant package loosely contained by a thin pair of boxer briefs. 

The doctor reached out a hand to steady Will, and tried to sneak a hand around his waist. Almost there doctor. Almost there. 

Sadly, Will chose that moment to projectile vomit impressively all over Hannibal’s chest. Will, horrified, fell backward onto the couch, and continued to heave onto the floor. Hannibal had no choice but to cover the half conscious man with a blanket and clean up before the dogs got to it. Or maybe he’d just let them go for it. 

oOo

Hannibal Lecter had never failed at anything in his life, and he wasn’t about to be defeated in his endeavors. He thought about the tattoo constantly. Was it words? A boat? Hannibal’s name with a little heart? Winston’s with a little heart? There was nothing for it. He was in plan C mode. 

oOo

“Will, do you swim?” 

Hannibal had brought Will a lobster omelette for lunch one day between classes. He chewed thoughtfully and swallowed. 

“Not really since I was a kid.” He shamelessly dug out another piece of lobster, abandoning the egg.

“I always find it to be quite therapeutic. Would you care to accompany me sometime?’ Hannibal tried to look passive, but his balls were whispering sweet nothings to his penis. 

“Actually” said Will, “That sounds kind of great.” 

He flashed Hannibal a smile. The smile that never failed to make Hannibal swoon like a lovesick teenager.

oOo

Hannibal chose a time in the evening for their swim. He had the keys to the elegant building downtown. He led Will, with his duffle in hand, into the beautifully domed room that housed the pool. The sides and bottom were granite, with a small mosaic here and there. Tiny suns and moons decorated the tiles. 

“This is beautiful!” Will was genuinely impressed, and excited to test the water. 

He shed his pants, and revealed a typical, baggy men’s swimsuit. Hannibal frowned, but took a moment to admire that happy trail. So, so happy. 

This was it. Hannibal was behind will undressing. He had a clear view of his back. Will removed his shirt. 

oOo

There it was. Inked into Will’s shoulder were the words: 

“Perception's a tool that is pointed on both ends.” 

They were Hannibal’s words. His own words. Permanently etched into Will’s delicately muscled shoulder. Had he heard that first conversation with Jack Crawford?

Will caught Hannibal gaping shamelessly. He colored, and opened his mouth to speak. Not a hell of a lot came out. Just a huff of breath. 

Hannibal cracked. He jumped at Will, and they both stumbled back into the water.

The men came up sputtering and wiping their eyes. 

“What the Hell Hannibal you-” 

Hannibal cut him off with a kiss. A firm, impassioned kiss on the mouth. He pulled back to gauge Will’s reaction. 

It was Will’s turn to lunge. Will kissed him. Kissed the living fuck out of those mismatched, yet perfect lips. Hannibal was ravenous at this point and disconnected his lips from Will’s. He kissed his throat, his clavicles, and flicked an eager tongue at Will’s left nipple.

Will arched and grappled at Hannibal’s back. Their crotches made contact, and Will moaned, his legs wrapped around Hannibal's waist. No one was going to last long at this point. But it didn’t matter. They both came spectacularly, sending small white clouds of cum out into the water. 

oOo

Weeks after these events, Will rarely wore a shirt at home, or lounging around Hannibal’s living room; And Hannibal, captivated, rarely missed an opportunity to come up behind him and softly kiss the words on his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some Hanni ink myself...shhh


	43. Yeah I don't think so PartII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something a little different. Science and shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude you guys. You aren't fooling anyone.

Hannibal was late. 

Dr. Hannibal Lecter was late. 

Will sat in the comfortable waiting area of front office. He had actually been a little early. He knocked on the office door, and when there was no answer, sat and pulled out his book to wait. 

oOo

15 minutes later there was no psychiatrist. Will had his cell number, and had used it a few times. Dinners, appoinments, BAU whatevers. Should he text him? 

When Will finally picked up his phone the doctor burst into the waiting room door. He was out of breath (weird) and his suit jacket had two pieces of lint on it (super weird).

“I cannot apologize enough Will! I underestimated the traffic!” Hannibal then opened the office door and ushered Will in, still panting a bit. 

Will couldn’t help but admire the sheen of sweat on Hannibal’s hairline. He plopped down into his regular chair and dropped his bag. 

“Everything alright Hannibal?” He had dropped the “Dr.” quite a few months ago. 

“Oh yes Will. I was on a date actually.” Hannibal froze. What in the slippery fuck had driven him to share that information.

Will opened his mouth but nothing really came out. He tried again. 

“Oh. That’s um. That's pretty...neat.” Will was horrified. Neat? Was he fucking 7?

Hannibal smirked subtly (Will caught it) and replied, 

“Yes. It was fine.”

Will wasn’t sure what the protocol was. What was polite when questioning your doctor-not-really-your-doctor on a date? 

“Um” he stumbled “Are you planning on seeing him again?”

“Yes. Yes I think I will.” Hannibal cleared his throat and adjusted his tie.

oOo

Right then, something erupted in Will Graham. He felt heat spread over his face, and his hands were in almost painful fists on the arms of the chair. He knew it. He knew it like the back of his hand. Hannibal Lecter. With those suits and ass and chest hair that glittered with sweat when he was on his back...wait no. It didn’t matter, chest hair or not. That was it.

Yup. Hannibal Lecter was done dating. 

oOO

The session that night was certainly interesting. Hannibal stumble over questions and Will answered icily. He even looked at his phone and pretended there was a dog emergency. He left rather abruptly. When he was safe in his little house in Wolf Trap, surrounded by furry bodies and holding a glass of scotch, he thought long and hard.

“Buster. I need a plan. I need Dr. Lecter’s lips and hands and possible chest hair.

Buster was zero help. But Will devised a plan. An iffy, but not completely impossible plan. 

oOo

Hannibal’s date the evening of Will’s appointment was fine. It really was. 

The Man, Eric Masterson, was a member of the Baltimore Symphony association. He had coyly invited Hannibal for a drink after a benefit. 

Eric was interesting enough, and attractive in that Harvard crew kind of way. 

The problem was, he wasn’t Will Graham. But Hannibal had to move on. He couldn’t pine after Will for the rest of his goddamn life. Pine after whatever delectable treats were under those frumpy khakis. He desperately wanted to put his nose in those curls. Kiss Will’s chest and bite his hip bones. Sigh.

He promised himself once and for all he would rid himself of these impossible fantasies. 

oOo

Will was in plan mode. 

He asked to change the date of their session that week. Would Monday work? Buster was getting neutered on Friday. (He wasn’t. That poor bastard’s balls were long gone). Hannibal's date had to be Friday after his session. Right? That was date night. Wasn’t it?

oOo

“Hello Will!” Hannibal was right on time. Will just smiled tightly and went to his chair. He pretended (pretty well he thought) to trip on the carpet. Hannibal caught his arm and asked softly,

“Everything ok Will?” 

Will made his voice quaver slightly. 

“It was… a hard day. This case, it’s draining me, Hannibal”. He looked up at Hannibal with those big, hypnotic puppy eyes. He could be a manipulative little shit when he wanted to be. He prayed, hoping that his hypothesis was correct.

He almost laughed in relief when Hannibal said, 

“May I offer you a glass of wine before we begin? Something to soothe the troubled soul”. Hannibal smiled gently. 

“Yes please. That sounds wonderful.” 

oOo

Hannibal grabbed a bottle of red that probably cost as much as Will’s mortgage. 

He poured Will a glass, and one for himself as well.

It was now or never Graham. 

Will lifted to glass to his lips, and OH MY GOD! It slipped right out of his hand to soak his (strategically white) button up with maroon liquid. 

“Hannibal! Fuck! I’m so sorry!” Will looked mortified. 

“Will please don’t apologize! I’ll run and find something before it stains. I have an extra shirt as well. Give me just a minute or two.” 

A minute or two was all Will needed. 

As soon as Hannibal disappeared Will ran to the doctor’s desk. 

There it was. A Date book. 

Please God...Please. 

He flipped it open and scanned the notes. There it was. There is fucking was. 

Eric M, Friday. Thames Street Oyster house, 8:30pm. He snapped a pic with his phone, and booked it back to his chair. 

Hannibal reappeared moments later with what he assumed was a homemade stain-getter-outer and a crisp, clean shirt.

THE GAME WAS AFOOT.

oOo

Hannibal loved oysters. The salt, the texture, the way they lazily slipped down his throat. He reveled in their thick bumpy shells, and the smell of the ocean. 

They were totally wasted on him.

He sat across from Eric who, apparently, loved the sound of his own voice. Sadly, that voice became a little piercing after a while. Hannibal tried to focus on the oysters and block it out. Hannibal “hmmmmed” once in awhile, and there was the occasional “that’s interesting”. Eric happened to be involved in the symphony, the opera, the ballet, and the arts council. Christ.

Hannibal went quickly through the first bottle of wine. A second was brought out (did he order it?) and he had 3 of the 4 servings. Eric-shmerick was totally oblivious, and Hannibal was well on his way to wine drunk. Which, In Hanni land, was never a...flattering experience. 

 

oOo

Through some friend of a friend of Bev Will was able to snag a reservation at Thames. He hated oysters. Why would anyone voluntary swallow a mutant booger? 

Didn’t matter. 

He saw Hannibal and an attractive man (quite attractive) come in. Will huffed and sipped his beer, hidden in a corner. He had tried to wear a hoodie but the host attempted to kick him out. He opted for sunglasses, a fake eye disorder, and a vague lawsuit threat. 

The man Hannibal was with was tall-Not quite as tall as Hannibal. He was, however, wearing a crisp, form fitting suit. He wore his light hair slightly long and tucked behind his ears. Will fumed into his glass and stabbed at his salad violently. Bits of crouton flew everywhere and his server looked at him with haughty disgust. Will ignored him, and waited to make his move. What move that was exactly, he had no bloody clue. 

oOo

Dinner was finally over, and Will watched the couple leave the restaurant, with Hannibal leaning on suit-man out of necessity. 

Will threw several bills down onto the white table cloth and followed them out more or less surreptitiously. He spotted them turn a corner and pressed himself up against a wall, looking completely bonkers. 

He heard the blonde man speak-

“Well Dr. Lecter. What will it take for me to get you on those knees tonight huh?” 

Will leaped out from the shadows with a feral cry and both men started. 

“What the H-” “Eric M.” began, and then Will was on him, with the subtle grace of a grunting mountain troll. 

Eric, decidedly not blind with rage, caught Will by the chin with a confidant fist. Will lay stunned, and Hannibal tripped over his own feet to fall next to him. With slurred speech and drifting focus he almost wept, 

“Will! Will! Are you dead?? Don’t be dead! I've never even touched your butt or penis!”

Hannibal grasped Will’s lapels and shook him clumsily. 

“Hannibal! I’m fine! God you're giving me whiplash.” 

Eric had chosen this moment to bugger off, and left the two insane individuals to sort out...whatever it was that needed sorting out.

“Will! It’s a miracle!.” Hannibal smiled tearfully and pulled him into a crushing embrace. 

“Wait…” It suddenly dawned on Will. “What did you say about my penis?” 

Hannibal didn’t hear a word, and kissed Will sloppily, without coordination or finesse.

And it was absolutely fucking perfect.

oOo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wink.


	44. Happy Birthday Hanni

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First off. I have to apologize for the big gap. Things have been...confusing. Soon to be ex poopy head husbands. And paperwork. My dear lord. 
> 
> Thanks for letting me share. Writing these, and communication with you all is my therapy. 
> 
> OK. Back to Hanni. 
> 
> I've done a version of this...first chapter I think. But I do adore high hospital Hanni. 
> 
> -Warning-Mundane notes at the end. 
> 
> KEEEESES xxx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man-first of all the amount of times I say fuck...is prestigious to say the least. 
> 
> And there's fluff. More than I intended but I have emotions OK???

It was nothing. The tiniest, most minute misstep. He climbed out of the driver’s seat and his wing tip hit the ice just wrong. Before He knew it he was on the ground. A sharp pain ripped through hip when he hit the solid surface. He continued to slide, and found himself halfway under his car. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

His body was shrieking at him to do something, anything, and he tried to comply. He was able to gingerly slide his body out from under the Bentley. It felt like his hip was being torn apart, or hit with a hammer, or trying to escape his from his body. 

He shifted to take some of the pressure off his hip, and the small movement made him whimper. He turned his head, and saw his phone laying miraculously close to his fingers. He grabbed it with slight struggle. He hit the button of the only person he could think to call. 

 

oOo

 

Will was in his boxers. It was Friday night, and he sure as hell was done with pants for the week. There was a playful blaze flickering happily in the fireplace. The dogs were around his feet and he was planning on glass of whiskey, house hunters, and a 12 hour respite.

As he picked up the bottle and grabbed a glass. his phone rang. He ignored it, 99% sure it was Jack calling in some fucking favor. Only an emergency would rip him away from the comfort of his boozy dog nest. 

It rang again. Will frowned and looked at his phone. Hannibal Lecter. 

 

oOo

 

“Hannibal. Is everything ok?” Will was surprised by the call, Hannibal typically preferring the efficiency of text. 

“Hello Will” answered Hannibal. There was a very suspicious, high pitched strain in his voice.

“Hannibal, tell me what’s wrong.” Will stood quickly and dropped the bottle of Jack, clunking onto the heads of the dogs below. Luckily it hit Titan, who had that skull of a bowling ball.

“Ive fallen.” There was that strain again, the sound of a man in pain. 

“Where are you Hannibal?” Will had already started hunting for his pants. He found sweats, which was enough.

“In my driveway. It’s my hip. I can’t move.” 

Will was stern, commanding.

“I”m on my way. Call an ambulance or I will. I’ll see you at John Hopkins. 

oOo

Will screeched into the parking lot of the emergency room. It was practically empty, 3 in the afternoon not being a super popular time for the stabbed with a fork, sprained toe population. Will walked up to the counter in his sweats and snow boots. The man at the desk looked at him and frowned. 

“Can I help you?” He was bored and uninterested. 

“Yes hi. I’m looking for Hannibal Lecter. He should have been brought in by ambulance.” Will was straining his neck to look around the corner through the automatic doors.

Here the man’s sleepy eyes actually widened. 

“Ahhh yes. DOCTOR Lecter.” He put a heavy emphasis on the word “doctor”. Are you by any chance Mr. Will Graham? 

“Um, yes…?” He flashed his ID. 

“You can go back. There won’t be a problem finding the room. Oh and sir? He continued as will turned away-

Good luck”.

 

oOo

 

As soon as Will passed through into the hallway he could hear a voice, the familiar accent and cadence abnormally loud. As the young man had said, Will had zero problems finding the room, and soon he peeked around the door to find a very angry Hannibal. Scratch that. Livid. His teeth were bared at a poor little resident trembling in his white coat. 

“I told you. Nothing is broken. The x-ray will be meaningless. Now, get out of my sight unless you have the discharge paper.” Hannibal’s voice wavered on the word paper, and he paled. The pain was clear on his face and his eyelashes fluttered. 

“Christ Hannibal!” Will spat out, going to his bedside. 

“Will. Thank you for coming.” He somehow became whiter, and there was sweat on his hairline. 

“Why aren’t you on painkillers? Where the fuck is the doctor?” Will was enraged, and when he turned to drag someone in he ran into a dark haired woman.

 

“I’m Dr. Anderson,” she said, and nodded curtly at Will. 

 

“He has refused all offers of painkillers, and punched an x-ray machine." She pursed her lips and dramatically grabbed Hannibal’s chart. 

“He what?” Will was incredulous, and glared at the man on the slim bed behind him. Hannibal actually shrunk some under his gaze, looking like Buster after he brought cat shit in the house.

Will lost all sense of propriety, and actually grabbed Hannibal’s face. 

“You are getting painkillers. And you are getting an x-ray. And you are you going to shut the fuck up.”

oOo

As it turned out, The stubborn as hell Great and Powerful Oz was dead wrong. 

The ridiculous bastard had a nasty crack in his hip. When Doctor Bedside Manner shared the results she looked positively smug. Luckily, Hannibal was high as a kite on IV opioids. He just stared at Will, eyes floating between the man’s eyes and his crotch.

“Are you his husband?” The Doctor asked, looking down at the x-ray results. 

Will blushed. “No, actually just... close friends.” Hannibal decided to chime in drunkenly at this point. 

“Will is such a good friend. Like a boyyyyy friend. But I’ve never seen his butt.” Hannibal grinned, looking slightly insane.

The doctor didn’t even attempt to hide her smile, and actually looked at Will with some genuine sympathy.

“Will you be able to help him home? She asked softly. “He’ll need some gentle coaxing I believe.”

“Of course” Will responded without hesitation, as Hannibal meowed softly behind him. 

oOo  
The cast and crutch were a challenge, to say the least. Hannibal was far heavier than he looked, and Will was practically carrying him up the stone steps to the front door. 

“Ok big guy” Will said gently. “Let's get you in shall we?” 

Hannibal thankfully had a key in his pocket, and after 5 minutes of tugging and shuffling they were in. The doctor used Will as a crutch, with his arm possessively around his elastic waistband. Will felt a small flicker in his balls. Get a hold of yourself Graham.

Hannibal finally collapsed on the couch, groaning in ecstasy. He then caught Will’s eye, and gave him a smile genuine, trusting, adoring smile. That rare, content expression is what did it, and Will finally acquiesced. He was love with Hannibal Lecter. A man. Who had a penis. Huh.

oOo

Hannibal was still floating a bit on the painkillers. He looked blankly at Will, and opened his mouth and said evenly-

“It’s my birthday.”

Will was stunned. Birthday? 

“Hannibal! Why didn’t you say something? I would have got you something...made dinner or...” 

“I’m fifty Will. With a broken hip. I’m used up. Geriatric. Soon you’ll be spoon feeding applesauce and...shit.” Hannibal was completely resigned and Will decided to act. 

He closed the distance between the chair and couch, and kneeled in front of Hannibal, his face an inch from his nose. 

“Hannibal Lecter.” Will was in Officer Graham mode at this point. “You are not used up.”

Then Will Graham kissed him. 

Hannibal responded, overwhelmed by Will’s taste and smell and feel. 

Tongues became involved, with gentle touches and whispered words. Soon enough, Hannibal Lecter would indeed see Will’s butt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So-When he slips under the car, that was from an actual experience. That has happened to me twice. Right under the car. No injuries, but one time when it happened I was holding a box with both my cats in it. Don't ask. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed-And thanks again. For realsies.


	45. A very Franklyn 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh Franklyn. 
> 
> That's all you get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so ooc and canon divergent your eyes may fall out. 
> 
> And I can't stop writing Franklyn. I can't stop writing drunkenness. And I can't stop writing hilarious injuries. Lots o' tropes mushed into one! 
> 
> xoxoxo
> 
> PS-I had to book it-editing not done I apologize. Love you. Mean it.

Hannibal had tried. He really had. He had referred Franklyn Froideveaux to another psychiatrist. And that psychiatrist referred him to another, and another, rinse and repeat. 

The squat man needed therapy no doubt, but Hannibal was tired as hell giving it to him. 

Sadly, Frankie boy had circled back around into Hannibal’s unwilling arms. Hannibal felt a sense of pathetic, crushing guilt. Alana Bloom’s voice floated into his his head, 

“Guilt is a useless emotion Hannibal.” 

He agreed on some level that was true. But it didn’t do anything to solve his problem. 

oOo

So, there Franklyn sat, smiling at Hannibal, his cheeks rosy in the warmth of the room. He was as happy as a clam, completely comfortable in his surroundings. Hannibal was well skilled in keeping it together, but even he was beginning to slip. 

“Hannibal. It’s wonderful to see you again. I’m so flattered you asked for me back."

To Franklyn's credit, thought Hannibal, the man must have 5 or 6 gigantic balls.

“Franklyn. As I have told you many, many times, this is not a friendship. Our relationship is strictly doctor and patient, and while we are on the subject, I must insist you refer to me as Dr. Lecter from this point on.

“Why of course DOCTOR” Franklyn answered salaciously, putting a dramatic emphasis on Hannibal’s title. 

oOo

Hannibal had a thought. It was fleeting at first, but then got stuck somewhere in the back of his mind. What if he was in a relationship? Not necessarily...a real relationship, but something to flaunt in front of the tenacious Franklyn, seeing that blatant rejection had only seemed to excite him more. Alana Bloom popped into his head. It would be prefect-under the guise he actually enjoyed physical intimacy with women. 

oOo

“Are you kidding me Hannibal. How old are we today.”? Alana laughed at him and leaned back onto the back of her desk chair. 

Bev was sitting in the same chair and spun around abruptly, knocking Alana half off. 

“I’ll do it!” Bev yelled, eyes mischievous.

“The hell you will!” 

Here Alana threw a paper clip at her. “Don’t enable him. Plus we haven’t even fucked yet and you’ll have one drink and be in his lap.” 

Bev grinned at him and said, 

“She’s only half joking.” 

oOo

His plan B became obvious at this point. Will Graham had become his closest friend, despite his taste in shirts and footwear and pants and dogs. And with Will, he thought, “pretending” wouldn’t be particularly difficult. It was Friday, appointment day, and the most opportune time to ask. Hannibal would run home and make lava cake and woo the man with sugar and dessert wine. 

oOo

“Christ Hannibal. This is like eating an orgasm.” Will practically had his face in the cake, and Hannibal tried to ignore the thoughts of that same angelic face in other places he couldn’t even admit to himself.

“Oh. Sorry.” Will laughed. “That was actually really gross.” 

Hannibal chuckled. “It was, but a much appreciated compliment. More wine?” 

Will of course agreed, having a raging sweet tooth and a rough fucking week. Hannibal stealthy kept Will’s glass full as they chatted about this and that. Hannibal caught the moment Will was wine drunk and decided to take the bull by horns. 

“Will. I have an...odd favor to ask, and please feel free to say no.” Hannibal looked away briefly and plucked at his sleeve.

Will was happy and warm, and ready to agree to whatever his favorite doctor had in mind. Hopefully something involving a thigh massage. 

“Ask away!” Will downed the rest of his glass and grinned. 

“Franklyn is back under my care, the man I’ve spoken to you about several times, and he is still coming on quite..strong. I feel guilty letting him go, but the flirting is becoming tiresome to say the least.” Hannibal blew out a shaky breath. 

“I was wondering if you would be interested...in perhaps…being my....- 

Here Will laughed aloud and butted in.

 

“Hannibal Lecter! Would you please be my pretend boyfriend?” Will opened another bottle of wine sloppily and toasted Hannibal with the full bottle. Hannibal gave Will a rare, toothy smile and toasted back. 

oOo

Will, even after he had recovered from his lava cake cunnilingus and wine shenanigans the night before was still on board for the fake boyfriend bit. He had even taken over planning, and met Hannibal Tuesday evening to work out the crucial details. The men sat across from each other in a small bistro with their heads bowed together conspiratorially. 

“Alright.” Began Will picking cranberries out of a scone, an action Hannibal actually found endearing instead of rude. He then had a brief fantasy of eating cranberries out of Will’s...other stuff.

“He’ll catch on if it’s too obvious. I can’t just jump you when he’s in the waiting room. He may be dense be he’s pretty observant when it comes to Dr. Lecter.” Will mused. About a minute later he snapped his fingers. 

“I've got it! I’m a genius.” 

Hannibal raised a dubious eyebrow at him and took a bite of some mediocre quiche. 

“Do enlighten me with your wisdom Mr. Graham.” 

Will blushed for a moment, something always stirring in him when “Mr. Graham” popped up in Hannibal’s lexicon. 

“At your next appointment ask casually what he’s up to that weekend. You know he’ll give you all the fucking details. I assume there are some fancy pants gatherings this weekend?” 

Hannibal thought and then nodded-

“Quite a few actually. My guess is he’ll be in attendance somewhere or another.

Excellent. Then We’ll stroll up and put on a little show! “What a strange coincidence Mr. Froideveaux!” 

Hannibal considered Will, and was sold by those endless lashes and that sharp jaw line more so than the words he spoke.

“I follow you lead sir!” Hannibal held up his own scone and toasted Will with mock formality. Will attempted to tap back when his unfortunate scone exploded into a pile of crumbs. 

oOo

“So Franklyn. Do you have any plans for the weekend?” 

Franklyn began to wriggle in delight at Hannibal’s question.

“I do indeed! There’s a new artisan wine and cheese place that popped up near my apartment-they’re having their soft opening Friday evening and my name is on the list.” He puffed up when sharing this information. 

 

Hannibal quickly turned his attention to Franklyn’s psyche before an invite was issued. Will really was kind of a genius. 

Hannibal called Will Friday morning to solidify the plans. They’d meet and Hannibal’s and from there hit the cheese shop whatever. Will agreed happily while his new dog humped the sofa passionately. 

“What should I wear” Asked Will before he could stop himself. Dammit. 

Hannibal, however, took the question seriously and thought. 

“Simple white button up. Slacks that fit and aren’t horrifying.” Hannibal wasn’t even about to apologize for that truth. 

Will rolled his eyes so hard it was almost audible. 

“Fine. I’ve got a pair Bev bullied me into buying. “ I feel like I’m going to bust the seams whenever I bend over though.”

Hannibal hung up with Will and began forming a non-emergent plan C. How to get Will to bend over several times during cheese fest.

oOo

Will was early, as he tended to be when invited to Hannibal’s. Typically it was a dinner gathering of some sort, and he like to have the doctor to himself to chat and help slice charcuterie. 

“Will!” Hannibal allowed himself a inconspicuous glance at Will’s form. The shirt was actually form fitting, the first few buttons undone, but the trousers were the real star of the show. Will winked and turned around cheekily. 

“Well cradle robber? What do you think?” 

“That’s odd William. But the outfit is perfect.” 

Hannibal was in an almost garish red 3 piece suit. Will mentally salivated and took several deep breaths...his trousers would pop open at even the whisper of an erection. They walked to the car, an obvious of tension between them. Of course they both realized it, but chose not to speak. 

oOo

The cheese place was packed with people sipping wine and sampling bizarre unicorn milk cheeses blah blah blah. They were all obviously society folk, and their sparkling laughter drifted outside into the street.

Will was suddenly intimidated, and very aware of his old coat. Hannibal sensed the change in his posture and squeezed his arm gently. 

“Stop it Will.” The command was friendly and slightly amused. 

Will took his advice and touched where Hannibal had put his hand. 

Hannibal walked confidently up to the door, and hooked his arm through Will’s. 

“Dr. Hannibal Lecter and guest.” Hannibal towered over the small man sitting on a stool holding a list. 

“Ah yes!” Said the man, looking up at Hannibal and Will. “Please come in!” 

oOo

Will shed his coat immediately, handing it to the woman at the door. It was sweltering, so many bodies packed into such a small space. 

The walls of the shop were a soft yellow, and the ceiling was ancient with exposed beams. There were small tables in the back, and the array of cheese was quite impressive. Looking at the small chunks on toothpicks made Will’s mouth water a little. The owner was at the counter, greeting people and handing out bottomless glasses of wine. 

Will was overwhelmed, and jumped when Hannibal bumped his arm. 

“Shall we find Franklyn?” He asked, handing Will a much needed glass of wine. He threw it back and nodded his head onward. They both grabbed extra glasses on the way. 

Franklyn was in a corner, holding a heavy plate of cheese and a half empty glass of wine. By his uneven stare he had had a few already. Then Will felt (keenly through the thin dress pants) an arm loop around his waist. He looked up and Hannibal asked permission silently. Will nodded his head a little more enthusiastically than he had meant. Stupid wine. He’d better grab another glass just in case. Hannibal turned them both to the side, so Franklyn you see them whilst looking longingly at the cheese counter. 

“Dr. Lecter! Dr. Lecter!” 

There Franklyn was, in all his ill-fitting suit glory. His smile beamed, his chest was pushed out, and he even balanced a bit on his toes for an extra inch or so. 

“I had no idea you were attending Dr.! If I would have known we could have come together-” 

Franklyn then spotted the arm. The waist. The Will. 

“Oh I apologize Franklyn how rude of me. This is my partner, Will Graham.” 

Franklyn held out a limp hand and Will shook it. 

“So nice to meet you Franklyn. How do you and Hannibal know each other?” Will smiled almost manically at the short man. 

Will put his arm around Hannibal’s waist in turn, his hand ending up in his back pocket. Somehow...

Franklyn ignored the question. 

“Oh” He said flatly. “Is he a partner in your practice?” He glared at Will who had trouble holding in a giggle. 

“Will works for the FBI actually. We met through a mutual friends and that was that, as they say.” 

Hannibal looked down at Will, nodded, and kissed him. It was a peck. The tiniest touch of lips, but a kiss nonetheless. 

oOo

Franklyn was flabbergasted, and half a second later everything seemed to slow. Franklyn moved forward, cheese flying through the air in slow motion, as his fist shot out. Will, not thinking, pushed Hannibal aside and the punch hit home. 

“WILL!” Hannibal dropped next to the stunned Will and carefully pulled him up. His nose was gushing and his eyes were slightly crossed. Hannibal tugged him close to his chest, and tilted his head back, the blood now running down his temples and onto Hannibal’s suit pants. 

Several individuals had rushed over, slipping on cheese to pin Franklyn (who was now sobbing and clutching his knuckles) down onto the floor.

“Will. Are you alright?” Hannibal was on his way to distraught, and there were now several hand towels held to Will’s face. 

“I’m...I’m something” was all he could mumble. 

Something in the back of Hannibal’s mind clicked and he ran his hands over the back of Will’s skull. He pulled away with blood on his fingers. A probable Concussion. 

Will seemed to be perfectly happy, pain numbed by adrenaline and confusion. He was now officially draped over Hannibal’s lap and whispered serenely, 

“Hanni.” “Did you know you can get an erection with a concussion?” He lifted Hannibal’s hand to his lips licked one of his fingers like a happy puppy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhh erections.


	46. It's a piece of cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanni gets angry, and a dinner party gets a lot more interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guuuuuuuys.
> 
> This is so OOC your eyeballs may fall out. Just a warning. XO

“Will, I would like to invite you to dinner this Friday.” Hannibal was giving Will a ride after a late night of crime fighting and sociopaths gleefully flinging body parts at the team.

Will had been to Hannibal’s a dozen times for dinner, and each time fell deeper and deeper into Hannibal’s food-porn black hole of delight. 

“I’d love to.” Will looked over at Hannibal, who glanced back with his peripheral vision. 

“There’s a catch…” Hannibal cleared his throat, and Will could have sworn the man’s fists tightened on the steering wheel. 

“Ok…” Will was suddenly uncomfortable, and shifted in the heated seat. 

“There will be other people at our dinner.” 

Hannibal stared pointedly at the road, reading Will’s reaction by the intake of breath and distracting crack of knuckles.

“A dinner party?” Will’s voice broke, an awkward adolescent once again. 

“Yes Will. As we have become closer (Hannibal’s voice faltered slightly at the "closer"), I have spoken to some of my acquaintances about you.” 

Will’s brow furrowed and he opened his mouth ready to deliver an angry diatribe. Then Hannibal cut in sharply-

“As a friend I assure you Will. I would never treat you as an experiment. I have simply told them about my interesting, intelligent, and generous friend Will Graham of Wolftrap Virginia.” 

Will was taken aback. He had zero idea how to respond. Thanks Pal?

Hannibal sensed his oncoming “what the fuck do I say” panic attack. 

“I’m not asking for thanks Will. It is simply the truth, and I would love to have my friends finally meet you in person. I’m starting to think they believe you are a figment of my imagination.”

 

“Yeah” Will smiled. “A scruffy curmudgeon with no social skills is in forefront in your imagination.” 

Will blushed furiously at his thoughtless statement, and thanked Jesus for the dark. 

 

oOo

The party consisted of 10 individuals in all, including Will and Hannibal. Eight fucking people to interact with. Will had expected maybe four, but there he sat, nestled between Hannibal and the elegant spouse of someone or other in a sleek emerald cocktail dress. Hannibal proudly introduced Will to each of them, and he promptly forgot all of their names. Hopefully there wouldn’t be an ice breaker after the soup course.

They all sat along Hannibal’s table, bowls of lobster chowder in front of them. There were moans of delight and exuberant compliments to the chef. The wine flowed, as did the conversation. Will actually found himself sort of... comfortable. The food was delicious, and men and women engaged in polite, interesting topics. There were other physicians, event coordinators for Baltimore charities, and a few local restaurant owners. 

They asked Will about Louisiana, the FBI, Wolftrap. These were all questions Will could answer easily without any rehearsal. 

oOo

During a small lull in activity , as they all sipped their drinks contentedly, Hannibal stood.

“Does anyone have room for dessert?” He asked, a perfect impression of a server at a 5 star restaurant. 

The table laughed as a body, and Hannibal looked at Will and winked. He winked. At Will. In front of 8 people. 

Will blushed and glanced around. It looked like only a few had caught the moment and smiled at Will indulgently. 

oOo

Dessert was espresso lava cake topped with fresh raspberries. This was Will’s particular favorite, which the practically omniscient Hannibal of course knew. The sneaky bastard.

They all dug in without ceremony and spoke in small groups, the volume getting slightly louder as more wine bottles emptied.

Will was happily thinking of nothing but his wine when he started, hot breath suddenly in his ear his ear. His neighbor Angela Fitz-something was inches from his cheek and whispered-

“So Will. Are you seeing anyone?”

Will dropped his fork with a clatter. No one seemed to notice, even Hannibal who was involved in a deep conversation with a chef.

“I. I…” Should he be honest? Have a coughing fit? Actually die? Make a run for it?

The woman took his foolish response as a “No”.

“Well then. (Here she put her lips against Will’s ear and touched her tongue to the outer shell) let’s grab a drink after Mr. Poshy Pants kicks us out.” 

And then there was a hand. On his knee. A hand with long predatory nails traveling up his inner thigh. His penis had never been less interested in anything in its life. Something about those nails made Will picture spiders making their towards his crotch…

Will was hella done. 

He flew up out of his seat knocking his chair about 6 feet behind him. Angela whoever-the-fuck, still had a vice grip on Will’s trousers, and Hannibal’s shrewd eyes read the situation immediately. He also rose, standing still and watching dangerously. 

“Mrs. FitzAndrew. I suggest you and your husband leave before I have to escort you out. I don’t believe Mr. Graham is interested in your vulgarities. ” 

The table was silent, and the woman’s husband was twitching in anger. The poor man threw down his napkin and stomped from the dining room. The front door slammed moments later rattling the walls. Mrs. FitzAndrew, who was belligerently drunk at this point, raised an eyebrow and purred-

“Well. Dr. Lecter. Maybe your little pet should make up his own mind.”

Hannibal lost his shit. Every shit he had ever possessed flew away out of an open window and into the night. The entire table gasped in unison as an entire lava cake flew through the air and smashed into Mrs. Fitz-blondie-boobs stupid face. 

“GET THE FUCK OUT”. Hannibal was shouting and red at this point, hand covered in runny chocolate and pathetic smushed raspberries. 

Angela scooted back on her ass and ran stumbling and tripping towards the door. 

The rest of the non- insane part of the table took this opportunity to excuse themselves politely with whispered thanks. Hannibal could only blink at them with glassy eyes, and they disappeared to their cars. 

oOo

Will and Hannibal watched each other. Looking at Hannibal, red faced and breathing roughly, did something strange and wonderful to the typically bashful Will. He approached Hannibal like one of his strays and offered his hand palm up. As he did so, he flashed back to that cake smacking that moronic woman right in the fucking face. All Will's hesitance fell away, and he was going to take what he wanted for once in his fucking life.

Here he grabbed Hannibal’s hand and popped one of those delicious fingers into his mouth. After he had thoroughly licked and sucked off the chocolate, he smeared some on his own lips and slightly exposed clavicle. He looked into Hannibal’s maroon eyed and said simply-

 

“I’m going to eat those pretentious organic berries off your nipples until you beg for me on your knees Dr. Lecter, so I would advise you get rid of that ridiculous waistcoat and get a head start to the bedroom.”

oOo

The next morning, as Hannibal descended the staircase to start breakfast, he noted the brown, messy handprints decorating the walls. He touched one, and decided he wasn’t quite ready to wash them off. Not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, not cannon. 
> 
> But I had trouble with Hannibal having an actual groups of friends he would talk to Will about. It's so weird and un-Hanni. I mean, chucking cake is also but. There it is. 
> 
> And you likes and comments continue to keep me going, even though I always forget to respond. If you knew me and the way my brain functions you would understand. 
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you. Not only do you keep me inspired, but make me a better writer. x


	47. BAEcation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little murder vacay. Heeeeey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, ok. 
> 
> This is a vacation tale. And I honestly was NOT sure where to put it. Here? Trope? Stand alone? I've (obvy) made the executive decision to pop it in here. Not as cracky as some, a TBC, but I think Hanni is at his most human in the following chapter. Curious to get your thoughts you sexy-ass-pervs. 
> 
> Also-this was a fucking BITCH to edit. I apologize for terrible grammar and misspellings. I'm going to come back to it after I give my eyeballs a break and sip a venti toasted white chocolate mocha with extra whip.

“Well Will? What do you say?” 

Will thought. A week in Key West was a lot to ask, even for Jack. He owed a friend a favor apparently, and he was returning it with Will. 

“Can I have a day?” 

Jack frowned. “Fine. Let me know by Saturday morning.” 

He stalked off, a stack of files in his arms. There was some psycho loose in the Keys, making dismembering his new hobby. Lovely. 

Will sighed. He was late for his appointment with Hannibal. Dammit. Hannibal would give him that look...well barely a look. But disapproving anyway. 

oOo

“God I’m so sorry I’m late-Jack-”

Hannibal cut him off, and said with a small smile, 

“I just happened to get off the phone with a Mr. Jack Crawford.” Hannibal sat in his chair and crossed his legs, as Will frowned at him for a moment.

“Does he need you to consult on something? I didn’t realize anything was on…”

Will took his seat with a sigh, his back finally getting a reprieve. 

“He told me about your potential trip to Florida. And made a request in fact.” Hannibal steepled his hands under his chin. 

“Did he try to get you on his team?” Will looked sullen and a little offended. Hannibal, that perceptive bastard, recognized the look in half a second. 

“No no Will. I’m always on your team.” Hannibal leaned over at this point, and gently squeezed Will’s knee. 

Will felt warm, and embarrassed. And horny. Definitely horny. 

 

Hannibal continued and pulled back. 

“His request is that I accompany you. Make sure you keep your feet on the ground.” Hannibal relaxed his posture, looking quite pleased with himself. 

“Oh.” Will has suddenly forgotten most of the English language. 

“A penny for your thoughts good Will?” Hannibal was amused. 

“Do you even own shorts?” Was Will’s dry reply. Hannibal smiled at him affectionately.

“Shall we celebrate with a glass of wine?” 

“God yes.” groaned Will dramatically, rolling his eyes.

Hannibal chuckled again and grabbed a bottle off his desk. 

oOo

 

The flight to the keys was fucking miserable. The plane bounced and bumped during landing, and Will pathetically crushed a barf bag to his chest. 

The only positive was Hannibal holding a cool cloth on his neck. 

It was warm and muggy when he stepped out of the airport, the humidity in the air already suffocating. Even Hannibal had taken off his jacket and vest and rolled up his sleeves. Will found himself quite captivated by Hannibal’s forearms. That would be spank bank material for years. Even his veins were sexy. Was that even a thing? Vein kick? Apparently it was. 

oOo

Will was looking for a bus to take them to wherever it was they were going when a car with black tinted windows glided up beside him. A man, dressed to the nines got out and with a smile asked, 

“Are you Mister Graham?” 

“I...um...yes…” Will stuttered, completely out of his element. 

Hannibal strode past Will and slid right in, motioning at Will climbed to follow. He moaned quietly. The black leather seats were plush as hell, and Will’s ass sighed in relief. 

“Christ!” said Will, looking around the spacious back seat. “I may even owe Jack a call. This is certainly a first.”

“Indeed” returned Hannibal. “Pass me a glass Will. Lets celebrate our holiday.” 

Hannibal pointed to a small bar actually built into the door next to Will. It held an impressive array of whiskey, and several bottles of red wine.

Will decided to just go with it at this point, and grabbed the first bottle he touched. He filled 2 crystal glasses with auburn liquid. 

 

“Here’s to sociopaths in tropical a environment!” Will raised his glass in the air. Hannibal laughed again, (to Will’s joy), and they clinked their glasses companionably. 

oOo

 

“Reservations for Graham and Lecter.” 

The posh tanned woman at the counter clicked away.

“Ah of course. Welcome to The Sunset Sea cottages."

Will expected a basic motel, which was par for the course for the FBI. This was indeed a far cry from a dingy road side hotel with paint peeling off the doors and a bored, underpaid person at reception. The “Sunset Key cottages” were in fact stunning, brightly painted houses sitting right on the sapphire sea. 

Will followed Hannibal, who rolled his fancy pants leather suitcase behind him. The tiny houses were connected by small paths lined with palms and ferns. There were little pebble trails that led off the main sidewalk, and Will spotted benches and bubbling fountains. It was nothing short of stunning.

 

oOo

 

Will was flabbergasted as he walked through the Yellow painted door, into the small house to call home. At least for a week. 

The walls were all painted a soft yellow, with light hardwood floors. None of the furniture matched, but somehow fit together perfectly. The entire place was light and airy, breezes blowing here and there, making the white curtains flutter. There must have been 30 windows throughout the place, some of the walls completely glass. 

There were 2 bedrooms, each with a king sized bed covered in spotless white comforters. Right next to the bed were french doors that Will swung open to reveal the ocean. There was a porch with 2 Adirondack chairs 40 feet from soft white sand. Will collapsed onto his bed and shut his eyes, pretending he lived there. He imagined the dogs frolicking along the beach while he sipped a drink, soaking in an impossibly luminous sunset.

How in the hell did Jack pull this off? 

oOo

 

There was knock on Will’s partially open door and he smirked. Wonder who that could be. 

“Will.” Hannibal bowed his head regally with a passive look on his face. 

“Please enter kind sir” returned Will sitting up. With a wave of his hand he granted Hannibal entrance.

"What’s Jack’s schedule” Hannibal asked, sitting down on a blue upholstered chair. He took a moment to snatch an apple from a basket on the driftwood desk.  
“Well, I texted him just now.” Will looked down at his phone sadly, and reminder of a dark reality. “He says he doesn’t have anything until tomorrow morning I guess. Said he’d alert me with any developments.” 

oOo

In the living room, teak fans whirring pleasantly above them, the 2 men plopped down on a worn leather sofa. Will puffed out his cheeks and let out a slow, zen-esque breath. The old, squishy cushions sunk under their combined weight, and they were immediately shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. Hannibal was completely nonplussed in a very Hannibal-y way. Will expected his own brain to malfunction, sitting so close to object of his amorous affections. He was surprised and happy to realize he was completely relaxed. He stretched out his legs and propped his now bare feet onto the coffee table. 

Hannibal turned and gave him a disapproving look.

Will laughed, “Oh c’mon. It’s vacation right? My feet need a break”. 

Hannibal smirked in hesitant agreement and changed the subject. 

“Let’s find dinner”. 

Here Hannibal leaned towards the coffee table grabbed and large, bound binder. He swatted playfully at Will’s foot with it, and Will blushed from his neck to his hairline. The doctor flipped the pages intently for several minutes then closed the book with a sharp “snap”. 

“I have an excellent idea Will.” He stood and yanked Will up by his elbow. 

“Well, go ahead Dr. Lecter. Astound with your brilliance.” 

Hannibal put on a neutral expression and whispered, “It’s a surprise.” 

Will only had time to grab his phone, key card and wallet before Hannibal pulled him out onto the quaint stone path leading away from the cottages. 

oOo

The sun was setting over the gulf as both Hannibal and Will leaned back in their chairs. Hannibal had brought them to a small, ramshackle restaurant on the beach. The server himself was almost as ramshackle as the place, and simply motioned with a grunt towards the open back doors. 

The view, of course, was stunning, purples and pinks bleeding together, and threadbare clouds moving languidly across the sky. 

 

oOo

Two hours later they sat, their table a graveyard of crustacean parts, and 2 empty bottles of cheap wine sitting off to one side.

Will sat with his legs spread out beneath the table, and even Hannibal’s elbows was halfway draped off the chair arm, his head resting in his palm. 

Hannibal broke the pleasant, sleepy silence first. 

“I haven't had blue crabs in years Will. Thank you for accompanying me.” Hannibal raised his glass.

“Same” replied Will, attempting to take a sip and the finding his glass sadly lacking in wine. “There is something truly satisfying about smashing something with a hammer and picking it apart with your fingers.” Here Will put his forefinger in one of the tiny plastic cups, and licked the melted butter off the tip. “Pretty sure I got a significant amount of shell at the end though.” 

Hannibal chuckled. 

“Perhaps they became angry and decided to retaliate.” 

Will said nothing and turned back to the quickly approaching evening, stars starting to appear over the horizon. Will could have sat for eternity, the smell of the crabs and sea and sand overwhelming his senses gloriously; But his eyelids were beginning to grow heavy with the combination of food and drink and exhaustion. 

Hannibal noticed immediately and stood lazily. “I think it’s time to retire, don’t you Professor?” He only slurred slightly, and was able to stand without any hint of a wobble.

Will rose as well, weaving a bit as he stumbled out of the plastic chair. Hannibal quickly stepped around the table and steadiest Will’s balance with an arm around his waist. They were both silent, save the occasional hiccup, and strolled back out into twilight. 

oOo  
TEE BEE CEE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHEM. 
> 
> I love blue crabs. I love the gulf. One time I swallowed a huge piece of shell and sliced my cheek open. Worth it.


	48. Man friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All crack. Some penis. A hint of drunk Will. Write what you know my mother always said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a blast writing this, and realized. I have COMPLETELY abandoned cannon. Like, goodbye cannon.

Will was buying the first round. Why, he had no idea, but when Bev said a thing, that thing was sure as hell gonna happen. 

So there they sat , several rounds in, pleasantly buzzed. 

“So Will. Will Graham.” Bev hiccupped and thrust her frosty mug at him.

“Truth or dare.” 

Will groaned and stared into his beer. 

“Is this actually happening Bev? I’m not NEAR drunk enough.” Will looked at her wearily. 

“Fine!” Bellowed Bev. “Shots on me!.” 

There was a cheer from Zeller and Price and thus, it began. 

oOo

An hour later they all decided as a group they were CERTAINLY drunk enough for truth or dare. 

“TRUTH OR DARE!” Zeller was sloshed. And loud.

“Shhhhhhhhhh…..” Price whispered, also quite loud. 

Will shrugged, eyelids half closed. He was a content drunk. Happy to sit and listen and fall asleep in a pile of dogs. 

“Uhhh I already did dare right?” Will’s speech slurred. 

“That’s why you have lipstick on dummy.” Bev smiled gesturing at his face. “You’ve got a puuuuuurdy mouth boy.” 

“Fine. Will grabbed a shot from somewhere on the sticky table and winced. “Truth.” 

The table was contemplative for a moment, trying to wrack their fuzzy minds for something at all interesting. 

“Ok. Ok. Got it.” Price pointed at Will with one unsteady finger. “Do you have a girlfriend?” 

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh groaned Bev. Are we in fucking middle school?”

He sniffed. “Do you have anything better?” 

Bev thought. “You know. I really don’t think so.” Here she and the rest of the table turned toward Will. 

Will was thoughtful. Well, as thoughtful as his thoughts could possibly be in his current state. 

“Nope”. He said, shrugging. It was the truth. “But…” he continued mischievously, “I didn’t say I didn’t have a MANfriend.” He raised an eyebrow, proud to have the jump on them. He would probably be sorry in the morning, but. Yolo. 

They all stared at him more or less steadily, and the table all jumped as Bev screamed “I FUCKING KNEW IT”. 

Before much else happened they were kicked out of the bar, and stumbled giggling into the street. 

“Ugh. I need to go hooooooome.” Will whined. 

“Dude.” Zeller was dubious. “You can’t take a fucking uber back to fucking middle of nowhere fucking Virginia.”

Will winked at him. Well, kind of. “Maybe I didn’t MEAN my home.” 

They all whooped and cheered and clapped Will on the back. After a few more minutes of stumbling and burping they were able to summon their prospective rides and part ways. 

oOo

“Goodmorning sunshine.” 

Will was not a happy camper. The unhappiest camper there ever was. 

“Jesus. Do I hate myself or something?” Will peeked up at Hannibal who was holding a fizzy beverage in his hand. 

“Apparently you do, but I must say last night was rather fun.” Hannibal’s dark eyes twinkled in a very un-Hannibally way. 

“Alright then. Just get it over with.” Will reached for the glass of whatever and sipped it. 

Hannibal stood up and took something out of his back pocket. He sat back down on the bed and cleared his throat. 

“Did you seriously write everything down. Oh god of course you did.” Will fall back against the headboard with a thunk and the drink splashed onto his t-shirt. 

Hannibal ignored him and started reading his list.

“To begin with my loveliest little graham cracker, you decided in lieu of knocking on the door like a civilized person, you would throw pebbles you apparently “borrowed” from the neighbor's garden at my window.” 

Will felt the acid broiling in his stomach. “I immediately regret this decision”. 

Hannibal shushed him. 

“Next, you attempted to grope my genitals, tripped and yelled- 

“Your cock tripped me!” Which, dearest, was far from the truth as you were not remotely alluring.” 

“Wow.” Came the muffled answer from a Will now cringing underneath the bedding. 

“Focus please” said Hannibal sternly at the lump under the sheets. “This is both the last, and my favorite.” Hannibal continued without giving Will a chance to grumble. 

“You took out your cell phone, dialed your own number, and attempted to talk to Winston.” 

Will emerged from his blanket fort. “That actually isn’t as bad as I thought.”

Hannibal chuckled and leant down to place a kiss on the mop of unruly curls. 

oOo

Will almost fell into Jack’s office unforgivably late. He didn’t even glance up and began, 

“Christ I’m sorry got a late start”. 

There was silence. Will looked up, and Bev, Jack and the rest of sassy science were smirking at him. 

“What …?” Will was completely baffled. “Someone say something.” 

Bev began, par for the course. “So Will Graham. I hear you have a man-friend.” Bev giggled. 

“A what?” Will squinted at her. 

“A man-friend. Although we all assumed-and you verified-that that meant boyfriend.” Jack hid a laugh in an unconvincing cough. 

Will colored. A lot. A whole whole lot.

“How do you...I dont...what are you…” His words came out in a pathetic jumble. 

“Drunk Will spilled the beans on Sober Will last night.” Bev was about to burst with poorly controlled giggles. 

“Fine. Fine. Yeah I do. Who cares. Let’s just get on with our lives.” Will prepared to look through the murdery photos on Jack’s desk. Jack, with cat like reflexes, snatched the photos away.

“I don’t think so. We need a name Graham.” 

“Fuck that!” Will made an aggressive move to grab for his coat and run from the room. This was also snatched out of his reach. “Fine. I’ll give you a hint. Also I hate you.” 

“We’ll take it.” Bev chimed in, obviously the brains behind this little “intervention”. Will blew out a long exasperated breath. He couldn’t say suits. Too obvious. Attractive? They’d never take it. Oh! There we go. 

He opened his mouth and said a single word: 

“Office”. 

Perfect. They’d think it was someone he worked with. Hannibal didn’t technically work with them. 

Bev frowned deeply.“That is the worst goddamn clue I have ever heard. Even when playing clue.” 

Will shrugged. “That’s what you get my friends". He was off the hook. 

Except he wasn’t. He really really wasn’t.

oOo

Will strolled into Hannibal’s home late that evening and set his key on the table. The keychain on it read “Property of H.L”, a joke gift from his lover for his last birthday. 

“Hey. Where are you? Naked on the loveseat? Naked in the kitchen? Naked in the-”

Will startled when Hannibal grabbed his waist from behind. "JESUS! How do you do that??” Will tried to control his rapid breathing. 

“Good evening my love.” Hannibal turned him around easily and found his lips.

“Wow. Good evening to you as well.” Will returned the kiss, which turned wet and suggestive in moments. Hannibal was the first to pull away, and Will pouted, half hard in his unflattering pants. 

“Will.” Hannibal was all at once disturbingly serious, one light eyebrow raised. Will tried to think of anything he may of done that week. Did Hannibal finally unearth his cheetoh stash? 

Hannibal led him to living room and they both sat on the unbelievably comfortable leather sofa. Will was getting nervous, as the frown on Hannibal’s face hadn’t waned. 

“There’s something I need to discuss with you.” Hannibal looked into Will’s eyes, and continued. “I hear William, you have a man-friend.” Hannibal’s stony composure broke into an evil smirk. Will threw his head back. 

“Jack fucking told you.” Will was somewhere between mortified and amused. 

“He did indeed. From what I hear it’s quite the mystery.” 

Will socked Hannibal in the shoulder and the older man caught his arm. He yanked Will towards him and stuck his hand down the back of his pants. Will gasped and rapidly became monolithic-ally hard. Hannibal began to wiggle his pointer finger in between Will's butt cheeks. He shuddered and clutched Hannibal’s lapels, and was pressed, without ceremony down into the sofa. Hannibal, with his deft fingers, had Will’s pants down and underwear down around his knees in seconds.

He none too gently stroked Will’s cock, which was hot and ready to rumble, and growled into his ear-

“Man-friend”. 

Will came like a geyser into Hannibal’s hand. He lay panting and spent, as Hannibal licked the cum from his fingertips. 

oOo

Bev Katz was confounded. Who was Will’s man-friend. He must work at the BAU right? Office. Office. She mentally ran through the short list of men they worked with daily. Zeller and Price were off the list of course, as was Jack. Office. Bev sighed. She turned and went back to work poking and prodding the bloated corpse laid out before her. Office. 

oOo

It was Thursday evening. Will was relaxing under a heated blanket, with dogs underfoot, and a glass of warm whiskey in his hand. Bliss. He was nodding off when there was a sharp rap on the front door. Will smiled. Hannibal. He decided to chuck his shirt and pants, clad in only a tight pair of boxers. Will threw open the door ready to seduce when-

“BEV! What the Hell?” He covered himself with his hands and retreated into the house. Bev strolled in, unconcerned. “I've seen it all before you know Graham. But I must say, those are shapely thighs my friend.” 

Will reappeared more appropriately dressed and ready to deliver a long lecture on surprise visits when she held out a pizza box, and tantalizing smell coming from inside. Will rolled his eyes dramatically, but not without affection. 

“Come on in I guess. Want a drink?” Bev did. 

oOo

The 2 chatted happily, sipping their drinks and cuddling with various dogs. Bev seemed to have forgotten the “man-friend” thing and focused strictly on gossip and Iron chef. 

“I’ve never eaten a starfish.” Will watched a chef chop off the creature’s poor little legs and pop them in a frying pan. The show was winding down and he stood and stretched his legs. 

“I have to take the dogs out to pee." He walked towards the door and sighed. "Dammit. I left my coat in the car. Bev go put your shoes on and grab it. I gave you whiskey.”

Bev sighed and threw on boots and her own heavy jacket. “And I gave you pizza butt head.” 

“Oh hold on-grab my keys. It’s locked.” Will had already settled back onto the couch to watch the fire dance.

Bev, wrapped in her down jacket crunched through the snow to Will’s wagon. She picked up the keys, looking fruitlessnessly for an automatic unlock button. She grabbed at the key again and missed, fingers already stiffening in the cold. Her clumsy fingers hit something small and square, which was decidedly not a key. She brought it up to her face and grabbed her phone from her pocket. She turned it on, and it illuminated whatever it was on Will’s key chain. 

Her eyes practically popped out of her head. “Property of H.L.” 

Man-friend. Had to be. Right?

oOo

Bev played it cool, helped Will with the dogs, and left with a genuine hug. She jumped into her jeep and sat for a moment, letting it heat up. H.L...H fucking L. The familiar initials were on the tip of her tongue. She knew the answer was floating around somewhere in her brain. 

 

oOo

Bev rushed into Jack’s office at literally the crack of dawn, as the sun was barely breaking the horizon. Jack was exhausted, a stack of paperwork half concealing his face.

“Bev, unless you have something mind blowing to say…”

“Shut up. Look. “ Bev thrust her phone into Jack’s face before he had time to yell at her for insubordination. 

Jack squinted at her phone. “Property of H.L?” 

“It’s on his keychain Jack. His fucking keychain.” She bounced impatiently on her toes. 

“Wait...Whose…” Jack was perplexed.

“WILL FUCKING GRAHAM.” Bev slammed a hand down onto Jack’s desk. Jack picked up the phone with purpose this time and analyzed the photo. Property of H.L. Then it clicked. The clickiest click that ever clicked.

“Bev. Call everyone. Now.” Jack slapped the phone back into her palm with intent. 

oOo

They were all gathered in the morgue, the pretense being, of course, a body. It wasn't exactly a lie, there WERE bodies in the morgue, just none of any interest. Will walked in and saw them all sitting around nonchalantly. He mindlessly pulled on a pair of gloves. 

“Well guys. What is so important to drag me in here at 5 fucking am.” Will yawned and glared at Jack. 

“Don’t worry.” Bev interrupted his stink eye. “We’re grabbing it.”

Will walked over and looked around. No body. 

“Where the corpse?” Will plucked at the white sheet, flat on the table.

“Hold on, Zeller will grab it" Jack chimed in. "So what are you and Hannibal up to this weekend?” He shoved his hands into his and pockets and looked calm and mildly interested.

Will glanced up, and without a thought in that pretty little head answered-

“Ugh he’s making me go to this charity whatever. You should see the suit he got me. Christ.” 

Will cracked his knuckles and realized what had he done. His face turned scarlet and his mouth gaped unattractivly.

Jack couldn’t contain himself any longer, and let out a deafening laugh. Bev joined him, as did Price and Zeller. 

“HANNIBAL LECTER WILL! OMG! DOES HE HAVE A HAIRY CHEST!? I BET HE DOES!” Bev was literally screaming, while Will was fuming, both embarrassed and bewildered. 

“YOU KNOW WHAT?” Will screeched at all of them, the sound echoing throughout the room. 

“HE’S MY MAN FRIEND OK? YOU GOT ME. WE GO TO DINNER AND MAKE OUT AND FUCK IN THE KITCHEN. THAT’S RIGHT. ON THE TABLE WHERE ALL YOU ASSHOLES EAT!”

He turned on the practically hyperventilating Bev and continued his tirade. 

“AND HE HAS A HAIRY CHEST. HAIRY AS FUCK.”

Will took off his gloves and threw the little latex ball at Bev’s head. He turned and stormed out, peals of laughter following him down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the manliest of friends.


	49. Happy New Year Hanni

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this started out as cracky as cracky is ever cracky. Somehow it ended in feels. A New Years bash. Some smutty smut. Cracky crack. Feely feels. 
> 
> You guys continue to be a light in my life. xoxoxo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to get this in under the wire for New Years eve but. Obviously didn't happen. Only...5 days late. Hemhem. Please forgive me.

“You have to stop doing that.” Will spat angrily into Hannibal’s ear. 

“And what is that?” Asked Hannibal, nipping at the back of Will’s neck.

“That! That right there. You realize people are going to find out right? And it’ll be this big fucking scandal and I really don’t want to deal with that right now.” Will had pushed away from Hannibal and looked, paranoid, down the empty hall. 

“Will.” Hannibal was nonplussed. “Someone will find out eventually, and I for one want to show off my prize to the world.” He pushed up against Will’s back in the empty office and stroked, feather light, over Will’s zipper. Fuck. 

“Fine. One time. But I’m topping” Will sighed, defeated, and began to unbutton his shirt. Before he even pulled out of the sleeves, Hannibal pounced on him from behind like a hungry wildcat and they crashed to the floor. 

oOo

From that moment on, Hannibal completely kept his distance from Will in public. He stood further away, and always spoke overly polite to him. Per example-

“Mr. Graham. If you would be so kind to assist me in folding back these skin flaps?” He then smiled tightly at Will with a short nod of his head. The skin flaps were pulled back, pushed back in, and with a glance at Will he disappeared to his car. 

Funnily enough, someone began to notice. 

oOo

“Hey Will.” 

Bev had wandered into Will’s room after class as the students shuffled out. 

“Hey Bev! Wanna grab a coffee?” 

Will was feeling feeling downright cheery, being the recipient of especially exploratory rim job that morning. Nothing like a nice 6am crack snack to get a guy going. 

“That sounds great actually.” Bev perched on his desk while he gathered his papers.

“God Graham. You have so much crap.” She looked at her nail beds and yawned. 

“Shut it Katz.” 

oOo

Soon they sat comfortably in the cafeteria and sipped mediocre lattes. 

“Hey question” began Bev, gently kicking Will’s leg under the table. “What’s up with you and Dr. Lecter?” She took a long slug and waited. 

“What do you mean?” Will stiffened and squeezed the paper cup until a little foam shot of out the hole in the lid.

“Did you guys stop the therapy ? Or did you fight about something? It’s kind of killing the vibe during autopsies.” 

Will thought. Quickly. 

“Um no it’s fine. I just...haven’t had an appointment in awhile”. He knew it was a weak fucking excuse but that's all he had at the moment. 

“Oh.” Bev just looked at him, deducing the lie. There was something in his frazzled words she couldn’t quite put her finger on. 

oOo

“Hannibal. You’re really over doing the prick act. Bev Katz asked if we had fought or something,” Will snapped, arms crossed.

Hannibal was sitting in his living room, reading a thick biography of some famous whoever. 

“It’s what you asked for my love. And I never disappoint.” Hannibal licked his lips and grabbed Will’s hips until he tripped forward into Hannibal’s lap.

“Wow. You’ve been really horny recently.” Will choked out as Hannibal ran his hands over Will’s plump, delicious ass cheeks. 

“It’s like foreplay.” Hannibal breathed out against Will’s ear “Not being near you, not brushing your hand with mine. Not smelling that new lavender shampoo. I’ve become even more ravenous for you Officer Graham.”

Will could never resist the “Officer Graham” bit. He grabbed the back of Hannibal’s neck and pushed his tongue down his throat. It took about 10 seconds and they were each clumsily divested. Will couldn’t wait for belt buckles or zippers and began to grind against Hannibal’s equally psyched erection. 

“I’m going to make you come in your $500 pants Dr. Lecter.” Will whispered evilly.

And about 5 seconds later, with Will’s finger tips fondling the good doctor’s nipples, the $500 pants were toast.

oOo

The Quantico New Year’s eve bash was around the corner. Will typically showed up for an hour, made a quick round, and went home to his dog pile. Before Hannibal anyway.

“Jack invited me Will. It would be rude not to attend.” Hannibal was looking in the mirror, adjusting his lapels.

“Fine. We’ll go early, slip out, you can stick your tongue in my ass, and then fuck me on every surface in the house.”

Hannibal turned back to Will, facing away from the bedroom mirror. 

“The sounds lovely.” Hannibal kissed Will with pleasant domesticity and left for work. 

oOo

The party wasn’t bad, Will had to admit. It was held at a small, cozy bar right on the water. He had arrived separately from Hannibal which, he had to say, was getting old. He missed him. The man he lived with. And saw every damn day. What the hell Graham.

Will sat at a small table in a corner of the bar sipping champagne. The maroon walls and fairy lights twinkling along the molding made for a festive, relaxed atmosphere. 

“Hey Graham.” Bev sat across from him with 2 more glasses of bubbly. 

“Hey.” Will said flatly, grabbing the second glass and chugging it. 

“Whoa. Maybe slow down? What’s up with you Mr. Grumpy pants. Seriously, I’m getting kind of worried.” 

“Sorry” mumbled Will, setting down the empty flute. “I’ve just been really tired.” 

“I don’t believe you, but I’m here if you want to talk.” She smiled, and grabbed another stuffed shrimp from a waiter floating by. Will smiled and held up another full glass. Bev laughed and they clinked and ate shrimp and began to thoroughly enjoy themselves. 

oOo

Hannibal arrived at the party, a strategic hour after Will.

“Dr. Lecter!” Jack strode over and grabbed Hannibal’s hand in a strong handshake.

“Jack. Thank you for inviting me. This happens to be one of my favorite Baltimore spots.” 

Jack thrust a glass at him. 

“Enjoy Dr. Lecter! The champagne is that way and snacks are rotating around if you can catch them.” He then went off to join someone or other, his laughter loud and jolly. 

Hannibal saw Will in the back but didn’t alert him to his presence immediately. He drank some, mingled some, and ate some. The view of the water was stunning, so he stood in front of the wall of windows for long minutes. He was gazing out at the water, mind happily fuzzy when there was a rough pinch to his right ass cheek. He jerked out of his daydreams and turned around. 

Will Graham, slightly ruffled curls out of place, grinned at him like an insane person. 

“Will….What are you…” 

He was cut off when Will dragged him by the sleeve to the middle of the room. 

“It’s almost midnight doctor. And you know what happens at midnight?” 

Hannibal didn’t answer as the room began to count down. 

“5! 4! 3! 2! 1…”

Everyone cheered at midnight, but Hannibal barely heard the delighted shouts. Will Graham had his arms around Hannibal’s waist, and held on tightly, like he never wanted to let go. 

“Happy New Year” said Will, his lovely eyes sleepy. 

Then he was being kissed. Kissed and groped and fondled. The room barely noticed the two men grappling at each other against the wall.

Hannibal pulled away for some much needed oxygen, and found Jack Crawford’s eyes over Will’s shoulder. He raised his glass at Hannibal with a smile, and went back to celebrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like tiny feels. Right?


	50. Less Talkin' More Stalkin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesus. I love Franklyn. I had to bring him in for chapter 50. 
> 
> And, I stole this idea at a wonderful suggestion from a wonderful reader. 
> 
> Oh my gourd so much crack. So much OOC. #yolo
> 
> xoxoxoxoxo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 50 CHAPS OMGGGG. 
> 
> You realize I couldn't have made it without your incredible support riiiiight. I really treasure you all. 
> 
> Well fraaaands, here's some Frankie for ya. He needs a hug.

The appointment was going well. Franklyn had attempted to steer the conversation towards the opera and the theater and cheese. Hannibal would, of course, try to maneuver the topics back to Franklyn and his “issues.” 

 

“Franklyn. Let’s discuss your relationship with your father.”

 

Franklyn chuckled under his breath. Poor Hannibal, trying to hide his feelings, and aching to let Franklyn break through those smooth, marble walls. He imagined them sitting in a chateau in the south of France, gazing over the serene landscape, and sharing a bottle or 2 of sparkling white. There was a gap of silence in the room, as Hannibal waited for his answer. The man was practically begging for a dinner invitation. Franklyn smiled knowingly at the doctor. 

 

“Dr. Lecter (or Hannibal, as he called him in his fantasies) would you care to join me for dinner? There is a wonderful little place called Rena-”

He was cut off. 

 

“Franklyn” continued the doctor. “As I've told you many times, it would be inappropriate for me to accompany any patient to dinner. Or anywhere outside this office.” 

 

Franklyn smiled fondly. Oh Hannibal. 

 

“I’m afraid” said Hannibal, with barely concealed relief in his smooth voice,”that our hour has come to an end. In fact I’m a few minutes late for my next appt.”

 

Franklyn allowed himself to be led to the door when he was struck by a thought. 7pm appointment? Franklyn knew for a fact Hannibal didn’t take patients past 6. Initially he had fruitlessly tried to book a 7 pm spot, thinking it may lead to dinner, which would lead to drinks, which may lead to…. When he went through the door, Franklyn saw a man stand up briskly. He was quite unkempt, and donned a plaid-khaki nightmare. His eyes, however, lured Franklyn in. They were large and blue, with lashes long enough to brush against the lenses of his glasses. And depressingly enough, Franklyn noted under all that stubble was a flawless jaw, which drew his eyes to lips of which he could have written poetry. Franklyn seethed. 

 

“Will! Please come in!” 

 

Hannibal then smiled, a genuine cordial smile bearing his teeth. Had he ever smiled at Franklyn like that? Maybe? Either way he was ready to jump the curly brunette heading towards the doctor. The nameless man also smiled, appearing exhausted. 

“Please” said the man smiling back, “tell me you have a bottle of something breathing or some 200 year old scotch.” He gave Hannibal’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before he was led (by a masculine hand on his lower back what the fuck) into the office. The doors closed behind them, leaving only muffled voices coming through. Will. Will who? Frankyn had some research to do. 

 

oOo

 

The next Friday Franklyn “ accidentally” spilled his glass of water, sending Hannibal off for a towel. He had about a minute, which is all he needed. The doctor’s appointment book was open on his desk, and there it was. Will Graham. Finally, everything was coming up Franklyn.

He was able to keep things professional during their next session, with only an "alluring" grin here and there. When He left, he gave the waiting Will a dubious look and stopped in front of him. Will looked at him, clearly confused. Before khaki/plaid could say anything Franklyn replaced the sneer with a smile. 

 

“Hello, Franklyn Froideveaux, another patient of Dr. Lecter’s”. He held out a plump hand.

 

Will had no idea what to do in the situation, meeting an “actual” patient of Hannibal’s. Should he shake his hand? He decided a quick intro would get him out of the waiting room as swiftly as possible. 

 

“Um hello. Will Graham.” Will stuck out his hand weakly and Franklyn grasped it far tighter than necessary.

 

“And what do you do Mr. Graham?” 

 

“Um professor” Will mumbled. 

 

“Goodnight Franklyn” was Hannibal’s only response, an obvious dismissal. Franklyn merely nodded at the doctor and took his leave.  
oOo

 

Franklyn hauled ass to the nearest coffee shop and sat down in the back. He pulled out his phone and googled “Will Graham, professor, Baltimore”.  
The name came up immediately. There was article after article of Will solving crimes, making people uncomfortable, and in general being a weirdo genius. One of the more degrading pieces even mentioned his area of residence! Wolftrap FUCKING Virginia. After several moments of thought, Franklyn decided there could only be one real plan of action. Following Professor Graham would be no easy feat, but Franklyn was confident that with his skill, and intelligence, he could pull it off.  
oOo

 

Two Fridays in a row Franklyn tailed Will. He would turn around halfway to Virginia, figuring nothing particularly interesting as going on out in the sticks. 

 

But tonight? Tonight was different. Franklyn was parked down the street from Hannibal's office under the shadow of a large oak. He saw Will exit, but as soon as he put his keys in the ignition, he saw Hannibal following right behind him. Franklyn tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he watched BOTH men get into Hannibal’s Bentley. The long black car pulled out and Franklyn fired up his engine. Shit was about to get REAL. 

 

He followed them several cars back, sneakily passing people and moving back and forth between lanes. He continued to creep behind them and then abruptly screeched to a stop when Hannibal made a sharp turn. The Bentley pulled in behind a tiny restaurant, and Franklyn watched sadly as together they strolled into the place, chatting companionably.

 

Almost 2 hours later they exited the doors of the restaurant. They were laughing about something and Hannibal opened the door for Will. Franklyn was about to start up when Hannibal looked his way, noting the car with a calculating expression. He knew something was up. Of course he did. This was Hannibal Lecter, sharp as a blade. In a panic Franklyn threw the car into reverse and made a highly illegal u-turn. His tires squealed as he sped away. Shit shit shit. 

 

oOo

 

Hannibal knew something was amiss. He had seen the car once before, but couldn’t place where. He was frustrated with himself, Wondrous Will being a constant distraction.  
Hannibal sat at his desk the next day and pondered. The pondering soon ebbing away to thoughts of Will Graham and his captivating conversation, marvelous mind, and edible ass. 

 

oOo

 

Franklyn knew he had to be more careful. He made a quick call to his mother, and soon found himself hitting the streets in her P.T. Cruiser. Brilliant, he thought to himself. Brilliant. The next Friday he left Hannibal’s in somewhat of a rush, mentioning something about a dinner with friends. Hannibal had forgotten Franklyn’s hurried words as soon as they left his mouth when he spotted Will. Franklyn gasped. Today the khakis were replaced with slender black slacks, a dark blue button up, and what he assumed was a suit jacket draped over his arm. Frankyn was shaking with anger, and jumped into the Cruiser with refreshed intent and vigor. 

 

The men came out the same door, again laughing, and again getting into Hannibal’s car. Franklyn waited a moment, and slowly followed them down the road. The drive wasn’t long, and 10 minutes later he saw, from a distance, the car pulling up to a large, stately brick home. Franklyn decided at this point, going on foot was necessary

 

oOo

 

At first it was easy. Hannibal’s dining room appeared to be on the main level of the house. He waited in some thick, spiky bushes before leaning out and holding binoculars to his eyes. There they were, Hannibal at the head of the table and Will to his right. They ate, and Will closed his eyes several times, and appeared to be complimenting the chef. Franklyn would give his right testicle to be in that spot right now. 

He had begun to fantasize when he slapped his own cheek. He had to be diligent; However, that moment of bliss had him totally fucked. They were gone! The dishes were cleared, and the table was empty. What if they had gone upstairs? On his knees Franklyn shuffled around the side of the house, trying to take advantage of the darkest shadows. There! A light flicked on right above his head. He stood up flattening himself against the wall to the side of the window, almost laughing in relief seeing the curtains wide open. With a deep breath, he took a peak, and his eyes bugged out cartoonishly at the sight inside. 

Dr. Hannibal Lecter had Professor Will Graham backed against the wall of what must be the study. He was doing something to the other man’s neck that made him open and close his mouth in ecstasy. Then this “Will’s” shirt slipped off his shoulders, the product of speedy multi-tasking by Hannibal. Then the Dr...he...he...he dropped to his knees!? Now he could see, clear as fucking day, Will Graham’s substantial penis being pulled out of his now undone pants; and although Hannibal’s head was in the way, Franklyn could make a pretty educated guess that he wasn’t tying his shoes. 

With an audible "thunk" Will slammed his head against the wall and began to tug Hannibal’s short hair. Was it falling in his eyes? The way it did occasionally when Franklyn sat across from him? At this poignant memory he lost all pretense of self control, and slammed his fist against the window pane. 

 

Hannibal leapt up and in 2 strides was at the window. Franklyn couldn’t move, not only stunned but caught in a large shrubbery. Hannibal glanced out and spotted him, red faced and sweating, while desperately yanking at his pant leg. 

“Franklyn” came a muffled voice from inside. “We will discuss this next Friday.” 

 

With that Hannibal drew the curtains, and in about half a second, a very male voice shouted out, “FUCK HANNIBAL YES!”

 

Definitely not tying his shoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heart you guys! Poor, sexually frustrated Franklyn.


	51. The enchanted forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah! You sneaky little shits...
> 
> Also-I apologize for mistakes. I really wanted to get this puppy up. I've edited, but who the hell knows. AMIRITE??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is an ode to my new favorite kink. 
> 
> Some pwning on both sides fam.
> 
> You continue to inspire me daily. XO

Will was late. Not just a few minutes-but an unforgivable twenty. His phone was dead, and Hannibal would give him that horrible “I’m not angry just disappointed” look. 

Fuck. 

He didn’t even bother to knock, and stumbled in with an “I’m so sorry I’m late I got stuck-”

His thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Hannibal in nothing but a pair of his expensive trousers, completely bare from the waist up.

“Will! I apologize! I had to get this stain taken care of quickly. My last patient thought for some reason an embrace was in order. Her garish lipstick somehow found my collar, and well.” 

Hannibal actually frowned, in something nearing a Hannibal-y pout. Will, however, had stopped listening as soon as Hannibal had begun speaking. He openly stared at Hannibal’s hard chest covered in soft curling chest hair, alternating between brown and blondish and gray. It was utterly masculine, and utterly Hannibal. Will had zero idea what had happened to reality, and just stood for a moment in a stupor. He pants were getting tight...oh so tight. 

“Will? Are you alright?” Hannibal squinted at him, concerned. 

“Oh yes. Yes I’m fine. Sorry. Thanks. I mean. Yeah.” His grasp of the english language had completely escaped him. 

Hannibal only chuckled and buttoned up a new shirt. He left a little one open right at the top, where you could get a tantalizing glimpse of hair periscoping over his collar.

 

oOo

 

Hannibal had of course seen Will’s reaction immediately. His flushed cheeks, frozen stance, and the steady growth in his groin. It was delicious. He smiled a dastardly grin, and decided it was time to play a game. A game where everyone was a winner, and would involve Will Graham having unlimited access to any and all of Hannibal’s body hair. 

oOo

Will drove home from his appointment confused, hungry, and relentlessly horny. His erection lasted almost all the way to wolftrap, and he sighed in relief as it calmed in the frozen night air. He went inside, fed the dogs, fed himself, and browsed through his kindle library. Unfortunately this half hearted attempt at distraction failed, and he jumped off the couch in a huff. What he needed was a shower. A good, long, shower. 

The warm water eased the tightness in Will’s shoulders and he released a long breath. The incident of the erotic chest hair was a fluke. Who knew where these random human urges came from right? His mind was blank for a blissful moment until his traitorous brain decided to rewind to the image of a shirtless Hannibal. Dammit. 

There was nothing for it. His erection went 0 to 60 and began whining at him to do SOMETHING for god sake. He complied and began to stroke roughly, not interested in teasing himself tonight. In his mind he felt Hannibal’s broad chest, with those salt and pepper hairs, dragging against his own relatively bare one. He could practically feel it tickle his nipples, and that was all it took. He jerked, almost out of control of his faculties, and came onto the shower wall with a yelp. He watched as the semen mixed with the now tepid water and disappeared down the drain. He was screwed. 

oOo

Hannibal sat sedately in his study, thoroughly pleased with himself. He knew just the way to play it. He would taunt Will with little peeks of bare skin, all “accidental” of course. He swirled a glass of wine, and chuckled at his own evil genius. 

 

oOo

The next week Will happily accepted Hannibal’s dinner invite. He thought he had gotten over the little Hannibal hair situation, and felt relatively confident as he strode up to Hannibal’s front door. He was holding a bottle of port in one hand, and some case notes in the other. He knocked smartly, and heard a shuffle from inside. 

“Will! You’re early!” Hannibal made an effort to look flustered and confused. 

Will barely heard him. He straight up dropped the case files and zeroed in on Hannibal’s shirt. It was almost completely unbuttoned, and the fabric left nothing to the imagination. Will was officially not over the Hannibal hair situation. It somehow looked thicker through the barely there shirt, and Will felt his mouth fill with saliva. 

Will pulled himself out of whatever the hell was going on in his mind and stuttered-

“I..I’m sorry...didn’t you say 8?” Will bent down to retrieve the files now all over the porch. 

“I believe we said 8:30. But no matter. I’m always happy to have you here, whether it be early or late.”

He ushered Will inside and took the bottle of port, lest Will’s trembling hands betrayed him. Hannibal himself was quite... interested, and adjusted himself as he followed Will inside. 

oOo

Will was barely able to get through dinner. Hannibal had put a soft, dark blue sweater over the shirt, but he still saw it in his mind. His vivid imagination re-created every detail of the man shirtless. He had been too distracted to even get a good look at his nipples. He made a note to do so next time. Not there would be a next time. Get it together Graham. 

oOo

Hannibal was very satisfied with the data he had gleefully collected from the dinner. He lay in bed that evening stroking himself slowly, thinking of Will Graham’s curls against his neck

 

The next morning Hannibal was dragging. He tossed and turned during the night more than he liked to admit, thinking about Will Graham and his strange beautiful mind. That sharp jawline, and full mismatched lips. He was getting in deep, and decided to up his efforts. He sat down with a cup of turkish coffee and sorted through his ideas. 

Franklyn Froideveaux, of all people, was the one who planted the seed in Hannibal’s mind. The pathetic man was going on and on about something, and occasionally reaching for a tissue. Hannibal held his notebook in his almost slack hands and put on his best “I’m listening” face that he was having trouble holding onto. 

Franklyn had noticed his blank expression at this point and asked quietly, 

“Dr, Lecter? Are you feeling ok?” Franklyn leaned forward in his chair, close enough to touch him. 

“I’m fine Franklyn. I think I may be coming down with something” he lied. Wait….

It hit him. That was it!!! Thank you Frank!

oOo

“Will. I’m sorry but will have to cancel our appointment for this evening.” Hannibal coughed rather dramatically and gave a small moan.” 

Will, as Hannibal suspected, offered his help. 

“Hannibal you sound really bad. Are you taking something?”. 

“At this point”, wheezed Hannibal, “I seem to be out of…” Hannibal thought for a second…”Nyquil?” That was it...wasn’t it. 

Will rolled his eyes. 

“I’ll be there in about an hour.” Will was holding the phone between his shoulder and ear, and slipping on his boots.

“Will...you really don’t have to-” 

“I want to. See you soon.”

Hannibal began to undress, satisfied, and made his way to bed. 

oOo

Hannibal had unlocked the door, so Will quietly let himself into the rather looming house. He slipped off his shoes and coat, and threw his keys into a bowl on a table by the door. This subtle domestic action escaped him as he went in search of Hannibal’s bedroom. 

“Hannibal?” He called, carrying a full plastic bag with him. 

“Here” whispered Hannibal, followed by a pathetic little hack. 

“Jesus! You look terrible.” Will was obviously concerned, and already digging around in the bag. 

“You shouldn’t have Will, really.” The doctor attempted to look guilty, but couldn’t quite get there. 

“Oh hush. I brought nyquil and tylenol pm if you prefer. There's...lets see...distilled water...and saltines.” Will was already opening the nyquil. 

“Thank you Will.” rasped Hannibal. He then sat up, covers falling down into his lap. 

Fucking hell. Will cleared his throat and clutched at the nyquil. Hannibal’s hair was now glistening with sweat (olive oil) and the hair seemed to almost...glitter? What the fuck? He was lost for any other words and just accepted it. 

“Will?” Asked Hannibal. “Would you mind measuring that out?” He nodded at the tiny cup on the bedside table. 

“Yeah. Yes of course.” 

He filled the cup up to the line with the thick, green liquid and handed it to Hannibal. He threw it back without ceremony and grimaced. 

Will sympathized, and handed him the 9$ bottle of water. 

“Thank you Will. So very much.” Hannibal’s smile was sleepy but genuine, and Will couldn’t help but squeeze his upper arm in assurance. 

“It’s my...pleasure” returned Will, and put the lid back on the menthol smelling bottle. 

oOo 

It was on his way home late that evening, well, early morning really, that Will caught on. 

He was deep in thought, thinking about Hannibal and his boner inducing ways of late. Will had seen more chest hair in the last 2 weeks than he had in a lifetime. He was always so pristine, his image perpetually immaculate. Wait...could it be...

Hannibal was totally fucking with him! How did it take him this long to figure it out?? Hannibal must have noticed that first night in his office. Godammit. He was supposed to have an empathy disorder for christ sake. The dinner “confusion”, the “flu”. Will fumed for a moment, which was rapidly replaced with excitement and arousal. The game was on doctor. The game was on.

oOo

Will walked into Hannibal’s office on Friday evening beaming. Wearing a sweater over his usual plaid button up. 

Will put his bag down and greeted the other man. 

“Will! Good evening. Can I interest you in a brandy?”

“That sounds great, thank you.” Will plopped himself down into his usual chair, knowing Hannibal preferred to serve him himself. 

“Cheers” said Hannibal, and gently clinked Will’s own glass.

 

As usual they discussed everything, both work and life relates. After an hour or so, Will stood up and wiped his brow. 

“I’m sweltering for some reason. Give me a second.” 

Will stood, and started to pull his sweater up over his head. He knew very well the shirt would come up with it, revealing his belly button and the outline of a hip bone.

“Hannibal, could you grab my shirt?” Will asked, muffled by the fabric. Luckily it also hid his cheshire cat smile.

There was silence for a long moment while Will was trapped in his sweater. 

“Of course Will.” Hannibal mumbled, very uncharacteristically. 

The backs of Hannibal’s knuckles brushed against Will’s stomach, and the soft hair there.Holy hell.

It dawned on Hannibal much sooner than it had Will. So, he had underestimated his mongoose. 

Instead of pulling Will’s shirt down he yanked it up and ran a hand over his chest. 

Will laughed still inside his sweater. 

“Taste of your own medicine Dr. Lecter.” 

Hannibal ripped the sweater off Will’s frame and pulled his shirt open. 

“Hannibal ...fuck.” Will squeaked as Hannibal teased one of Will’s nippled with the tip of his tongue. 

“Touche my dearest. Touche.” With these words, Hannibal pushed Will against the wall and kissed the living fuck out of him. Naughty boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forest...like hair. Or something.


	52. Stop WINEing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal has a secret. Will tries to discover it? BUT WILL HE?????? 
> 
> No seriously does he or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty. This came to me and I had to get it down. I'm totes excited to dive into all the amazing requests I've gotten here and on facespace. You guys know how it is. It hits you and it has to be given life.
> 
> I'm continually amazed by your love and support. xo

“I’ve deduced something.” Will looked at Hannibal smugly, whilst swirling a glass of wine in a delicate circle. 

Hannibal smiled at his tone. 

“And what, may I ask, is this incredible deduction?” Hannibal sniffed his own glass before taking a small sip.

“You never split the bottle.” Will took a sip of his own. 

Hannibal was confused for a moment and frowned at Will, who continued. 

“The wine. The bottle of wine. I always have 3 glasses and you only take one.” 

Hannibal considered him, his face blank. 

“Please continue” said Hannibal, enjoying Will’s little game. 

“At first I thought it was just your overdeveloped sense of hospitality. However, at the christmas party, where there was more than enough for everyone, you still only had one glass.” 

Will was beaming at this point. Hannibal raised an eyebrow and considered him, and Will took this as a sign to keep going. 

“It was confirmed at the orchestra a few weeks after. It was obviously an open bar, and still only a single glass.” 

Hannibal was now wishing he hadn’t decided to include the sexy little shit as his plus one. 

“And so Will. What are your conclusions.” Hannibal sat the glass on the arm of his chair, folding his hands in perfect psychiatrist fashion. 

“Well” said Will triumphantly. “You get wine drunk.”

oOo

Hannibal sat looking at Will for a few moments. He really only had 3 choices. 

1.) He could pretend he had no idea what “wine drunk” meant.  
2.)He could laugh and make up an excuse.   
3.) He could come clean. 

He made his decision and picked his glass back up. 

“And what, pray tell, is wine drunk?” Hannibal looked thoroughly uninterested. 

Will grinned. 

“That is bullshit Doctor, and you know it.” Will threw back the rest of his glass and went to get the bottle off Hannibal’s desk. 

Hannibal narrowed his eyes and said nothing. Will laughed and began to refill his own glass. 

“Ok fine doctor, I’ll play along.” Will cleared his throat dramatically. “Wine drunk is a state of mind where some individuals get extremely pliable. This may mean sleepy, it may mean affectionate, it may mean honest. It really depends on the individual."

Will sipped, this time considering Hannibal, who sat stock still. 

Hannibal spoke again.

"I promise you Will. It simply has to do with rather bad acid re-flux.” Hannibal still hadn’t picked his almost full glass back up. 

“Again I call bullshit!” Cried a now ecstatic Will. “You forget I know your decadent eating habits. You do not have acid reflux.”

Hannibal sighed. “I assure you good sir. This is a ridiculous notion, and it is by all means a myth.” 

Will drank his second glass down and went to make his exit. 

“Prove it” He said simply, before he disappeared out the door with a poof of dog hair. 

oOo

Will was absolutely right. Hannibal was a straight up wine drunk. He was always reduced to being a soft, pliable little kitten after moving on from his first glass. He tried to ignore Will’s little bet at the end, thinking himself the bigger man etc. 

But he knew he couldn’t. Damn Will Graham.

oOo

It had months ago become a tradition for Will to join Hannibal for dinner after his appointment. There were even occasions when Will would spent the night in one of the guest rooms, the time stretching too late, or if the whiskey had flowed more abundantly after dessert. 

 

That Friday, as Will followed Hannibal home, the doctor knew he had to figure out something. He was not about to get wine drunk in front of Will Graham. Things might get awkward...pretty damn quick. He would try simple evasion first, on the off chance it would work. 

oOo

Will sat down at the beautifully set table, opulent enough for a black tie dinner party, rather than just the 2 of them. Hannibal took a steadying breath, decided it was time to begin his ruse. 

“Will. Can I get you something to drink?” He asked, looking (he thought) completely normal.

Will was sipping from a glass of ice water. 

“Why yes Hannibal! I would love a glass of WINE.” The emphasis on the word was clear. 

“Your wish is my command. I’ll be right back.” However, as Hannibal turned to walked away, he abruptly turned back towards Will with a feigned look of surprise and dismay. 

“Oh! I have something for you to try! It seems to have slipped my mind. Please excuse my rudeness.”

He brought out a bottle of whiskey, which was incredibly smooth, incredibly earthy, and incredibly expensive. Hannibal smiled widely as Will looked up at him expectantly. He carried two crystal glasses, which caught the soft light from the chandelier and threw delicate patterns onto the dark walls. 

Hannibal poured for them both without a word, and let Will take a small swallow. 

“Holy shit.” He whispered reverently. “This is incredible.” Will watched Hannibal take his own small taste and it hit him. 

“HA” he yelled, making Hannibal slosh the drink dangerously close to his tie. “You’re stalling!” 

Hannibal grimaced and knew he was beat. Still, he had to maintain a sense of dignity.

“Pardon me?” More weak attempts at confusion. 

“I know your game Mr. Poker face. But I’ll give you this one.” Will raised his glass and lifted an eyebrow smugly. And what a perfect eyebrow it was. 

oOo

Hannibal wasn’t really surprised this first attempt fell short. But he needed...something…

Unfortunately, for him, the doc fell into the “Affectionate and honest” category on the very scientific wine drunk scale. He couldn’t very well spill to Will Graham that he wanted to nibble his adam’s apple could he? No. He really couldn’t.

oOo

Will walked into Hannibal’s office the next week and threw his coat on the settee (something he would only tolerate from one, Will Graham).

“Will, please help yourself to a drink.” He gestured at a glass of malbec on his desk. “But I’m afraid there may not be more than a glass left. It’s one of my favorites and I found myself lost in thought for a bit.” Hannibal held his breath. 

Will looked dubious, but took the bottle and poured a glass anyway. They chatted companionably for awhile, before rose and stretched. 

“I’m sorry I have to run so soon. Jack shenanigans. I’m going to use your bathroom real quick.” 

Hannibal nodded and began to half heartedly look through papers. 

Will was absentmindedly washing his hands and glanced down at the sink and saw a thin small purple ring around the drain. Could that be….? No... Hannibal was far too meticulous to leave any surface less than immaculate. Although, Hannibal had mentioned he was taken a bit by surprise today when Franklyn burst into his office, unwelcome and weeping. Holy fuck. He had been interrupted during this small crime.

Will composed himself, and exited the room. When he emerged into the office, Hannibal smiled serenely and stood to walk him out. Will stepped into Hannibal’s space as soon as they joined hands. He gently pulled him forward, and all but whispered into Hannibal’s ear-

“You dumped half the bottle.” He then pulled away and made his exit. 

Hannibal was as good as caught in this tangled web of lies, also hoping Will hadn’t noticed his boner. There had to be something to throw special agent Graham of his scent. 

oOo

Hannibal did of course indulge in more than one glass of wine, and pretty often. He loved the stuff, and enjoyed sipping it the solitude of the living room, feeling warm and unfettered by any other presence. He wouldn’t get drunk, per say, but as Will so eloquently put it, “Pliable.”

It was one of these night that Hannibal was sitting on a sofa, listening to music a with a bottle by his side. His eyelids were heavy, and he was lost pleasantly in thoughts of Will Graham. These thoughts were sadly disturbed by a loud knock. Hannibal checked his watch. It was 8:30 pm. Who knocked on doors at 8:30pm? He hefted himself up with a sigh and went to get rid of whoever it was as quickly as possible when he opened the door and there stood-

Will Graham. Will fucking Graham. He suddenly felt those 3 glasses hit him like a bag of rocks. Hannibal tried to gather himself for a moment. 

“Good evening Will. What a nice surprise.” He was stiff, clenching both jaw and knuckles against the rush of warmth in his sternum. 

Will frowned. Typically by his point, Will would be sitting next to the fire place with a glass of bourbon in his hand and a tray of cheese in front of him. 

“Um. Hey Hannibal...I wanted to run something by you about a case…” Will lifted his bag a little higher on his shoulder, which was weighted down with papers. “Could I come in for a moment?” 

Hannibal mulled it over. If he didn’t let Will in now it would seem suspicious; This was maybe the second time Hannibal had been inhospitable in his adult life. 

“Of course” he answered, oddly clipped. 

Will noticed, of course, but just walked past him into the foyer. 

“I apologize intruding in on you like this so late, I just really needed to get your opinion on a case file. Jack is up my ass. Sorry. That was gross.” Will grimaced in regret. 

“Not a problem. Please have a seat.” Hannibal motioned to the coffee table in the living room, welcoming Will to lay down photos and information. Will bent over to place them in correct order when he smelled something strong and familiar. Will looked to his left and saw on an end table an almost demolished bottle of wine. He looked back at Hannibal and squinted at him, not even trying to hide his discovery. Hannibal was flushed, uncomfortable, trying really hard to lean casually against the sofa arm. 

“I’VE GOT YOU!” Will yelled gleefully. “You’re wine drunk! You’re a wine drunk! I knew it!” Will sat heavily onto the couch and giggled with evil glee. Hannibal sighed. He was currently as wine drunk as a sorority girl scrap booking photos of her ex-boyfriend. Why fight it at this point?

“Yes Will. I get wine drunk. Really, really really wine drunk. You win.” Hannibal hiccuped once and looked at Will with heavily lidded eyes. 

Will kept smiling when Hannibal practically fell onto the cushion next to him. 

“I called it Lecter. Damn, I wish we had bet money…” Will looked a little whimsical. 

“Shut up Will. You talk to much.” Hannibal’s words did not sound at all angry, but did sort of bleed into each other. “Will. I need to tell you something.” 

Will immediately saw Hannibal to be both affectionate, and apparently honest. He was pretty much on Will’s lap, head on his shoulder. 

“Hannibal I don’t think you should-” 

Hannibal cut him off with a finger to his lips. 

“Will. I love you. I love you so much holy fuck. I want to drag you by the hair to my room like early-man. I want to make out. I want to kiss your nose. I want to do other stuff. I mean you know, we’ll see how it goes.” 

Will was at a total loss. He tried to look down at Hannibal who was now absolutely in his lap and happily nuzzling his collar. Hannibal, despite his state, looked up into Will’s face. A flush cheeked, bearded, blue eyed face. He didn’t hesitate and kissed him full on the lips. 

Hannibal pulled back, a vaguely happy expression on his face, and regarded Will. 

Will regarded Hannibal. 

Hannibal regarded Will. 

Will regarded Hannibal. 

It was only a second more of silent regarding when Will kissed him back. On the lips. Oh jesus did he just kiss his psychiatrist?? He totally did. He wasn’t even the one wine drunk. 

Hannibal took this as a ready set go and attacked Will (as fast as he could anyway) and clamped onto his lips. 

Will and his penis were surprised, confused, and stiff with anticipation. When Hannibal put a hand between Will’s legs he acquiesced. 

“Hannibal.” He whispered. “I think I need a glass of wine.”

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HE FOUND OUT WHO KNEW???


	53. Dumb Doctor, Silly Willy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ummmmmm You were supposed to call me. GOODBYE FOREVER.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo! Sorry for the wait. I tortured our leeeetle behbehs in this one a little. A touch of smut. 
> 
>  
> 
> KILUBY

“Put your phone away Graham.” 

Bev glanced up from an open chest cavity at Will, who guiltily put his phone back in his bag. 

“Sorry” he mumbled, and turned to put on the blue latex gloves. “Lemme take a look.” 

Bev stepped aside and allowed Graham to peek into the cadaver’s gaping torso. He stepped away after a moment and shrugged. 

“I think it’s the flecks of metal. Just like you said.” He pointed at some shiny shards embedded here and there in the viscera. 

He turned to go and Bev looked over to bid him farewell, and caught Will once again pulling his phone out the shoulder bag. He looked at it and sighed, looking disappointed as he put it in his back pocket. 

“Weird.” Bev was interested a moment more until she became tangled in a loop of intestine. 

oOo

Will lingered after class, enjoying the peace. There was something soothing about a room that had been filled with noise becoming silent. He pondered for a moment, eyes flicking back and forth from his desk to his bag. Desk to bag. Desk to bag. He blew his hair out of his eyes in defeat and reached for the inside pocket where his phone was sitting snugly. He opened the screen, heart fluttering like a hummingbird’s. He saw a text flash across the screen and there was a moment of rapture, until the name “Jack Crawford” popped up in a little green box. He felt like a schoolgirl, and put his head between his hands in shame and dismay. 

oOo

Hannibal was distracted. He was a good actor- a great actor, but even he was starting to feel anxious and twitchy.

Franklyn Froideveaux had noticed the other man’s agitation about 10 minutes into his session. He felt as if he were an expert on the one, and only Hannibal Lecter. Hannibal was his doctor. His soulmate. His equal. His lock screen photo. So, he was surprised to catch Dr. Lecter tapping his foot lightly on the ground. He stopped after a few minutes, but immediately began to rub his hands together. His gaze was also off, glancing from Franklyn to his desk and back again. 

“Hannibal-I’m sorry-Dr. Lecter. Is there anything wrong? All my friends tell me I’m an excellent listener.” Franklyn’s face was sympathetic, and he desperately wished he was close enough to grasp his “friend’s” hand. 

Hannibal cleared his throat and seemed to come out of some kind of disassociation. He blinked at Franklyn, and opened his mouth to speak. Franklyn looked at him with a kind expression, and Hannibal had never felt the urge to punch anything as much as Franklyn’s sweaty mug. 

“Yes Franklyn. I’m fine. I was lost in your...in your story. Please continue.” Hannibal kept control of his appendages for the rest of the hour, only betraying his distraction with the occasional flicker of his eyes.

oOo A week Before oOo

Will had been finishing a wonderful hour with Hannibal, talking about everything and nothing, sipping on fine wine and chuckling here and there. Will tried hard not to stare at Hannibal’s lips-those perfect, perfect lips, but it was of no use. He wanted to do probably illegal things to that mouth. He had been denying it for months, but between the wine and warmth and glow in Hannibal’s eye he finally admitted it to himself. Hannibal was his match. His soulmate. His iphone wallpaper. There was a comfortable break in conversation, and they looked at each other for several moments, both searching for something. Will was the first to break eye contact and stood, stretching his arms over his head.

“I think I’d better go doctor. It’s getting on.” Will looked at his wrist, as if he was wearing a watch, which he wasn’t. Hannibal held back a laugh and stood as well. 

“Thank you for yet another enjoyable, and enlightening evening Will. I was hoping, perhaps, you would like to meet for dinner outside of the office? You aren’t really my patient, after all.” Hannibal tried to look mistress of himself and nearly did, if it weren’t for the blushing. Will, luckily, failed to notice as his own blush was beginning to creep down from his cheeks and cover his neck. 

“I...I would like that. Let’s coordinate for later this week, schedules allowing?”

Hannibal nodded, and smiled one last time as he ushered Will out of his office. 

Hannibal sat behind his desk and started to sketch absentmindedly. He was already giddy with juvenile anticipation, waiting for Will’s text. 

oOo

It was Wednesday. Will hadn’t heard from Hannibal since their last meeting, and it was making him a little...downtrodden. Had the doctor decided Will wasn’t worth his precious, fancy time? Was there some sort of a black tie lemming benefit going on?

“Will. Will. Are you with us?” Jack raised his eyebrows at Will, looking displeased. 

“Yeah. Yeah with you.” Will looked sulky, which was not totally un-Will-esque. 

“What are your thoughts on this Hannibal? Anything you think we haven’t hit on?” 

Will stiffened and twisted his head around. When had fucking Hannibal fucking shown up fucking fuckery mcfuck.

“I’ll have to take a better look at the notes Jack, that is if you don’t mind.” Hannibal sounded pleasant and reasonable as always. 

“Of course of course” Jack waved him off. You can use my office, I have to run”. Jack left without another word, and Will found himself alone with the delectable doctor. 

“Will. It’s good to see you.” Hannibal’s words were almost clipped, a complete turn around from his behavior towards Jack. 

“Yeah...hi Hannibal. How are things..?” This sentence was awkward, and filled with odd formality. 

“Just fine Will.” Was Hannibal’s quick reply. “I must be going.” Hannibal swept out of the room, coat over his arm. 

Will was hurt. He stood there, his puppy eyes becoming even puppier. Well, if that’s how it was going to be….he tried to not care. He had been turned down before, but these occasions had never stung like this. He tried to rub away the tight feeling in his chest. 

oOo

Hannibal had never been rejected in his entire life; Although, he thought, those individuals he had easily seduced were not Will Graham. Will Graham was a creature entirely his own, and more importantly, he never been in love with any of those quick encounters.

That’s right. He was in love. Suttering, blushing, masturbation-all-over-his house- in love. There was nothing for it. Will wasn’t interested and that was that. He banged his forehead on his desk for the sake of some drama, but it just hurt.

oOo

Friday came before Will was ready for it. He sat up in bed and glared out the window. Sure enough the sun was rising, the dark clouds becoming slightly illuminated. There was rain pattering on his window, and the dogs were hesitant to leave their beds. (Also known as Will’s bed). Cancelling his normal appointment crossed his mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It might be awkward at first but they’d move past it. Will had picked up Hannibal’s frosty hint, and decided to just act as if nothing had happened. 

The end of the day loomed as the winter sky darkened. It was only 5pm when night was fully upon them. Will tried to distract himself at his office, and began to grade student papers. Several hours later, he found his office full of little origami dogs composed of said papers. He looked at the time, and picked up his jacket and bag. Might as well get it over with. Rip off that assing band-aid. 

oOo

Hannibal was trying to pay attention. He thought he’d attempt to actually listen to Franklyn’s nonsense, instead of doodling stick figures fucking each other in his notebook. It was to no avail, and soon Franklyn’s ramblings became white noise. Hannibal kept one foot in the real world so to speak, and stood as soon as the clock struck 6:55. Franklyn opened his mouth to speak, and Hannibal cut in. 

“Goodbye Franklyn have a good weekend practice the exercises we went over.” 

He pretty much pushed him out the door into the waiting room, and gave him the stink eye when he tried to turn back and say something astronomically stupid. 

When Franklyn disappeared out the door there was Will, sitting awkwardly on the edge of his chair. The men avoided eye contact and Hannibal, as per usual, gestured him inside with a cold, “good evening Will”. Will followed his instructions and sat down in his usual chair, clutching at his bag like the Queen Mum. Hannibal sat across from him, jaw clenched, refusing to look into his eyes. The clock was ticking louder than normal, the sound deafening in the tempestuous silence. 

Hannibal decided to begin, not a man to be overcome with any kind of emotion. 

“How was your week Will?” Hannibal leaned over and grabbed two glasses of red wine off of his desk, as was their tradition.

Will gulped, and answered. 

“It was fine. Yours?” 

“Fine.” Hannibal responded, and took a swig of wine. A large swig at that. 

Will threw back his own, in need of some liquid courage. He was pissed, and Hannibal needed to know it. What the Hell.

“Why didn't you text me.” 

Will slammed the delicate glass down onto the arm of his chair, which thankfully was leather. He looked at Will, incredulous and outraged. 

“Pardon me, sir, but I believe it was you who failed to contact me” Hannibal sniffed, trying not to look like a sulky teenager. 

Will kept going.

“Listen Hannibal, you’re not interested, I get it. Just have the balls to let me know instead of giving me the silent treatment, or whatever the text equivalent of that is.” 

Hannibal halted his reply to process the new information. He then looked at Will and began to deduce him more thoroughly. His fists were tight in his lap, and his brows were furrowed. His body language screamed anger, but his eyes screamed...

Hannibal laughed. He laughed so heartily he almost dropped the now empty glass of wine. Will, on the other hand, stood up so abruptly his chair was pushed backward. This time he purposely threw his glass onto the floor. It was far from satisfying, however, as the thick carpet softened its landing. Will went to rush out the door but was never given the opportunity, as Hannibal jumped up behind him and grabbed his arm. 

“Get off me you asshole.” Will yanked his arm back posessively. 

“Will- Will please stop. I’m not laughing at you.” Hannibal looked more than a little insincere as he chuckled some more, shaking his head at Will. Greying hair falling across his forehead.

“Well then what?” Was all Will could say, his eyes shooting sparks. 

“Will. We are idiots. Look. I thought you were going to contact me this week about our date. At least, I very much hoped it was a date.” Hannibal released his grip on Will’s bicep. 

It was now Will’s turn to deduce some shit. 

“But...you were going to text me…you said...” Will’s anger had faded and was replaced with vague confusion. 

“It looks, dear Will, as if we are both at fault. Now, would you mind accompanying me to dinner at 8? Which is coincidentally right now?”

Will closed his eyes and felt that same, blotchy blush return. They really were morons. 

oOo

At 8:45pm Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham found themselves not at dinner, but laying sticky, content, and entangled on the expensive rug in the doctor’s foyer.

They’d do dinner some other time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude, we've all fucking been there.


	54. Everyone is horny af

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barista. Sexy, mysterious gentleman, misuse of dairy products.
> 
> *The author had just realized she published the first part of this fic in her trope fic. So. Here’s the entire thing. What happened? We may never know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christ. That is a horrible title. But guys, I wanted to publish this asap. It's been a while since I've posted something. 
> 
> I'd also like to say that the Maxfield Parrish painting is very much not in a private. I took incredible liberties so incredible satan is rubbing his hands together. The Lantern Bearers resides in Arkansas, In the Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art.
> 
> Also, I published the first part of this fic in my trope series. Due to coffee shop. But Will also gets kind of pwned.
> 
> I will edit more. xo

Will hadn’t worked at Martha’s long. 

It was a sweet little place, tucked in a small corner of the Inner Harbor. It was a beautiful neighborhood, and obviously, sat on the harbor side of the city. It was always bustling, with tiny eclectic shops crowding the streets. Martha’s was always fairly busy, locals and tourists grabbing caffeine and treats between shopping sprees. 

Will wasn’t particularly...social. Martha Hudson was his aunt-and had raised him. And thank god. His scholarship didn’t really cover booze.

Will lived right above the shop in a neat little apartment. It had a bedroom, a lilliputian sized kitchen, and a quaint little living space. The walls were ancient exposed brick, and the wood floors were painted black, which was another sign of antiquity

He had one roommate. Daisy. A huge, hairy, panting roommate who didn’t pay rent and occasionally pissed on the floor.

Will had found her as a puppy, huddled by the trash cans behind the shop. She had grown. And grown. And grown. 125 lbs later, that tiny pup had hulked out into some sort of mythical beast. Her giant skull often rested on the counter while Will cooked dinner. 

oOo

Will had decided to take graduate forensics classes at The University of Maryland part time. The rest of his hours he studied, worked at Martha’s, and took Daisy to the dog park-where she terrified everyone and rolled in shit. 

 

oOo

Will always preferred opening at the coffee shop. He was a morning person, and liked the quiet of the streets as the sun rose over the harbor. It was 5am when the bell on Martha’s door jingled softly. Usually people didn’t start showing up until 5:30 or so. Will tried to quickly get things set up as the customer came up front. 

“Good morning” greeted a smooth voice.

Will turned around. 

The man looked like he had materialized out of the 19th century. His entire suit was an elaborate plaid, including the waistcoat. Seriously a waistcoat??

Will couldn’t deny the man was attractive. Odd, deep set maroon eyes, high cheekbones and full, uneven lips. The accent he couldn’t really place. Will had to admit, he wouldn’t mind seeing what was below those thick layers of fine fabric. 

“What can I get for you?” Will grumbled, not meeting the man’s eyes. Will had no clue how to interact with people. He was good with dogs, and that was pretty much it. There had actually been complaints to his aunt multiple times concerning his surly demeanor. She only chuckled and gave him a hard candy, just like she had done when he was 6. It had become a running joke. 

The customer, probably 45 or so (at least a good 15+ years older than Will) looked at the menu intently. Will had a feeling it was all for show. 

Finally the man said,

“A large black coffee please Will.” 

Dammit. His name tag. 

“Alright. $2.50.” Will almost whispered.

The man looked amused, his lips spreading into a grin. 

“Of course.” He handed Will a $5 bill. Will made change, but the man waved his hand towards the tip jar, with a charming raise of an eyebrow. 

Will went to the large carafe, the fresh brew releasing an alluring scent. He handed the paper cup to the man, and mumbled “here you go.” That was the closest Will could really get to friendly. 

“Why thank you!” Returned the man brightly. And to Will’s surprise, instead of leaving, the man sat in a comfy chair in the corner by the gas fireplace. He reached into his leather satchel and pulled out a sleek computer. 

Could Will duck under the counter for the next half hour? Pretend to burn himself and run out? Really burn himself and run out? 

He was considering his options when-

“I’m sorry to bother you-but is there a wifi password?” The man caught Will’s gaze this time, and something tingled up his spine. 

“Oh. Yeah, um. It's…” Wait what the fuck was it? What was wifi?? His brain came back online and he muttered-

“Um...beansandcheese. One word.” 

The man smiled fully this time. 

“clever.” 

oOo

Will worked 4 days a week typically, leaving time for classes and studying. Finals were coming up, however, and he took a week off to fall asleep with giant books on his face. Daisy loved him being home, and lay on his chest like a Falcor sized blanket, practically suffocating him. Will couldn’t say he minded. There were worse ways to go. 

He woke up the morning of his last exam to a deafening knock at the door. Martha.

“Ughhhh Aunty I’m in my underwear.” He groaned, stumbling into the living room.

She had never had boundaries, and bustled inside while he was searching for pants. 

“Christ Woman!” He exclaimed, trying to cover the front of his morning -tented boxer briefs. 

“Oh Willy. It’s only natural.” 

Will tried to be embarrassed, but it was far too early. 

“I brought you something!” She said with a giggle. 

“Is it scones?” Asked Will hopefully, finally finding a pair of sweats underneath Daisy, who was licking her ass enthusiastically.

“Noooope!” Aunt Martha squealed, pulling something from behind her back. 

It was a was a package. Well, a present really. It was wrapped in dark paper, and tied with a brilliant red ribbon. 

“The ribbon is silk Will!” Exclaimed his aunt, bouncing on the balls of her feet like a child. 

Will held the package and looked at it suspiciously. What if it was an ear or something? 

“Oh god, open it or I will!” Growled the woman. 

“Jesus i’m doing it.” 

Will sat at the tiny round table by the window. He opened the package carefully, setting the ribbon aside gently for his aunt. She practically pounced on it.

When the paper was off he opened the lid of the small square box. Inside was a mug among black tissue paper. On the side it said, in elegant cursive-

“Number 1 grumpy barista.”

Will had no idea what to say before Martha grabbed it. She literally slipped off the chair, peals of laughter filling the room. 

“THAT IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN!” 

Still on the floor, she sat up and clutched at her sides. Daisy decided to join these shenanigans, and jumped all over both of them. 

Will took the mug back. He didn’t know whether to be offended or amused. It did say “Number 1”…but who the hell would send him something like that?  
oOo

Will didn’t use the mug. He kept it on the side table next to his old, beloved squashy leather chair in the living room. He didn’t question his motives.

Will was back at Martha’s the next week, more or less relieved. He opened first thing Monday morning, feeling refreshed. He popped the donuts into the display case, and flipped on the tiffany lamps sitting here and there. He loved how safe he felt among the gentle glow of the lights. 

The door jingled, 5am sharp. 

‘Hello again!” 

Will stood up quickly, his glasses fogged over from emptying the dishwasher. 

“Oh Hell! I’m sorry!” Will stumbled over his words and tripped towards the counter, and jumped as his glasses were abruptly lifted off his face. 

“Here.” said the stranger. “My handkerchief is far softer than that poor excuse of an apron.” 

In a few seconds his glasses were placed perfectly back onto his face. The world came back into focus. The man folded up the handkerchief and slipped it back into the ticket pocket of another ridiculous suit. 

“How is it you have a handkerchief? Jesus it’s even embroidered with your initials!’ Will sounded unintentionally rude.

The man didn't seem offended in the least. 

“Yes, it happens to be.” Here he reached back into his pocket and handed the small square of fabric to Will. 

It was black (Will had assumed they were all white with scalloped edges). The letters “H.L” were embroidered in shiny white floss in the corner. 

“Wow. That is surprisingly… not gross.” Will mentally slapped a hand over his face. How did he even function?

The man laughed, a full and delighted sound. Will found himself huffing a small chuckle in response. 

“Here you go.” Said Will. “Sorry if it smells like coffee now. You’d be amazed how quickly fabric picks up the scent”.

“Oh no. Absolutely not. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t gift it back?” The strange man pursed lips, and was dramatically stern.

Will opened his mouth to argue when a long finger covered his lips. 

“I’ll take no cheek from you, my boy.” The man smirked. “And may I have a large coffee to go? I have several appointments this morning.” The man checked his watch. 

Will filled a cup and doubled the sleeve. 

“It’s uhh...on the house.” Will’s hands were twitching as he handed over the steaming cup.

Instead of arguing Mr. Fancypants nodded his thanks and elegantly exited the cafe.

oOo

The next morning Will was off. Work. Completely off. He even had time to jack off in the shower. He tried not to think of those high mysterious cheekbones and fitted suits. He failed. His body was accustomed to waking early, and the sun was still rising when he wandered lazily into the kitchen to start coffee. He was about to sneak down and steal a scone when the door flew open about a foot from his face. 

“What-” 

“It’s another one!!!” Martha interrupted. She handed Will the package and clapped her hands. 

Will ignored her and opened the identical looking box. 

Another mug sat inside. On the side it read-

“Number 1 less grumpy barista.” 

“You’re kidding me…” He looked up at Martha for an explanation. 

“It was left on the step this morning just like the last one. Ooooo I hope its a boy…” Martha waggled her eyebrows. 

Will went to set it next to the other and his aunt interrupted him-

“You have to use it. It’s gotta be good luck.” 

Will sighed and poured his nutmeg spiced coffee into the mug. He lifted it to his lips when his aunt gave a piercing screech.

“THERE’S A PHONE NUMBER ON THE BOTTOM! JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!” 

Will, startled and excited, dumped the coffee and turned the cup over. The was indeed a phone number. 

oOo

Will ended up taking his entire day off looking at the bottom of the mug. He was pretty sure he had the numbers memorized at this point.

Will was shit with people, but apparently some poor soul found him charming. Was charming the word he was looking for? So, in a burst of confidence, he punched in the number. And sent a text:

W: Hi. This is Will Graham. From the coffee shop?

 

He hit send….he motherfucking hit SEND. He had already saved the number under “Stranger.” The reply came immediately, and Will was also fairly sure it was a man, which was a relief.

 

S: Well hello Will. 

 

Will decided to continue the conversation. If that's what it was. 

 

W: Hello. Thanks for the mugs…

 

S: It was my pleasure, my less grumpy friend.

 

Will chuckled. 

 

W: Should I take that as a compliment? 

 

S: You absolutely should. Although, I must say I do enjoy my men a bit...gruff. 

 

W: Gruff. With scruff? 

 

Will rubbed his shortly clipped beard. 

 

S: Indeed. There is nothing more pleasurable than the feel of course hair against your cheek. 

 

W: Wow...I have no idea how to respond to that. 

 

S: Then don’t. I have to run...but I’ll be back. 

oOo

Will practically ran to the bedroom. He threw himself down onto the mattress, and stripped down to his boxer briefs. There was something about the friction against the fabric that really did it for him. He began to tease himself, running a single finger along the soft line of pubic hair just above the elastic band. His hand fell lower, and his shaft fell hotly into his palm. The fabric on his balls was gloriously uncomfortable. He began to fuck into his fist immediately, losing all control like an adolescent. He moaned, thinking about strangers suggestive words…”Hair against your cheek”. 

He came, hitting his skull on the headboard behind him. He was covered in semen, from his belly button up to his nipples.

It had been a while. 

oOo

Will passed out after that, snoring into his pillows. He awoke several hours later to the sound of Daisy scratching at the door. 

“Hold on! I’m coming you beast” 

He opened the bedroom door and the dog came bounding in, leaping onto the bed and making a nest. Will stretched and strolled out to the living room. He then remembered the...interesting conversation he had had before the orgasm nap. His now fully charged phone was glowing, and the little text alert popped up. Will snatched up his phone and opened the screen.

 

S: Good evening my friend. 

 

W: Thanks. How was your day? 

 

Will knew it was lame before he even sent it. 

 

S: The usual. Work and such. I’m currently making dinner. And your day?

 

W: I was off work. I took a nap. 

 

Will blushed. “Napped”.

 

S: Come for dinner. 

 

W: Tonight? 

 

S: Of course. Do you eat scallops? Red peppers? 

 

W: I do. But...what if you’re a cannibalistic serial killer? 

 

S: Don’t worry. I’d never eat you. Well, not in that sense. 

 

W: What’s your address. 

oOo

 

Aunt Martha was elated. Yelling. Clapping. Going through his closet. 

“Look nice. But not too nice. Something that will get you laid.” The woman said with a determined look in his direction.

Will knew she wasn’t kidding and ignored the comment. 

“And take an Uber. You should drink.” 

Again. Not kidding. 

oOo

Will hopped out of the Uber in front of a giant house. It looked late 19th century, with large stone lions guarding the door. It was now or never. He patted the lions for luck, and rang the bell. He could hear the muffled sound as it echoed through the hall. 

The door swung open and the man standing there smiled. The exact smile that had been gifted Will at the coffee shop. The same fancy suit. The same cheekbones and odd eyes. Will froze, and blushed up to his hairline. The man smirked and reached out a hand. 

“Hannibal Lecter. Very pleased to finally meet you.”

Will shook his hand limply, and “Hannibal” ushered him into the grand hallway. 

oOo

Will was silent as Hannibal led him thought the house. The foyer had shiny black and white marble tiles, which made a complex geometric patterns. The tenebrous blue painted walls were lined with paintings, all sitting in heavy gold frames.

Will stepped towards one of them and made a small sound in the back of his throat. Was that a real Maxfield Parrish? 

“Are you familiar with Parrish?” Hannibal had come to stand next to him, close enough that their shoulders brushed together.

“I am actually. One of my favorites. I like the one with the lanterns.” Answered Will, enchanted.

“Oh yes! “The Lantern Bearers!” Hannibal flashed a full, toothy smile.

He grabbed Will by the sleeve and led him into what must have been a study. Ceiling high bookshelves lined the walls, and more art was hung here and there. Hannibal turned Will roughly and there it was. “The Lantern Bearers”. 

The effulgent lanterns popped off the canvass, and Will was mesmerized. Who the Hell was Hannibal Lecter?

oOo

Hannibal Lecter was a psychiatrist, and no doubt an effective one. He created a sense of peace and restfulness around him. Will, despite his incredible anxiety leading up to this evening, felt warm and happy. 

Hannibal Lecter, as it turned out, was incredible chef. He knew the man was putting on a bit of a show for him, flambaying and elegantly placing garnishes on large plates. Will had no idea how to eat politely, so just went for it.

“Hannibal...this is…” Will had no words, and gestures awkwardly at the plate of scallops and roasted red peppers sitting in front of them.”

Hannibal chuckled, and bowed his head regally. The light caught his hair, a graying blondish brown, and almost invisible eyebrows.

“So. Will Graham. Tell me about yourself, outside of being a pereptually carmudgeonly barista.” 

“Well, I’m at UofM. Forensics, not sure where I’m going with it, just sort of floating along, absorbing what I can.” Will took a sip of wine, deeply uncomortable at attention centering around him alone. 

Hannibal seemed to sense his apprehension and left the subject, without any platitudes thank god. They finished dinner and Hannibal (who Will found to be ridiculously dramatic and ridiculously charming) served dessert. Strawberries resting in thick cream, with what turned out to be bitter dark chocolate in tiny, identical curls. Isn’t dark chocolate an aphrodisiac? Will couldn’t quite remember.

oOo

Yes. Yes it was an aphrodisiac. 

Will sat on the black, perfectly soft cushioned couch in a daze, wine and chocolate permeating his body and mind. Hannibal sat in an identical black chair to Will’s left, and they watched the fire burn out. Thank fucking god he took and uber. He should text his aunt. 

“Um Hannibal, could you point me towards the restroom?” Will stood up, wavering slightly. 

“Of course. Down the hall to the left.” Hannibal raised his glass of whiskey at him. 

In a moment Will on the lid of a toilet seat, equipped with fucking seat warmers, and shot out a text. 

W: Hey. I’m not dead. 

AM: Glad to hear. Did you drink? 

W: Duh. See? I just said duh. 

AM: Excellent. Use protection. 

W: Christ. I’m done with this conversation. 

AM: Good. 

oOo

When Will returned to the living room, another large bowl of strawberries and cream had magically appeared on small end table that sat in the v between the sofa and chair. Will had to smile at the overly blase look on Hannibal’s face. Transparent bastard. Will was drunk enough and horny enough to quit this little game. 

In what seemed like slow motion, he found his feet taking him to the older man. He stood in front of him, thighs touching his knees. Will grabbed a cream covered berry and was about to pop it sensually into his mouth, when it dropped from his unsteady hand onto the WHITE berber carpet. Fuuuuuuck. 

Hannibal’s eyes widened in horror and then he stood, almost knocking Will backward. He looked at will, his eyes filled with...holy shit. Hannibal grabbed him not so gently by the hips and leaned into his space. He whispered-

“What a naughty boy you are Mr.Graham”.

The kiss was slightly clumsy (Will) but incredibly hot and perfect (Hannibal.) Hannibal pulled away for a moment, only to coat his entire hand in the now pinkish cream. He opened Will’s shirt, and coated Will’s very erect nipples. He bent his tongue to hoover it off and Will shrieked. His nipples were certainly not the only thing erect. Then there were fingers in his mouth, and Hannibal said softly into his mouth, “you really are a terrible barista.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for mistakes! More editing to come. Hah. Come.


	55. Honeybabysugarsweetie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanni! You promised! 
> 
> A Will gets owned chapter.
> 
> Ok, I was just going over it again-and there is a FUCK TON of dialogue. So, a lot of spaces. xo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot take credit for this idea. Another lovely reader hit me with it-Thanks duuude. So, I hope I spelled mylimasis correct throughout the chapter. If I didn't feel free to spank me. :::wink and eggplant and peach emoji:::

“Mylimasis.”

Will turned around at the sound of the voice. He smiled, and tried to look friendly, yet unconcerned. If that was a thing. Hannibal smiled back, and turned to shake Jack’s hand. 

“Hannibal! I appreciate you taking the time to come in. Bodys’ in here.” 

Hannibal gifted Will another small smile, with the addition of a subtle wink. 

 

oOo

“Do you realize you say that whenever you see me?” Will stretched and propped himself up on 2 or 3 soft pillows. Hannibal was still blissed out, staring at the ceiling, his eyes unfocused. 

“Say what, my mylimasis ?” 

“That! That right there! You can’t call me fucking...babe or whatever it is in front of the entire fucking team.” 

“Well BABE, the other man answered as he hefted himself up next to Will on the pillows. “They do not speak Lithuanian. They all seem to assume, as people often do, that the word is a simple, generic greeting.

“You’re pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you Doctor?” Said Will dryly, shoving Hannibal off his pillows with a jerk of his shoulder. 

“Mmmmm.” Hannibal released a dramatic growl and launched himself onto Will, squishing him down onto the squishy cushions. 

“Don’t distract me” Breathed Will.

Hannibal growled again and Will lost any and all scraps of self control he had been trying to cling to. 

oOo

 

As it turned out, Jack of all people had noticed Hannibal’s frequent use of the foreign word. They were all together once again, Jack hell bent on making the psychiatrist one of the gang. They were all poking and prodding around in a still damp chest cavity, when Jack questioned-

“Hannibal. I’ve been meaning to ask, what does mylimasis mean. It’s Lithuanian I assume?” 

Jack didn’t even look up, just enjoying the small talk. Will, of course, turned red and choked on his own spit. Hannibal, who was always the face of poise and control, said airily, 

“Just a simple greeting. A Lithuanian “hey” would probably be the translation in English.” 

Will smiled at Hannibal’s use of “hey”. It sounded so out of place in his mouth. Oh fuck. He shouldn't have thought about his mouth...and where it had been about 12 hours ago...dammit. 

oOo

Hannibal strolled into Will’s empty classroom, and stalked his prey seductively. 

“Mylimasis….” he purred, making a deep sound in the back of his throat. 

“HANNIBAL HELLO LOOK WHO’S HERE IT’S JACK.”

Will’s voice was very loud. And very...screechy. Hannibal winced, and saw Jack Crawford perched on the side of Will’s desk. Jack looked between the men-Will’s white face, Hannibal’s almost imperceptible blush. Jack wasn’t the head of the Behavioral fucking Science unit of the FUCKING FBI for nothing. He stored the information and said to Hannibal-

“Mylimasis Dr. Lecter, sorry to run. Will, I’ll be in touch.” 

Jack hesitated a moment at the door, and squinted his eyes. Hannibal himself now sat on Will’s messy desk, and seemed to actually be whispering something to him…

oOo

“Will is acting weird.”

Beverly Katz was lounging on the couch in Jack’s office, waiting on some results. 

“How do you mean?” Jack asked, still absorbed in the file in front of him. 

“Not sure exactly. Sort of jumpy? Well, Will is always jumpy but this different. Paranoid? Maybe that's the word I’m looking for.” She frowned down at her nail beds. 

Jack looked up at this, and understood.

“Now you mention it, I’ve noticed something similar. I can’t quite place it, and this may be completely off base, but I think there’s maybe something going on between he and Hannibal.” He frowned at Bev, and she regarded him back. 

“Well, he did jump out of his fucking skin when I surprised him in his office. Lecter was there but…” She trailed off. 

“Let’s watch them, said Jack, rubbing his hands together like the devil himself. Bev agreed with a stoic nod, and started to again pick at her nails. 

oOo

There were no weird Hannigram (that’s what they had named their little investigation) for a few weeks. Both Bev and Jack grew tired of their now boring plan, and things were just...normal. Before they weren’t. 

oOo

The crew liked to drink and frequently visited little watering holes around Baltimore. Will would show now and then, and the doctor, who had become a regular in the morgue, had also gotten a general invite to any of these “events”. 

“Hey Will. Drinks tonight.” Zeller said it matter of factly.

“Yeah sure. Where?’ He pulled off his gloves and tossed them into the trash. 

“Mahaffey’s. Thinking 8. So you good?” Zeller stood and cracked his spine which made a series of satisfying pops. 

“Sure. I have a few things to get done, then I’ll met you.” Will mirrored Zeller’s stretch, and groaned in orgasmic satisfaction. 

“It’s a plan.” 

oOo

Mahaffrey’s wasn’t all that crowded on Thursday nights, but it wasn’t quiet either. Beer lovers laughed and cheersed and slapped money down onto the wooden bar. The glasses were emptied and the bartenders grabbed the sometimes soggy bills in front of them. 

The gang themselves were in a little half circle at the end of the bar, the source of not all, but a significant amount of the noise. They each had chilly, sweating glasses of beer, the empty ones stacked up out of the way. Someone had ordered several plates of crab cake sliders, and they chowed down the zesty sandwiches, figuring it would be enough to “soak up” their liquid consumption. 

Jimmy Price was deep into a tale about falling face first into a crime scene, contaminating everything with his follicles and skin cells. The team was cry-laughing, hearing him describe, in graphic detail, what spleen juice tasted like when Will’s phone chimed. He launched himself (a little too speedily) across to bar, but Bev got there first. 

“Bev. Give me the phone.” He was panting a bit, face pinched. 

“Well, I was going to...but now…”

She hit the green button without looking at the caller ID, and before she even uttered a sound, the caller said (more like groaned) “mylimasis”.

“Uh hi….Dr. Lecter. Here’s Will.” She handed the phone to Will, who snatched it and walked away pissily. They all looked at each other, Bev calculating, the other 2 confused. Will, soon after the call left, bidding them all goodbye with a wave. He rushed out, and as soon as the door closed behind him, Bev filled the boys in on the intriguing hannigram case. 

“Jesus Christ woman! Call Jack!” Price voiced, throwing back the last warm dribbles of his drink. They closed their tabs in record time, and in about 3 minutes were standing out in the nippy November night. Bev dialed, and enabled speaker phone. 

“What do you want Katz?” Jack was grumpily reading through endless files and wanted to get fucking done. 

“Jack. Will and Lecter...something is definitely up.” 

Jack could hear Price and Zeller giggling in the background. 

“Well what the fuck happened? C’mon Katz! Don’t leave a man hanging.” 

Bev coughed as a blast of chilly air swept over them. She brought the phone closer and said-

“Look up that weird word he keeps dropping. Mylamalsiss or something?” 

Jack murmured “mylimassis” into the phone, and wrote it on a posit-it. “Hold on.” Jack pulled up the definition within 30 seconds, even with the shitty attempt at the spelling.

“Bev...holy shit.” 

oOo

“They know something.” Will was spread out on Hannibal’s couch, pouting and drinking coffee. He had sobered up...a little. 

“Who knows what mylimasis?” 

“That right there Hannibal! Bev picked up the phone and you fucking said it! Well, by the look on her face you probably moaned it.” Will slammed the coffee cup down on the coffee table. Hannibal winced. Despite it’s name, that table was not to be abused by mugs. Hannibal rose stiffly and removed the cup with an icy look at Will. When he came back, he moved the man’s feet to sit down and place them on his lap. 

“Will, stop worrying. It’s unbecoming.” He pressed his thumbs into the arches of his feet. “But, if you insist, I promise not to say it again.”

“Thank you. Now can we go to bed?”

Hannibal followed Will down the hall, and allowed himself a rare, wide smile. He had absolutely moaned at who he believed was Will Graham.

oOo

That same Will Graham slipped into Jack’s office, trying to be inconspicuous. Maybe they didn’t know. It could have just been a friendly check in call. Well, it wasn’t but still. 

“Hey Will.” Said Bev, seemingly normal. Maybe he really was just being paranoid. Jack began his briefing, and Price and Zeller and Katz were comfortable on the sofa. Will stood in a corner, not unusual. 

Jack was then interrupted by a soft knock on the door. 

And look who it fucking was. 

“Ah! Doctor Lecter! Thanks for asking to come in for a bit. I’ll continue the briefing, feel free to ask questions.” Jack’s eyes darted towards Will, who had hand hands over his face. They darted to Lecter. He nodded at Bev subtly who did the same. Will was rubbing his temples. Hannibal was watching him. She elbowed Zeller who in turn elbowed Price. OMG Will’s face...was he going to puke? 

Hannibal then turned, pretending to just notice Will. 

My darling sweetheart!” He strode over to Will, and before he could react, Hannibal dragged him into a kiss with far more tongue than necessary. 

Will just sort of stood there, everyone else pretty stunned, investigation or not. 

“Wha-Will stuttered-I told you! Hannib...you promised!” It was now Will’s turn to send his eyes darting around the room, where Bev was silently gasping with giggles on Zeller’s shoulder. Price had landed on just a pompous, knowing look.

“I believe you specified you wished me to refrain from calling you mylimasis , dearest Will. Darling was never off the proverbial table.” They looked at each other in silence.

“Well let’s step out and give you guys a second…” said Jack, biting the inside of his cheeks. 

“Excellent plan” exclaimed Price, and as he passed them on the way out, gave Will a firm slap on the ass.. 

Asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bar they visited is a real place. They have a beer club. Srsly let's all join.


	56. No pants dance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ummmmmm Willy. I'm just so sorry.
> 
> No. I'm really not. And you allllll know it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there was this entire weird process with this, I'll elaborate at the end.

Will was dropping by Dr. Lecter's on the way home to discuss a case file. It would be thirty minutes tops, and he would hit the old dusty trail to old dusty Wolftrap.

“Will! Welcome!” 

Hannibal opened the door with a flourish, an apron around his waist and a spoon in one hand. 

“Oh...I’m sorry.” Stuttered Will, pushing his slipping glasses back up onto his nose. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner.” Will checked his watch, hoping he hadn’t gotten the time wrong.

“Indeed you haven’t,” returned Hannibal jovially. “I was, in actuality, hoping you would join me.” 

 

oOo

It was the dessert course, Will decided later, that sent him 1,000 sheets to the wind. That treacherous chocolate framboise cake-y thing, soaking up homemade french vanilla ice cream. The cherry on top, of course, was Hannibal stealthily refilling his glass with various ice wines. And then the tumbler of scotch that had appeared in his hand.

 

Will was visibly beginning to succumb to a jolly, drunken haze. Hannibal delighted in seeing Will more forthcoming, laughing freely, and occasionally leaning across the table to touch Hannibal’s hand. This was, of course, Hannibal’s grand design. Did he not know Will never turned down good scotch? He watched Will begin to sway, now on the couch next to him in front of a toasty blaze. Hannibal was happy, a word so poignant in its simplicity. 

They sat in silence, just watching the fire as it performed its alluring dance. Hannibal was sleepy and felt weightless within his (and Will’s) bubble of contentment. Will started up and looked over at Hannibal, who smiled at him. 

“Um...Hannibal...umm...bathroom?” The sentence was drawn out, but more or less complete. 

“Of course. Please use my private one. The one in the hall is being renovated.” (It really, really wasn’t.)

Hannibal stood to usher Will down the wide hallway, past the library, and into his own bedroom. Will, under any other circumstances, would have been embarrassed to the point of drooling, but was too far gone to give a shit. 

All Will noticed, when he stepped through the threshold to the bedroom were dark walls, tall windows, and the biggest fucking bed he’d ever seen. Will wanted to compliment him, comment on something or other, but was only able to come out with “wow pretty!” 

Hannibal was well mannered enough to nod, and then point him towards his destination. Will was not surprised in the least to find a giant, open room with mosaic floors and one of those big glass showers rain with a fancy rain water head. He unbuttoned his pants, humming something vaguely, and went to pull the zipper. 

Went to pull the zipper. 

Went to pull the zipper…

The zipper, as it turned out, was stuck. Really. Fucking. stuck. He could see from his awkward vantage point the front of his button down had been ensnared between the teeth. He was fucked. Or, maybe not fucked sadly, which is something he had begun to ponder after that 3rd generous glass of malt. He looked around him, trying to find...something. Of course there was nothing, no tool or incantation to come to the rescue, so he tried a few more times with increased gusto. Completely stuck. And his bladder, sadly, was completely full. He sighed, knowing when he was beaten and thought to himself “thank god I’m tanked” and went back out into the bedroom. 

“Hannibal?” Will called, hovering between the bed and bathroom. 

“Are you alright Will?” Hannibal came through the door looking concerned. 

“I…my...thing...my shirt...it’s stuck” was the best he could come up with, but his frantic gestures were clear enough. Hannibal caught on quickly, and Will looked at him with pleading eyes, as he tugged fruitlessly.

“Would you mind if tried? Better from my perspective.” Hannibal asked wickedly. 

He nodded, and began to determinedly stare at the ceiling. Hannibal cleared his throat and went to kneel...yes kneel… in front of Will in order to surgically remove shirt from zipper. Will, despite being as drunk as a skunk, felt something twitch in his abdomen. Please no. Will began clenching and un-clenching his fists as Hannibal fiddled, trying to talk down the inevitable erection. Jack Crawford. Dog poop. Body cavities. 

Despite Will's valient efforts, the tip of his penis was soon pressing snugly again that bastard of a shirt. He risked a glance down at Hannibal, hoping he would pretend to not notice.

“I’m afraid it’s of no use will. I’m going to have to cut out the zipper.” Hannibal finally rose from his knees.

Will didn’t argue, still having to piss like a racehorse. Ah. That did it. The unwanted erection whimpered and fled. 

Hannibal magicked a pair of scissors out of nowhere, and made a horizontal slice in Will's shirt from one hip to the other, exposing his naval and the elastic waistband of his boxers. Hannibal made several more quick snips, and Will’s pants slipped to his knees. He sighed in relief and headed the other direction, trying not to run while attempting to slip out of one pant leg. He made it, and had the most glorious piss of his life. He finished, and after the washing of hands, returned to the bedroom holding up his pants. 

Hannibal sat on the bed, silent, holding the scissors still. 

“All better” He asked, looking pointedly at Will’s crotch. Goddammit! That hard on was back, and taking no prisoners. Will opened his mouth, mostly out of ceremony, as he had absolutely no response to the bizarre situation. Hannibal took the air of mystery out of the awkward moment and in 2 strides had Will by the hips. 

“I’m afraid, Mr. Graham, those trousers are ruined. “Let me help you out of them”.

Hannibal pulled Will’s thumbs away from the tattered waistband, and his pants fell to the ground with no help whatsoever. Before Will could process anything at all, he was tossed onto that insane mattress, with a very persistent psychiatrist on top of him. 

Will groaned in relief when Hannibal, not wasting one precious second, pulled his flaming cock out of those tiny boxers. 

“Oh thank god. I thought, I didn’t know…” Will was having a difficult time forming actual words. 

Hannibal, with the finger that wasn’t currently sliding it’s way home, touched Will’s lips, silencing him. Will did as he was told, and lifted his hips. Then there was a slicked finger. Then 2. And finally…

Hannibal fucked the living god-knows-what out of Will Graham, and Will Graham just coaxed the doctor's cock deeper. He groaned and hummed and hooked his ankles around his muscled back. Will was so close, and when Hannibal finally grazed a finger down his length, he gasped, coming like old faithful between them. "Hanni-" he sighed out, and went slack.

At the sound of his own name, Hannibal went rigid, and was soon a fuzzy blanket weighing down Will’s chest. 

“Wow.” Was was the only thing that made it past Will’s lips.

Hannibal, thoroughly agreed and whispered back-

“Wow indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright-I literally had to draw diagrams to figure out how the hell Hanni was going to cut those fucking pants off. It may be wrong. But. I really don't want to change it. 
> 
>  
> 
> xoxoxox


End file.
